Tag Archives: beauty

Snog, Marry, Avoid

1 Feb

Some women go overboard with their ‘style’. Snog, Marry, Avoid is an effort to resolve that.

Crazy bitch tip: When your own children are telling you you’re wearing a bit too much make up, you might want to listen to them.

There’s more than one way to be beautiful

31 Jan

I don’t think I’ll ever understand why so many people believe there’s only one way to be considered beautiful.

90s black culture

When I was growing up in the 90s, there was a big influx of ‘black music’ from America. There was heaps of R&B and hip hop and rap started taking over the airwaves. The singers and rappers in the video clips for these songs were, of course, black guys and it wasn’t long before any guy with the slightest bit of darkness to his skin was suddenly a hot commodity in the teenage dating scene. It was always funny to me watching my Indian mates start playing it up and taking on all these American black-guy traits, but hey, good luck to them, they were getting the girls that way. It was downright hilarious to me at the time though, watching my lighter skinned buddies starting to act like gangsters and wearing all the garb that was popular in the hip hop videos at the time. My friends didn’t quite go these extremes but you get the idea…

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Now, these pics are pretty funny because these guys have gone waaaaaaay overboard. They look foolish. They don’t realise that they in no way resemble their hip hop heroes or that their efforts towards that come off as unbelievably lame. If these guys were just being themselves, they wouldn’t have ended up having their photos lambasted all over the internet, and that’s the point I’m getting at… You can still be attractive even if you don’t look like whatever the current trend is.

The confusion continues

That whole ‘white guys trying to be black’ thing is still going, but it’s not quite as bad as it was at its peak. In fact, some blokes like Eminem managed to blow through the boundaries and just like Elvis before him, found a way to commercialise the urge for young white guys to want to be black. Anyway, it seems there’s a different version of this ‘wanting to be like someone else’ dominating the world at the moment. This version is generally amongst the ladies and is the urge to dress, look, and act like dumb white bitches.

I’m going to assume that this is mostly because the most famous women in the world are movie stars or American ‘celebrities’, and most of these women are white skinned, have fair hair and light coloured eyes. This appears to have generated the confusion that a beautiful women must have light skin, thick lips, a petite nose, light coloured eyes, blonde hair and no normal human imperfections. Sure, there are many beautiful women out in the world who do fit that stereotype and lots of guys are attracted to them, but that doesn’t mean it’s the only way to be attractive!

Check out these ladies trying to look like someone they’re not..

There’s no denying some of these women look pretty good, but most of them are looking prettttttty badddd. And that’s the way it usually goes. You get a few people who are able to pull off a look different to their natural look because they happen to have features that make it work, but most people just can’t get away with it and it ends up looking comical. Mind you, fashion makes no sense to me. Sometimes looking awful is the trend and everyone just goes along with it. I don’t get that shit either.

Anyshways, what I’m trying to say is that you can look good without fucking with your face and your hair and without bolting on a pair of inflato-tits. You can be beautiful by playing to your strengths. If you’re not naturally blonde haired and blue eyed, don’t try to be. Instead, take advantage of what you’ve got.

What not to do

And here’s why… [warning: there’s some gross footage in this one]

Be real

Yes, there are beautiful women with blonde hair and blue eyes, but there are a billion other ways to be beautiful.

I’ve said quite clearly before that I don’t know shit about fashion. I do, however, know that these women are friggin gorgeous. Obviously these women are blessed with some outstanding genes, but they’ve got something else going for them too… they’re not trying to be someone they’re not.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t dye your hair or straighten it or put on some makeup or whatever. Go for your life! But when you hit the point that you’re trying to hide what you actually look like and fake yourself off as someone else, that’s going too far. So cut down on the plastic surgery andĀ  have a go at taking advantage of your natural beauty. Guys aren’t as stupid as some of you girls seem to think, we can see that you’re good looking even if you’re not the type of good looking that happens to be on TV at the moment. I can’t speak for every guy on the planet but I know that I personally find a woman who’s comfortable with how she looks and who she is to be a gazillion times more attractive than a bleach blonde, fake tanned, wearing all the trendy bullshit kind of woman.

I know for sure that heaps of guys like exotic women. You can’t be exotic if you’re busy trying to look like everyone else now, can ya? Crazy bitch tip: stop trying to be someone you’re not

There’s a reason we don’t call them intelligence pageants

5 Dec

I’m not going to say that any of these contestants are crazy, or that any of them are bitches. What I am going to say is that I can imagine a lot of people reacting to seeing these next incidents by thinking to themselves “that bitch is crazy”.

Now, that’s not nice and maybe we shouldn’t judge how people react under pressure in front of millions of people via live television, but I bet you it happened at least once for every one of these.

Crazy bitch tip: It’s better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.

Jealousy is ugly

2 Oct

People are competitive. That’s part of what got us to the moon. It’s a big part of the reason we have people that can do awesome things that seem like they should be impossible. For example:

For the record, this was the least ‘T&A’ focused video I could find of women doing awesome shit, and that sort of ties in with what I wanted to write about today.

Most people are average looking, that’s exactly what average means. Some people are good looking, which is a nice little bonus in life but doesn’t really help anyone all that much in the grand scheme of things. But then you get the model-level good looking people. They’re people who are so good looking, it’s distracting. For some people, seeing a model-level good looking person makes them self-conscious, and that makes them angry at the model-type person. That anger has a few names but most people know it either as envy or jealousy.

Envy and jealousy are very ugly traits which often trigger people’s built-in drive to compete. I’m no shrink but I’d have to think both jealousy and envy come from insecurity. Insecurity, envy and jealousy can be very ugly traits when they’re revealed to the world. And I mean, downright repulsive.

“Too pretty”

There are two young women in Argentina that showed just how ugly jealousy can become and they really pushed themselves into crazy-bitch territory in doing so. See, these two teenage girls had seen 15 year oldĀ Julia Alvarez around town and came to the conclusion that Julia was so attractive, she was ‘too pretty’. What the hell does that mean?

Well, to these girls, Maira (16) and Flor (18), ‘Too pretty’ meant they found Julia so threateningly attractive, they would need to alter her appearance to make her less competitive in the looks department. These two teenaged girls stepped over the threshold into psycho-land when they decided to become knife wielding attackers who told Julia “Everyone says you are pretty. You won’t look pretty when we have finished with you. People will call you Chucky.“, a reference to the character of the same name from the horror movie, Child’s play.

Chucky

Sure, you could use logic and realise that at most, Julia was probably only going to get involved with one guy at a time, maybe even two, leaving the other 3 billion or so available, but that’s useless rational thinking, and there’s no room for rationality in the minds of knife wielding psycho-bitches hell-bent on eradicating beauty from the world. So instead of accepting that there are, in fact, people out there in the world who are better looking than themselves, Maira and Flor used their knives to slash the flesh of a beautiful young woman, over and over, until they were satisfied she was no longer more beautiful than them.

I’ve chosen not to include the more graphic images of Julia’s injuries from the attack, but this one gives you some idea how vicious the attack was.

One of these cuts required 20 stitches alone.

One of these cuts required 20 stitches.

The more gruesome the images are available in this Daily Mail article, but be warned, they’re not pleasant.

Personality matters more

Maira and Flor cut Julia because they thought doing so would make them comparatively more attractive than her. This is solid evidence that they’re very, very confused about what really matters when it comes to being attractive. Most people can get past looking at a scar or two but it’s a lot more difficult to get past the fact that your romantic interest has a bad history of getting jealous and putting knives into people. The fact that these two horrid little trolls couldn’t figure that out for themselves is evidence that they already had very unattractive personalities and the fact that they went through with it makes them about as ugly as you can get.

If you feel threatened by how attractive other people are, that’s because you lack self-confidence. Get out there and start doing what you love and find a way to be so happy about who you are. Focus on having an awesome personality because your personality will stick around a lot longer than your looks. I can’t speak for everyone else but I know personally that I find an average looking woman with an awesome personality far more attractive as a partner than a supermodel with the personality of a goldfish.

Sure, good looks turn heads, but good personalities win hearts.

Don’t

For the sake of the rest of us, please don’t fall into the trap of thinking that looks are something to compete on. Fashion is a competitive world and look how that turns out:

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So let’s not go jumping on board that train too damned quick. Yes, it’s nice to look good. Yes, good looking people get a few advantages in life but they also sometimes get attacked by knife-wielding psychopaths, so it’s not all roses. You probably look just fine, and even if you don’t, remember that pretty much everyone ends up finding someone who loves them.

I bet this dude has a HUGE personality.

I bet this dude has a HUGE personality.

Some people can see past physical shortcomings.

Even his friend is happy to see they’re finally ready to show their love to the world.

Crazy bitch tip: If you think there are people out there who are ‘too pretty’, put the knife down and speak to a shrink.

Curvy

14 May

I find women with curves attractive. Despite movies, tv and magazines implying the opposite, most guys find women with curves attractive. Sure, you might run in to a guy here and there who is only into stick figures and you might find the equivalent guys who are attracted to the mega-ladies who are on the super-thick end of the spectrum but just about every guy out there can appreciate a shapely women.

When I say shapely, this is what I’m talking about:

Sexy and shapely

And I think this meme sums things up nicely:
Not overweight, just curvy

But somewhere along the way, some confusion has crept in. The media started indicating that male Homo Sapiens are after bags of bones wrapped so tightly in skin that we can see every bone, muscle and tendon. Young women see this shape everywhere and think it’s standard issue:

Bag of bones

Like I said, there are some guys that are going to be attracted to a woman who looks like this but there’s a pretty creepy crossover between guys who are only attracted to women this skinny and guys who end up getting locked away for not respecting the laws relating to the age of consent. Even if I’m wrong and more guys are into this look than I realise, that doesn’t make it healthy and we end up with young girls looking like this as a result:

ANOREXIA

When I see someone this thin, the last thing I’m thinking about is attraction. I want to drag her to the nearest eatery and feed her. I want to put her on a drip. I can’t even remotely understand how anyone possibly could be attracted to someone a human body so near to death.

Brazil seems to be going the other direction. There’s a serious trend towards curviness over there and when you take a look at the winner of miss Bum Bum Brazil 2012 here, you can certainly see there’s good reason for that.

Miss BumBum Brazil 2012

Of course, that’s lead to its own problems. Plastic surgery is a booming industry in Brazil and some of the procedures are pretty insane as far as I’m concerned. The two procedures that are doing my head in are butt implants and silicone injections.

Butt implants don’t seem to work out too well…

And silicone injections might be even worse…

I’m a guy, so I don’t really know the pressure that women are under to be attractive but I can tell pretty well what looks healthy and what does not. Generally speaking, looking healthy correlates quite a bit with being attractive. Instead of starving yourself to death or having your body cut open and things stuffed inside it to give you extra lumps, maybe it’s worth considering just having a healthy lifestyle and accepting that there are guys out there who like all sorts of body shapes.

One last thing though, it’s important to accept your body for what it is, but that doesn’t mean that you should go disregarding reality and trying to adjust the meaning of words to make yourself feel better. For example, this lady is sorely mistaken.

Beautiful?

Crazy bitch tip: Tell yourself that being obese is beautiful as much as you want, it’s not going to convince anyone to be more attracted to you and it’s not going to make you any healthier.

 

 

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