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Who should pay on a date?

19 Jun

The question “Who should pay on a date?” comes up often. I listen to a few podcasts from New York and I hear a lot of the female guests talking about how they’ll go out on dates with guys they have no interest in whatsoever just to get a free meal and some drinks. That’s some stupid shit right there. Not to say that you shouldn’t let someone pay for your night out but don’t let that be the only reason you’re going out with them.

To trade your time for ‘treats’ is pretty gross. A lot of the women I’ve heard telling these stories later explain that they hook up with the guys as a sort of trade-off, sometimes even going to the extent of sleeping with them. One of these girls started her story off by saying how creepy and gross and old the guy who took her out was, and how she only went out with him because he offered to take her to a really ritzy restaurant; but by the end of the story she’s back at his place giving him head! She had absolutely no interest in the guy and  no intention of seeing him again, but then he offered to take her to another nice restaurant and, what do you know… she agreed!

That’s! fucking! crazy!

I’m not a fan of the “how to attract/catch/get/trap/capture/cage-up the [person] of your dreams” things, but I saw this particular explanation come up on Reddit about who should pay on dates, and I think the point this bloke makes is excellent.

“Treat the guy you’re interested in as well as you’d treat your best friend.” Now that’s some damned good advice, right there.

And how’s that chick’s form? “I’ve been seeing a guy for 5 months and he’s starting to suggest that I contribute to the cost of dinner when we go out!” Yeah, NO SHIT! because it’s fucking mental that you’ve been involved with someone for 5 months and haven’t paid for a single dinner!

Holy mother of crap! I cannot understand where people get these ideas from. Even if you’re going out with a billionaire you should still buy a round of drinks or whatever from time to time. It’s just courtesy!

So who pays on a date? The human beings that consumed the meal. If someone offers to cover the whole bill themselves you should at least offer to cover your share anyway, and if they refuse you should appreciate the fact that someone was so happy to spend time with you that they willingly paid their hard-earned money to treat you to a meal.

Crazy bitch tip: At least offer to pay your share.

Musical Madness (Rachel Bloom seems pretty cool)

6 Apr

I’m not familiar with the show these videos are from, and to be honest, I only found out about any of this because I saw some big boobs bouncing around on my feed and that was enough to catch the caveman part of my brain and triggered further investigation.

I don’t think that’s entirely my fault. Anyways, I figured anything from a show called ‘Crazy Ex Girlfriend‘ is probably gonna have some content that suits this site. Turns out I was right.

Strangely enough, I don’t think Rachel Bloom is a crazy bitch, I think she’s just using satire to get her point across. I’m a huge fan of that approach, so she actually seems pretty awesome to me.

Yeah, ok, that’s a bit nuts but she is living proof that acting like a crazy bitch is not a permanent thing, that people can choose not to be crazy bitches.

I’m not sure if I’m supposed to masturbate angrily after watching that one or not, but I guess I’m gonna have to check out her show now.

Crazy bitch tip: if you ever catch yourself lying in your diary, it’s probably time to talk to someone about what’s going on in your life.

 

Bonus Video:

Avoid being hypocritical

4 Apr

2016-03-22 22.03.13

First of all, I think most people are already aware that shaming is, in fact, as example of shaming. What I really wanted to point is the fact that points 4 and 5 are especially contradictory, don’t you think?

Crazy bitch tip: Practice what you preach.

Motherly love

4 Jan

I have a huge affinity for the mothers of the world. The older I get the more I realise just how challenging an undertaking it is to raise a child and just how much hard work and sacrifice goes into it. To the billions of mothers of the world who have put their children’s needs and wants ahead of their own, I salute you and I hope your children show their gratitude to you for everything you have done and will do for them.

A tattoo with the word "Mom" in a love heart

With that said, there are a few mothers out there who are really letting the rest of the team down. I’m not talking about the mother’s who didn’t know the right thing to say when their child was upset, or couldn’t find a way to afford that special item the kid was dreaming of having, or the ones who had no choice but to end the relationship with their child’s father and unfortunately had to put the kid through a tough time in the process. No, those are parts of life. As difficult as those things might be, they’re not malicious acts.

bad

Unacceptable

The mothers who are letting everyone else down are those who refuse to accept the responsibilities of being a parent. That’s some real bullshit right there. Your kid has only got one mother and it’s impossible to overstate how important that mother is to her child. To not at least try to do the best for your child is unconscionable. Aside from the very, very small percentage of women who are genuinely forced into being a mother without any choice in the matter, the rest either chose to have a child or at least chose to ignore the steps that go into avoiding having a child.

Once the kid is born, you’ve got one responsibility before all else: to ensure that child gets the best life you can possibly provide him/her/other-politically-correct-alternate-gender-title. If it’s not in you to devote yourself to that child it’s better to put them up for adoption and allow someone else to show that child the love they’ll need.

To not give your kid your all is pretty shitty, but the sad thing is, there are mothers out there who are doing an even worse job than that. There are mothers out there who actually intentionally mistreat their children. If ever there’s someone who deserves the title of crazy bitch, it’s a mother who knowingly harms her child.

Here are a few examples not to follow if you’re fortunate enough to get the opportunity to be a mother:

I didn’t know it was possible to fit the word whore so many times into an 11 minute conversation with your son.

Crazy bitch tip: It’s never ok to wear a white dress to a wedding, least of all to your daughters. Also, when your children are telling you that you’ve hurt them over and over, acknowledgement and an apology is a better starting point than trying to convince them that they’re wrong.

Apparently she “didn’t mean to do that one”.

Crazy bitch tip: You should be mortified if you cause your child to fall and smash their head onto the ground, and if you’re not it’s time to speak to a psychologist about why.

This one is so hard to watch.

Crazy bitch tip: Discipline and torture are not the same thing. If your child is shrieking like an animal from the physical or emotional pain you’re inflicting upon them, you’re doing it wrong.

Crazy bitch tip: if even your dog can tell that you’re doing the wrong thing, it’s time to adjust your approach.

Crazy bitch tip: it is more important to feed your child than have access to the internet.

Crazy bitch tip: not everyone is meant to breed.

The truly revolting

Crazy bitch tip: you’re supposed to fucking protect your children from predators, not invite them into your home.

Crazy bitch tip: if your boyfriend wants to fuck your children, get the fuck away from him!

Crazy bitch tip: do not pimp out your own goddamned child!

Crazy bitch tip: do not pimp out your own goddamned handicapped child! For Fuck’s sake!!!!!!!!!

 

Awesome women: The power of vulnerability

5 Mar

Brené Brown is awesome.

Lucky for us, Ms Brown has delivered a poignant TED Talk that helps explain how she got to be so awesome.

Ms Brown is extremely intelligent, has a great sense of humour and is full of compassion. I admire her willingness to have the courage to be imperfect and vulnerable and talk about it in front of the rest of the world.

I love to see people who just ‘get it’. Brené Brown had to fight herself to get there, but get there she did. And now over 16 million people have watched her explain how she got there. It’s well worth the 20 minutes.

Crazy bitch tip: numbing yourself to life is no way to enjoy it.

Seduction

3 Mar

Chen Lizra is a very cool, very sexy, very interesting woman.

In this TED Talk, she discusses seduction. It’ll take you about 13 minutes to get through it, and I reckon it’s well worth a watch.

I’ve got to admit, when I first saw the title of this video, I assumed the worst.

I assumed Ms Lizra was going to be teaching women the equivalent of what “Pick Up Artists” teach men, and I think Pick Up Artists are massive douches who have studied how to manipulate women’s emotions in order to take advantage of them, so that wasn’t a good start. But in this talk Ms Lizra makes some really interesting points about seduction, which I hadn’t considered before.

By the end of the talk, I started to think there’s nothing wrong with seduction, and I started thinking Ms Lizra was kinda awesome. I think it’s an excellent thing to teach people to be confident in themselves and to chase after what they really want, and if seduction helps along that path, let it be another tool in the shed.

Maybe that was just because Ms Lizra managed to seduce me, too. I don’t know, but I did enjoy that this video and it helped open my perspective of seduction, and I appreciate that.

Anyway, the reason I wanted to post this video is to point out that I don’t think there’s anything wrong with seducing people, but I do think there’s something wrong with seducing people purely for your own entertainment.

I reckon one of the key differences between a woman and a crazy bitch is understanding when it’s appropriate and inappropriate to use your skills of seduction.

A normal woman, for example, might intentionally seduce the man (or woman) she’s interested in, or the person she’s currently involved with. A crazy bitch might try to seduce every guy she meets purely because she likes the attention.

A normal woman might flirt with the guy she likes, to let him know she’s interested in him. A crazy bitch might flirt with the guy she thinks is a complete loser, just to get him to do something for her.

I’m going to assume that you get my point. The big difference between the two sides of the fence is intention. Being seductive is a powerful thing. When you’re powerful, you have to be careful about how you use that power.

Crazy bitch tip: If you’re fortunate enough to be seductive, only use it when your intentions are genuine, and don’t just go around having fun at the expense of others.

Aside

Emma Watson is awesome

23 Feb

Emma Watson is not a crazy bitch. Emma Watson is awesome and she’s doing awesome things.

We all know Emma from her origins as an actor in the Harry Potter films but since her early years as the face of a strong female character, Emma has herself grown into a strong female character. Emma is a wonderful example of a woman, and a great example of the opposite of a crazy bitch.

In the following video, we see Ms Watson speak to the UN about women’s rights.

Importantly, Emma pointed out that feminism shouldn’t be about man-hating. This is an extremely important aspect of the mess that has become of the resurgence of the feminist movement. This is an observation which is lost on far too many women, who instead of looking for ways to help us to move towards the ideal scenario of equality for all, choose instead to blame men as if they’re the cause of any and all inequality that exists.

Emma Watson is a great example of a stunningly beautiful woman who has not rested on her aesthetic advantage. Unlike so many other child actors who go off the rails, become addicted to substances and squander their fortunes. Ms Watson has instead taken the advantages life has provided her and used them as a launching pad to bring positive change to the world.

Note that you don’t tend to hear about Ms Watson having tantrums or showing off her wealth or having twitter wars over insignificant shit. Isn’t that a wonderful change? That’s just another point in her favour.

Crazy bitch tip: Take a leaf out of Emma’s book.

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