Archive | July, 2014

So glad

30 Jul


Crazy bitch tip: keep in mind that the child you attempted to abort might one day be able to read.


The grapefruit technique

25 Jul

This “Angel” lady seams nice, articulate and generally well adapted. That is until that noise she makes near the end, and yeah between that and what she’s actually suggesting, that’ll spike up the old crazy-bitchometer!

Crazy bitch tip: Careful about sexual surprises.

Family guy examples

20 Jul

Asking out a 24 year old girl

This seems so exaggerated that it couldn’t possibly be real, right? False. It might be exaggerated but this is exactly what it’s like when you’re a guy trying to ask out a girl like this. I don’t know about other guys but for me, when I was asking a girl out, it wasn’t meant to be a game or deception or anything confusing, I was just asking her if she wanted to spend some time with me. This seemed to be completely lost on some girls though.

If a guy asks you out and you want to go out with him, say “Yes”. If a guy asks you out and you don’t want to go out with him, say “No thanks”. If you’re not sure if you want to go out with the guy, say “Yes” and figure it out by the end of the date.

There’s no reason to turn it into some big confusing pile of horseshit, and here’s some inside info from the guy’s side it pisses us off, confuses us and if you do a bad enough job, it can really hurt our feelings. There’s nothing more humiliating than finding out the girl you though was keen on you was just playing with you for some attention and there’s nothing more frustrating than finding out that the girl you really liked wanted to go out with you but was “playing hard to get”.

Pleas understand this. Men cannot read your mind. You might be playing hard to get while every other girl that guy has asked out was just not interested, how the hell is he supposed to know that when you say “No”, you actually meant “Please ask me again later to confirm for me that you’re really, really interested because I like playing weird little games with people instead of just saying what I actually mean.”?

Men: We don’t know what we did

And that brings me to the fact that us mere males have pretty much no idea what the hell you women are after most of the time.

This is an interesting little bit of animation here because when most guys watch this, they laugh at how crazy the girl is but when most girls watch it, they understand why the girl is upset. In case you didn’t get it, watch it again but keep this in mind… the girl is interested in the guy and she’s hoping that he’ll ask her to walk with him to the next class they both have together, the guy is of course, completely unaware of this and his non-nonchalant “Seeya there” is seen by the girl as a rejection and thus, humiliated, she runs away. Her friend is then furious at Mr Oblivious for hurting the young lady’s feelings.

I’ve been through this one too. Actually, I’ve been through this one a LOT. Let me point out yet again that men have no mind reading super powers, no matter how much you might wish we did. When girls act like this, they expect guys to be paying attention to all their little cues and hints and body language and whatever else but you forget that we might not necessarily be in detective mode every waking second of every day.

There’s a massive crossover between the behaviour of a girl who is legitimately attracted to a guy and a girl who is just being friendly. There are also girls out there who just love to flirt with guys they aren’t interested in, and that looks pretty much identical to when a girl is interested. Guess the wrong way and make a move and the guy can be mockingly rejected, guess the wrong way (or don’t even notice) and the guy runs the risk of massively offending the girl. It’s a minefield.

Interestingly, most women tend to stop playing the confusing games and being indirect as they get older, especially so if they’ve never married.

Going on a blind date with a 37 year old

I don’t have direct experience with dating a 37 year old. I have, however dated some ladies in their early 30s and even some in their mid-to-late 20s who have acted in a slightly less cartoony version of what’s shown in the animation above. The increasingly loud biological clock and other societal pressures tend to mount against women as they get older if they’re still single and childless.

When women let this pressure get to them, a lady’s standards can drop through the floor. Once desperation creeps in, things get pretty full on. To tell you the truth, ladies, it can be flat-out terrifying. As a guy, it can end up feeling like her sole interest in you is for your baby batter and as soon as she’s certain you’re not firing blanks, her focus turns to limiting your opportunities for escape. I’m reminded of episode #12…

and episode #13

What the hell is my point?

We don’t know what you want. We know we want you to have it (unless it means you’re just trying to lock us into a quickfix marriage to beat your biological clock) and we know we don’t want to upset you if we can avoid it, so maybe it’s worth noting that WE CAN’T READ YOUR MINDS. 99% of the problems I’ve run into with girlfriends and potential girlfriends has come down to one simple thing, a lack of clear communication from the woman involved and it drives me round the bend. Why the hell did we put all this time and effort into creating all these different languages with all these beautiful words if you’re still going to try and communicate with your eyelashes and various other silent and generally invisible ‘hints’?

If you ladies are gonna make fun of guys for acting like cave men and being big dumb animals, don’t go getting all shitty at us when we do a piss-poor job of playing super-duper girl move detectives. WE DON’T KNOW THAT LANGUAGE AND THE MOVES MEAN DIFFERENT THINGS DEPENDING ON WHO YOU’RE TALKING TO. So please, stop it.

Crazy bitch tip: if any of the women in these videos remind you of your self, it’s time to do some self reflection and consider if that behaviour is actually helping you towards getting what you want.


Alien tears

10 Jul From

Just caught a new comic from The Oatmeal which touches on Lesson #6 – Crying, even Ripley isn’t able to overcome the evil superpower that is crying.

Crazy bitch tip: Tears are powerful, do not abuse this superpower.


Manners/How Not To Be A Crazy, Racist Bitch – Part 2

9 Jul

It’s not so difficult to adhere to what our society considers having manners. You say please and thank you when you interact with people, you show consideration to those within the community who are frail or carrying a burden and you show respect and courtesy to all people at all times. That’s it. Not exactly complex. Hardly a huge ask.

From time to time you’ll run into people who you believe to be failing in their duty to treat the rest of us with the manners we expect. In this scenario, I believe it’s important to inform the person that they’re doing the wrong thing, so they’re at least aware of it in the future. There’s one vital rule you must follow if you do choose to inform someone that they’re being impolite, however and that is that you have to be polite in the way you do so.

This lady fails miserably in this regard.

know what I mean?

y’know what I mean?

Aside from the revolting racism going on here, which I suspect everyone can immediately identify as wrong, this woman appears to have no clue that she is actually being way more impolite to her bus riding companions than the school kid she’s accusing of poor manners. Sure, the kid standing in the aisle will likely slightly annoy anyone who has to work their way around him but the loud and aggressively racist tirade she spits and snarls at the kid affected everyone on the bus, so much so that someone felt the urge to break out their phone and film it.


Swearing at people won’t encourage people to do what you want them to do, neither will throwing racist insults. The only thing that sort of thing is going to do is create a major confrontation.

Here’s another cautionary example of a woman reacting in the wrong manner in response to her belief that people weren’t being courteous enough to her.

Let’s not beat around the bush here, the lady in this video is ticking all the boxes on the Crazy Bitch checklist and she’s done an amazing job of not only offending an entire train carriage full of people, because this was captured on video on has become a viral story, she’s also reinforced an existing stereotype of Australian people being racists. She’s made a fool of herself and embarrassed an entire country with her actions.

I’ve seen a few follow-ups with the woman where she explains that she’d been having a rough time, had been unemployed for over a year and had been having an extremely tough day and that when nobody would move to give her a seat, she just lost the plot. I’ve actually seen this happen to people and seen how they snap into “I’ll say the meanest thing I can think of about anyone in the vicinity” mode. It’s like the reaction of a cornered animal. That doesn’t really matter though, does it? It doesn’t change what happened. It doesn’t help fix anything and it certainly doesn’t excuse the behaviour.

The point here is that, no matter what else is going on in your life, control yourself! If you think someone’s being rude, it’s OK to point that out but you better check that you’re not being 100 times more rude than they are in the process. Spraying racial slurs and swearing your head off at people is never going to improve a situation and it’s never going to help anyone learn anything else but the fact that they’ve had a run-in with a crazy bitch.

Crazy bitch tip: Mind your own manners, especially when pointing out rudeness in others.

Crazy bitch bonus tip: If you’re plagued with racist thoughts, at least keep that bullshit to yourself.


Episode #20 – Cut off

3 Jul

Episode #19 – Leverage

1 Jul
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