Billy Joel’s first wife (Elizabeth Weber)

11 Mar

I bet you’ve heard this song:

Billy Joel is an interesting bloke, to say the least.

Renowned as one of the world’s greatest singer/songwriters with many songs becoming international smash hits, Billy Joel has had a massive career, and a life full of all the action and drama that goes with being rich and famous.

As with most songwriters, Billy Joel has written many songs about love and about those people he has loved, and that’s what I want to tell you about.

Did you know that Billy Joel was briefly involved with Elle McPherson? I sure as hell didn’t! Turns out he wrote this song about her:

Clearly, Mr Joel didn’t expect the relationship with the woman the world referred to as “The Body” to last.

Elle

Elle “The Body” McPherson. Seems a ridiculous nickname in modern times, but the 80s was a different era.

I didn’t know about the Elle thing, but then again, I didn’t know he’d been married to Christie Brinkley, either, so I’m clearly not as up to speed with Billy Joel’s love life as I could be. But hey, I’m learning.

For example, I discovered that he wrote this song about Christie Brinkley:

Apparently, he started writing it about Elle but they broke up and he decided to finish it off by making it about Christie Brinkley instead, which makes sense considering he was marrying Brinkley.

So, to recap, Billy Joel was involved with not one, but two supermodels.

Billy Joel: Supermodel magnet.

Billy Joel: Supermodel magnet. Maybe it’s his beautiful eyes?

But Billy hasn’t always had such good luck with women. For starters, he’s been divorced 3 times. The most interesting of those wives, and not in a good way, was his first wife: Elizabeth Weber.

Joel got involved with Weber while she was married. Not only was she married, she was married to the drummer in Joel’s band, Jon Small. Not only was she married to the drummer in Joel’s band, they had a child together. That didn’t stop Ms Weber though. Neither did the fact that Joel attempted suicide twice from the shame of having his friend, Small, learn that Joel had been diddling his wife.

After Joel got out of the mental institution all this chaos landed him in, Weber snapped him up and married him. Seeya Mr Small! Joel began writing again, but could only do so by self medicating with copious amounts alcohol and cigarettes. Weber didn’t mind too much though, because she was now Joel’s manager, and earning sweet, sweet cash from everything Joel did.

The people who cared about Joel tried desperately to convince him that Weber was going to cause him pain. They pointed out that Weber was “manipulative, rude, and controlling” and appeared more focused on the lifestyle associated with rock’n’roll than she was with Joel himself.

Joel couldn’t see it though, and he wrote this about her:

Beautiful song, right?

Sort of.

The thing is, it appears Billy Joel was indeed being manipulated by Weber but he couldn’t see it no matter how much his friends and family tried to help. He actually wrote “She’s always a woman” as a response to all those who told him Weber was trouble. Pay careful attention to the lyrics:

Joel thought that Weber was in complete control of herself and would mistreat everyone except him. In She’s Always a Woman Joel makes tells those people who complain about his wife that, yes, she does horrible things, but she only does those things to people who aren’t good enough to earn her good side. Joel sings “blame it all on yourself ‘cos she’s always a woman to me.”

Weber had Joel so smitten that he couldn’t see through her (alleged) manipulation. It seems Joel never considered the fact that anyone who will “carelessly cut you and laugh while you’re bleeding” might actually be a crazy bitch, regardless of who she’s cutting or why. Unfortunately, Joel would learn that the hard way, but it’d take a few solid kicks to get it through his head.

Kick 1

Billy Joel wrote this song for Elizabeth Weber as a birthday gift.

According to Joel himself, after he performed it for her, Weber asked, “Do I get the publishing too?”

She was serious. This woman who just had Billy Joel write a touching love song about her, and sing it in person to her for her birthday, was only focused on how much money the song would bring her. Shit, if Billy Joel wrote me a song and played it to me, I’d be weak at the knees, and I’m a dude! I don’t know how Weber remained so focused on money in that moment but I’ll tell you this, it sure as hell suggests that she wasn’t particularly interested in Billy Joel’s feelings.

Thing is, Weber was already entitled to half of everything Joel brought in because she was bloody well married to the guy. On top of that, she was his manager, so she was taking a cut of everything he earned, before he even earned it! Money would never have been an issue for Weber!

Kick 2

While Weber was clearly reaping a huge income from being married to the Piano Man himself, she wasn’t satisfied with only getting more than half of everything he brought in. To ensure she got as much as possible, she (allegedly) convinced Joel it was a good idea for her to bring her brother Frank into the mix, even though Joel was deeply uncomfortable about the whole thing. And Joel should have been bloody uncomfortable about the whole thing, because Frank got right (allegedly) to ripping him off to the tune of $30,000,000!

Kick 3

Weber decided to divorce Joel, but he was still in love with her. In an effort to keep her around, Joel agreed to buy her everything she wanted, including a $4,000,000 townhouse in New York.

In the midst of this effort to keep Weber around, Joel crashed his motorcycle. His hands were smashed. This was a pretty terrifying thing for a guy who played piano for a living and any decent, loving partner, would have come to the hospital to help Joel in his time of disaster. Not Elizabeth Weber, though (allegedly).

No, Weber (allegedly) turned up to the hospital to find her husband of several years laying there in a deep depression, drugged up to his eyeballs on painkillers, and, according to Joel, pulled out a contract for him to sign. That’s right, Weber stood there in front of Billy Joel with his mangled hands and asked him to sign everything he had over to her (allegedly).

Finally, it sinks in

In the interview with Joel told Schruers, Joel said:

“I may have acted like an idiot a time or two, but I’m not a complete idiot. That really killed it right there and then.” – Billy Joel

It had finally sunk into Billy Joel’s head that the woman who had caused him to twice attempt suicide, alienated all his friends and family, seen dollar signs when he offered romantic gestures, brought her brother in to rip him off, and had generally been an out-and-out monster to everyone unfortunate enough to run into her, wasn’t someone he should be romantically involved with.

scWay to wake up to shit quick, there, Bill.

Who’s to blame?

I don’t give a shit who’s to blame. Sure, Joel was an idiot for not seeing past Weber’s (alleged) manipulation and should have listened to his friends, but if everything Joel claims is true, Weber might actually have been a soulless gold digger who had no qualms with stomping one of the world’s most popular entertainers into the dirt just to get a few bucks, even though she probably would have ended up even wealthier if she just treated him nicely (allegedly).

I think Billy Joel was aware of his own crazy when he wrote this song:

…he just didn’t realise that the woman who decided he was the lunatic she was looking for, was (allegedly) one of the craziest bitches ever.

Crazy bitch tip: If Billy Joel writes you a song, don’t ask him if you’re going to make money off it.

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5 Responses to “Billy Joel’s first wife (Elizabeth Weber)”

  1. Michelle Lombardo 2016.05.23 at 5:36 pm #

    My dad worked for CBS Records & Tapes as a promo man in the 70’s and he has some major stories about Elizabeth and what a bitch she was to everyone including Billy. I cant find any pics of her on the internet…. but my dad said she had a butch haircut and she didnt have a decent bone in her body. He has told me all about her shitty behavior at after parties in Seattle and LA and how she seriously never shut up…. nothing anyone did was good enough and that she was a fucking money hungry cunt. It makes me sad that he has been used and abused over the years by so many. Yeah, sure he seems to be happy and doing well these days…. but nobody will ever know what goes on inside his mind, and regardless of how he is doing these days….. he never should have been treated so badly by Elizabeth. I hope she gets hers in Hell. CUNT

    Like

    • Alice Ayers 2016.07.14 at 8:06 pm #

      Michelle, I question your own issues. Who makes such offensive comments about someone they never met. you sound like you want revenge about something that wasn’t about you and didn’t happen to you. Another form of “crazy bitch”?

      Like

  2. M 2016.09.05 at 3:10 am #

    Fool me once, shame on YOU. For those of us who have experienced similar scenarios (i.e. being so blinded by love that it becomes impossible to see or admit to oneself that the object of your love doesn’t deserve said love) this story is no surprise.

    Like

  3. Nobody 2016.10.28 at 2:43 pm #

    Oh wow. I had been a huge Billy Joel fan growing up and into my early adulthood. I had no idea what a bitch she (allegedly) was. Poor guy.

    Like

  4. David H. 2017.03.11 at 8:59 am #

    You know, after reading about everything Billy Joel has gone through in his life, it’s a wonder how he had been able to keep a cool head about himself. I mean look at the scenarios: first, his first manager, Artie Ripp, rips him off and screws him over royally – even going so far as to claim 50% of everything Billy Joel has raked in in terms of royalties. This was even after he signed with Columbia Records in 1973! This trend of Ripp screwing Billy over would continue until 1986 – when Ripp’s joint contract with Columbia & Joel expired. Lurking in the midst of all this screwing over was Billy’s first wife and later manger Elizabeth Weber Joel. Between Weber & Ripp, I can’t see how BJ had been able to sustain himself through all of those years. Heck, you think & it’s a wonder how Billy didn’t wind up in the poorhouse. The moral of this story is DON’T TRUST ANYBODY…and that includes your own spouse, business managers & their entire family!!! Anyway, it’s a relief to know that this mess is all behind Mr. Joel & it has been over for several years now. :-O

    Like

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