I forgot to tell you that a princess contacted me

21 Oct

I had some friends around today. One of them designed the Scragus Australis character from the previous post, so I was showing him how the post looked and that brought up the story of recently being contacted by a person who’s trying to get rid of a meme from the internet, which is a whole other story in itself, but that reminded me that I got a comment on a post from a self-proclaimed princess a while ago, and I bloody well forgot to tell anyone about it.

I figure now’s as good a time as any…

A while back, I was browsing youtube and fell into one of those deep, scary youtube rabbit holes. I started out watching fail videos and the suggested videos just got weirder and weirder.  Eventually, I stumbled onto a video of a beautiful young woman in her underwear screaming at the imaginary viewers on the other side of the camera to punch themselves in the balls because she, like, is, like, y’know?, like, pretty.

A screenshot from the video

This is a screenshot from the video, but please remember not to punch yourself in the balls for me, it’s not my thing, it’s hers.

You’re all familiar with that classic thing where you see an attractive person and the first thing you think of to impress them is to throw fists at your genitals to bruise ’em up good for their approval? It’s like that, except not made up. I’m telling you, it actually happened in a video that used to be on youtube. The pretty young lady in the video above yells at you to punch your balls. She even used the previously non-existant term ‘ball-punch’!

After I watched the video, I was so impressed with how crazy our nut-punch instructor had appeared that I felt I had no choice but to share it with the readers. In the article I made a bunch of jokes about the difference between someone who is given the title ‘Princess’ and those who just decide they’re a princess and I shared a less than favourable opinion of the star of the show.

One thing I definitely did not expect was for the princess herself to drop a comment onto the post. Now, the comment was pretty funny and I wanted to allow it, but this site is hosted by a network that doesn’t want to be associated with porn in any way and the comment contained links to websites that sell porn, so I couldn’t approve it at the time.

BUT! After talking with my mates today I discovered that I still have it, so here’s an edited version of it:

Thanks for that astute analysis on me! Not surprisingly, you’ve got it wrong (I won’t say completely wrong since you have nailed the fact that I’m vain and love my “job” as a Femdom and financial dominatrix). I’ll take the free promo though so, thanks for that! Note that the above video is five years old and has actually been stolen and is therefore being used illegally and without my consent. If you’d like to see more of my “vulgar,” “weird,” and “sociopathic” work, you can find me featured on [dirty website #1] or [dirty website #2]. I have a personal website as well! [Dirty website #3]. I post a lot of hot pictures on twitter too (@YouCanFindItForYourselfIfYouReallyWantToAndNoThisIsNotIt). Enjoy!

* edits are in super sexy, princess pink

Now, there’s shameless self-promotion and then there’s trying advertise places to find your very… let’s say ‘niche’ …videos on an article in which you’ve been referred to as a sociopath. I’m no branding expert but I suspect that’s not the traditional approach to good PR.

Anyway, I didn’t approve that comment and low and behold, a few days later I receive a comment on the same post from a different account. I didn’t approve that comment either because it was just way too weird. Seeing that I’m on the topic though, I’m going to give you a look at it…

Screenshot 2014-10-21 20.46* also edited in pink for ProfessorWankly’s privacy

So… yeahhh. Not quite sure what to say about that but ProfessorWankly sure seemed focused on phallic shaped objects and the various things he (Wait, I just assumed it was a guy but it could be a woman, geez, that was quite sexist of me. Sorry about that, ladies.) had decided I’d been doing with them.

Whatever you think of ProfessorWankly, you have to admire his (or her) commitment to the person who wants him/her to punch him/herself in the balls and send money to her for the impressively challenging task of continuing to exist.

But back to my original story…

OK, so my mates were over and I was having a laugh with them about these comments and they asked to see the original post. When I attempted to show them, I sadly discovered that the original video that astounded me so, has been removed from youtube. I can tell you that this news resulted in a big fat feeling of disappointment for me because I used to get a real kick out of seeing people react to watching that vid.

Trooper that I am, however, I got onto that handy little search feature and found this little gem:

Looks like I was wrong because things are really looking up for the star of the show. She’s now the proud owner of a video camera, complete with a remote! I think my favourite part of this video is where the costar squeezes her breasts together into the out-of-focus camera and says “Hi Mum! Boobs. Boobs”

I lost access to one magnificent video and found another. But I’m not just even steven, no I’m a lucky fellow because I found ANOTHER impressive video in the suggestions along side there!

So, I guess there are people who are into that sort of thing but I still think this is some crazy shit.

Crazy bitch tip: I dunno, don’t yell at people about how they should lick your feet because they’re beneath you. Whatever. I’m tired. You get the very tired.

18 Responses to “I forgot to tell you that a princess contacted me”

  1. Josh Atkens 2015.07.16 at 10:31 pm #

    So do you still think Rene is childish and jut doing this stuff to cover up her flaws?


    • the editor 2015.07.16 at 11:52 pm #

      I haven’t really thought about it since the post but seeing as you’re asking, I kinda feel bad for her. I remember wondering if Rene was made to feel powerless/unwanted when she was young and never got over it, and she’s turned her whole life into a way of trying to feel powerful and wanted as a result.

      Nice email address btw, Josh.


      • Josh Atkens 2015.07.16 at 11:58 pm #

        I guess you could feel bad for a person that way. Maybe she didn’t get enough attention as a kid.


      • the editor 2015.07.17 at 12:05 am #

        Does make you wonder how she’s going to feel about it all when she’s older.


      • Josh Atkens 2015.07.17 at 12:05 am #

        But let’s be honest would you date a girl who puts other people down for a living?


      • the editor 2015.07.17 at 12:12 am #

        That moment when you’re trying to explain what your girlfriend does for a living to your parents would be challenging, that’s for sure.


      • Josh Atkens 2015.07.17 at 12:19 am #

        So if you were talking with “princess” Rene what other words of wisdom would you give her?


      • the editor 2015.07.17 at 12:31 am #

        That she will probably feel a lot better about herself if she addresses her inner demons and stops accepting money from people that probably shouldn’t be giving it to her.

        And also… https://youtu.be/bX14whtcXAw


      • Josh Atkens 2015.07.17 at 12:39 am #

        What’s with the youtube link from Killers?


      • the editor 2015.07.17 at 12:45 am #

        I reckon everyone can benefit from hearing “everything will be alright” every once in a while, regardless of their royal title, or lack there of.


      • Josh Atkens 2015.07.17 at 12:48 am #

        I guess the same goes for Rene’s friends Monique and Ceara.


      • the editor 2015.07.17 at 12:51 am #

        Can’t say I know who they are, but sure. They’re probably having too much fun trolling people on the internet to worry about that, though.


    • Anonymous 2019.08.24 at 2:28 am #

      U bitch she has no flaws…she is a flawless busty sexy mistress…worship her


    • Anonymous 2019.08.24 at 2:28 am #

      U bitch she has no flaws…she is a flawless busty sexy mistress…worship her


  2. Kyle206 2016.01.02 at 5:18 pm #

    I’ll give you the perspective of someone who actually watched her videos – religiously.

    I’m not gonna lie Princess Rene has brought alot of pain into my life. My name is Kyle, at 20 I have depression and a low self esteem. I found her videos a year into when my depression started. Her cruel words became a way to relieve and sexualize my feelings of inadequacy. I get off to when she insults me over something I am especially sensitive too. Her insults are so painful yet for some reason it feels good too hear them. Words can not describe the excruciating pain that is felt when Princess Rene tells you that you are worthless and unlovable.

    I am on the verge of quiting her. To make a long story short, one night during the Summer her insults drove me over the edge. I almost killed myself. After getting out of the hospital, I realized that this sexual kink needs to stop.

    I wonder if Rene realizes the influence she has over the lives of the men who watch her videos. Does she realize the pain she can cause? What if someone really did kill themselves because of what she said. Could someone like Rene not feel any guilt or remorse?

    Basically, I want to know if there is any tinge of compassion in Princess Rene. Knowing the answer to this will help me understand why Rene makes these videos.


    • the editor 2016.01.03 at 10:14 pm #

      Sorry to hear about that, Kyle. Sounds rough as hell. Hopefully you’re on the road to recovery now.

      First things first, rene doesn’t matter. The only reason you think she does is you listened to her bullshit. Stop listening to her bullshit. From now on, find things you can do to build your self esteem instead. I know depression sucks but it’s way easier to feel good about yourself when you’re doing cool shit, so get the fuck up and do some cool shit. No excuses.

      I think she makes videos because she gets off on it, plus she makes money off them. Have a look at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychopathy and decide for yourself if rene matches the symptoms. If she does, chances are slim that she’s going to have any guilt or remorse because psychopaths/sociopaths are incapable of those feelings.

      One thing I know for sure is that there are some really nasty people out there. Some are totally empty inside, and the only way they can feel good is by sucking the life out of others. Some are so shitty that you could waste your whole life trying to find a speck of goodness in them. Thing is, there are way better things to do than wasting time looking for specs of gold in puddles of shit. Got me?

      Also, check out nofap on reddit. That might help.


    • Moish 2016.12.01 at 2:31 pm #

      Thank you so much for that!
      i’m just like you. 😦

      are you getting any better?


    • Anonymous 2019.10.19 at 5:09 pm #

      ur a faggot kyle like me…u are a loser if u watch her videos…all losers should worship a goddess like her…when princess rene tells ur worthless its true…bow down and be her worthless slave


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