Look out for the Monster

16 Mar

I don’t like this lady.

I’d actually be surprised if one of the points this level 2000+ “Christian” is talking about weren’t intentionally included by the people who make Monster. I mean, it is called Monster after all, so putting a sneaky version of 666 on the can isn’t implausible.

But why would she think a company named “Monster” would be laying claim to being a Christian company in the first place?

There are many points to pick apart in the woman’s flawed analysis, and I’m sure plenty of other people have already done that, and I’d prefer to focus on something different, here. My major concern with this video is that the leading lady has somehow come to the conclusion that she can take down a company that serves the antichrist by sticking some printed bits of paper to a piece of cardboard and telling regular people about the evil plot she’s uncovered.

Think about how crazy you’d have to be if you truly believed that the world’s fate is endangered by a satan worshiping company that’s busy selling us all devil enriched fairy-dust water as a means for the antichrist to infiltrate. OK, so now you’ve got that in your head, imagine that your best efforts to save the world from satan’s insidious attack was to… stick pictures to a piece of cardboard and talk to people about it every now and then when you have a captive audience.

Wouldn’t you be out there with a tank taking down the factories where they can this demonic drink? Wouldn’t you be getting on the news and letting the world know?

Apparently not. Apparently the risk of satan swallowing up all that is good and holy is not enough for this Christian lady to go beyond the “I stuck this shit to this shit and told people about it” phase of attempting to save us from old man fire-pants.

Crazy bitch tip: When you reach the stage of adhering pictures to a big piece of board, beware, you may well be heading directly into crazy town.

Bonus random extra

It’s funny, I was thinking about how to write this one up and I remembered how Monster used to taste so bad that they had to make a new version of it, and then make an ad about how terrible the old one tasted.

Turns out, I was wrong. It wasn’t Monster, it was another energy drink brand called Mother. So, for all of “satan’s” hard work with the 666 and whatnot, I’d have to say the whole branding thing isn’t working quite as strongly as Ms anti-Monster seemed to think.

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