no, he does that

30 Oct

Here’s an impressively crazy story I heard at a party the other night: a woman stole money from her boyfriend’s bank account to buy her own engagement ring. In what possible world is that going to make him more likely to ask her to marry him? In what tapped-in-the-head mind do those steps make any sense? We all know the answer by now: the mind of a crazy bitch.

In the immortal words of Phil Collins…

a very wise man

you can’t hurry love, you’ll just have to wait.

Seriously, how would you ever tell the story of when he asked you to marry him?… “Well, I stole money from his account and bought my own ring. I put it on his desk with a note that said ‘ask me or I’ll eat your cat’ and he asked, he was shaking and crying, it was so romantic.”

crazy bitch tip: no, he buys the engagement ring for you or you don’t get one.

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