Please don’t stab people in the face if they decline your sexual advances.

30 Sep

A lot of crazy things happen in Florida. The vast majority of those stories involve the infamous Florida Man, who could keep our sister site hownottobeamassivedouche.com busy all on his collective own.

This story, however, focuses on the much rarer “Florida woman.”

A man was hospitalized Thursday after a woman cut his face with a kitchen knife because he declined several requests to have sex with her, according to a police report.

Read more at TCPalm.

The short version is, a drunk woman wanted to have sex with a guy but he said repeatedly… and a Florida Woman’s solution was to stab him repeatedly in the face.

We all know rejection is painful and we all know that alcohol can exasperate our emotional reactions. That’s understandable. In fact, I’d guess that most of us can probably imagine ourselves having a really bad night where we had too much to drink and made some bad decisions and ended up getting turned down by someone we really like and we getting overly emotional about it.

That’s not so crazy.

The crazy comes in right about the point that a knife comes into things. That’s never a good response to being rejected, no matter how much alcohol you’ve consumed.

So if you ever find yourself reaching for a blurry knife with your blurry hand while your heart pounds through your chest, please, for your own sake, just leave wherever you are without grabbing it.

Chances are this Florida Woman is going to lose years of her life in prison and Florida Man will have to spend the rest of his life explaining the scars on his face, and nobody wants that.

So please don’t stab people in the face if they decline your sexual advances. It’ll really have a negative impact on your reputation.

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