Letter to the Editor #1

21 Mar

Holy mother of crap! We’ve received our first ever letter to the editor and I couldn’t be more proud!

Check it out…


Dear How Not To Be A Crazy Bitch,

Do you think my friend qualifies as a crazy bitch?

A few years ago my best friend Zoe suggested we go on a weeklong holiday with another close friend of hers, Nina. I had only previously met Nina on a few occasions, but trusted my best friend’s decision that we’d get along and have a good time, which we did.

After spending practically every minute together, we all became really close. I was initially surprised as to just how much I got along with Nina, but soon came to realise that it wasn’t that far fetched to enjoy the company of a friend’s friend. After all, Nina and I were friends with Zoe for similar reasons. It’s almost inevitable that we’d have compatible personalities, isn’t it?

Well, not according to Zoe who, in the years since, has turned into one heck of a crazy bitch and it’s all because of my friendship with Nina. You see, once we got back home, us three would regularly catch up, but soon life got in the way, making it difficult to arrange times for us all to meet up. And here’s where the stupidity begins.

Zoe finds it ‘weird’ that I hang out with Nina one-on-one, that is, without Zoe. Now, just to be clear, I see both Zoe and Nina as much as I would any other friend. So it’s not like I’ve replaced Zoe with Nina; I’ve simply made another friend. But apparently there’s a problem with that. Zoe loathes the fact that Nina and I see each other and, for some peculiar reason, cannot comprehend why we are friends. She’s practically insulted whenever she discovers that Nina and I have gone out!

Zoe even once bluntly told me that she’s ‘disgusted’ at the situation. Utterly confused, I asked why, but she failed to provide a rational answer and, instead, blamed me for not being able to ‘sympathise’ with her feelings.

Zoe’s problem, which has absolutely no logical basis at all, is taking its toll on me. I see passive-aggressiveness in her texts and body language. Whenever I’m with her, I’m confronted and interrogated with questions about where and with who I was at specific times, as if I’m some suspect in a crime. I’m virtually found guilty by Zoe if I fail to inform her of every encounter and conversation that I’ve personally had with Nina. This is what ‘catching up’ with Zoe now consists of and I’m getting really fed up by it.

So, do I have a crazy bitch on my hands or am I just paranoid?

Thanks, Confused Girl

*names have been changed

So here’s what I think, Confused Girl…

This Zoe character is displaying quite the collection of crazy-bitchitudes and, as you’ve rightly pointed out, rationality doesn’t appear to be a big part of her thought process. You definitely don’t sound paranoid but Zoe sure seams to be dealing with a case of it and its sanity sapping, brain bending abilities.

I’m sure Zoe is a generally nice person but she’s really giving it to you with both barrels because she’s struggling to make sense of her own emotions. Unfortunately, there’s an insecurity pushing her logic out the window and providing you a first-hand account of crazy-bitch syndrome. Lack of logic and  emotional overreactions are the key symptoms in this case. Zoe’s not liking the emotion that your friendship with Nina is causing her and in classic crazy-bitch style she’s going to continue to blame you for it until the feeling goes away.

In all fairness, it would feel a bit weird to introduce your friends to each other and then find them hanging out without you, so maybe the best way forward is talk it over with Zoe and to tell her you understand why it’s affecting her. Be sure to point out that it’s actually a really good thing and that you really appreciate her introducing you to someone you get along with so well. Even if you don’t understand why she’s so bothered, try and sympathise with her.

You might also try inviting Zoe along whenever you and Nina are making plans. Zoe will at least feel included and my bet is, if you invite her often enough, it won’t matter to her so much anymore.

If Zoe can’t get her head around it, that’s not your fault. If she continues to be weird about it after you’ve made an effort to be understanding, just don’t hang out with her for a while.

Either way, It’ll all blow over eventually.


This was kind of fun! I’d love to hear more stories and questions from the rest of you about your experiences with crazy-bitches.

Crazy bitch tip: If someone asks you why you’re upset with them and you can’t give them an answer, you’re quite likely to be heading into cookoo mcGoo territory.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: