Tag Archives: boss

Origins #15

19 Jun

Picking up where I left off, I was figuring out the best way to ask out my boss’s daughter after she’d spent the night at my place. Look, to be completely honest, I can’t remember if I asked Rene out on the Sunday evening or waited ’til Monday. I think it was Sunday but gimme a break ok, it was nearly 5 years ago.

Actually, part of the reason I’m trying to write this all down is so I’ve got a half accurate version of the events that took place before I forget them all. The tough part is that it was a downright awful experience to go through, so it’s not exactly fun trying to remember it in fine detail. Anyway…

Time to ask Rene out

Unlike her sister Laura, Rene didn’t work at Everlong, so I wouldn’t be seeing her in person anytime soon. I guess I could have called her, but we’d never called each other before and after the somewhat dramatic turn of events the weekend had become, I wasn’t inclined to fall into a super awkward conversation on the phone. I instead went the SMS route. I spent a bit of time thinking about what to write, but in the end I just said exactly what I was thinking. It was something like:

Hey, wanna catch up sometime this week? Friday got a bit full on, so I reckon we find something nice and chill to do and just hang out.

Then came the always fun waiting for the response phase of the sms communication medium. I have at times stressed out like crazy while waiting for a response to a message like that, but I don’t think I was that stressed about this one. I figured that after Rene literally demanded that I ask her out, the odds were in my favour. Even if she said no, that would be a way out of a hugely complex situation anyway, so it was kinda win, win.

The response is in

Pretty quickly after sending my message to Rene, my phone uttered that classic Nokia sms received tone. Rene’s response was in: Yes. Sounds good. How about Wednesday night? Hey, hey! That was what I wanted to hear. Straight forward. Easy. No fuss. No confusion. Fantastic! And there I was fretting about it being a big deal and making what was already an extremely complicated time in my life even more complicated. Phew! excellent I can’t claim that is 100% exactly what Rene sent, but I remember very clearly that she used the word “Yes” and not “yeah” or “ok”, but specifically the word “yes”. It’s a weird detail to remember but it stuck with me because it seemed kind of formal. Not that it bothered me. Quite the opposite, actually. “Yes” seemed like the best possible answer.

Like I said before, it was a pretty huge thing for me to admit to Rene that I liked her and it had put me in a really weird situation, so it really was a big relief to get that message back and to know that we were still on the same page. I figured we’d just let things play out and see what happens.

Monday always comes around to spoil the weekend

Monday shows up too early as always and this one was particularly unwanted because it meant facing whatever assumptions my colleagues had made about the fact that I left the restaurant with Rene. And assume they did. I always got into work nice and early, about 7:30, so I could get out early to get to the shops and whatever, so I was at my desk before anyone else arrived for the day.

One by one they came in, each with the same insinuations about me having to worry about my job because I obviously had sex with the boss’s daughter and her dad would find out and fire me. Each time I had to explain that nothing untoward had happened, that Rene had fallen asleep on my couch and that was the full extent of the evening’s adventures. innocent Yeah, I was lying, but I was lying specifically because I’d been asked to by Rene. I don’t like lying. I don’t like secrets. I don’t like whispering. I don’t like gossip. I certainly don’t like having to intentionally mislead people I work with all day, every day, who I considered friends, but I’d been asked to, so I lied.

The news spread quickly that Rene had stayed over at my place and I started getting emails from the girls at the other office. I spent more time trying to politely disregard inquiries about my supposed sexual escapades with my boss’s daughter than working that morning. I was already stressed out with everything else. The last thing I wanted was to be the focal point of all that gossip. It’s not like I had any choice, though. After Mike had seen us walking back to Rene’s car there was little choice but to come up with an explanation and stick to it.

Rene’s parents were overseas

Someone had told me on Friday night that Tim Everlong and his wife were away for two weeks. That knowledge at least was one minor positive in what I was expecting to be an increasingly complex situation. If nothing else, at least I’d have a bit of time to let everything settle before they’d be back and asking questions. Or so I thought. wrong Rene’s parents may well have been away for two weeks but not long after lunch, as a complete surprise to me, Rene’s father Time Everlong comes strolling into the open plan office in which I worked. I’m sure I’ve mentioned before that Tim was a very friendly bloke who would roam around chatting with us all and making jokes and generally being the sort of company owner that you dream of having. This unexpected visit was no exception, except that this time I was crapping my dacks expecting him to fire me any second, but he spent so much time joking around with everyone that I started to relax a bit.

Did everyone have a good Friday night?

The fact that he hadn’t spoken to me directly was a bit of a cause for concern but I started to assume he hadn’t heard anything and that it’d surface another day and I’d deal with it then. What a relief! At least that had worked out in my favour for now. After Tim had done his rounds of talking to every single person in that office except me, he headed towards the door not far from my desk. I figured he was about to leave.

Sure he hadn’t spoken to me personally but that was no big deal, totally just a coincidence, and frankly I would have been very uncomfortable trying to talk to him with full knowledge of what I’d gotten up to with his daughter over the weekend while he was none the wiser. But as Tim got the door he didn’t say goodbye, as anticipated. No. Instead, Tim turned and looked at me directly for the first time that visit and said in a very loud voice,

“So, did everyone have a good Friday night?”

The entire room went silent. Every eye in the place was aimed directly at me, including Tim’s, who were locked on mine, which had instantly widened to the size of saucers. I’m not sure how long passed as the owner of the company I worked for, who was under the impression that I’d fucked his little princess’s brains out a few days prior, eyeballed me, but it felt like about a decade or so. Tim eventually turned away and walked out through the open doorway.

SMH

A pregnant pause had consumed the entire place and brought with it an ominous silence.  That silence was broken by the thump of my forehead against my desk. headdesk Milliseconds after the sound of my noggin colliding with my grey, generic office desk had reverberated through that  office, the whole place erupted with laughter so raucous I was surprised the windows didn’t blow out. laughing-at I sat and shook my head while the whole office laughed their arses off at me. I was the unwilling star of a sit-com and my colleagues were providing the laugh track. mj-smh

Next time…

So that was how Monday went, I’ll be back to tell you how the rest of that ridiculous week played out. Trust me, this is only the start of my personal sit-com hell.

Origins #11

3 Mar

I was still there in my bed with my boss’s daughter, and I was proud of myself for admitting that I had a crush on her instead of holding that information back and leaving her to cry in the belief that I just wanted to sleep with her. If you’ve read up to here, I’m sure you think it’s a bit weird that she somehow thought I was just trying to sleep with her considering I’d put in a fair bit of effort to avoid having anything happen with her, but hey, I was pretty drunk and that didn’t occur to me at the time.

Oops

Something I have remembered since posting last time was that, at some point after Rene and I had arrived at my place, I’d asked her about her sister Laura’s relationship. I’d pointed out that it seemed like something was off there. Rene told me she didn’t know much about it and seemed a bit down about me asking. Turns out Rene knew more than she was letting on and had taken my curiosity as further evidence of her belief that I was interested in Laura.

In hindsight, I guess that was another reason why Rene was so certain I was into Laura. I was into Laura. I’d say I liked her about as much as I liked Rene, but in a different way. It’s tough to explain because I knew Laura much better than Rene. I’ll tell you right now though, most guys would be falling all over themselves to get anywhere near either of these young women, but up until this particular night I’d done a brilliant job of behaving myself around both of them.

You have to ask me out on a proper date!

Anyways, I’d just finished admitting to Rene that I’d had a crush on her for a long time and she’d lit up with joy at hearing it. It’s not like I confessed to having an undying love for her, either. I’d only told her that I’d liked her for a long time and that I wanted to get to spend some time with her and get to know her better but Rene reacted like all her Christmases had come at once and we kissed some more as a result.

Rene stopped crying again and we went back to kissing and whatnot but we were still talking the whole time, and she started telling me how she’d made all these moves on me and asked why I’d never made any moves back. Rene pointed out that she had added me on Facebook, got my work email and started emailing me, gotten my mobile number from her sister and started texting me and even after all of that, I still hadn’t asked her out.

I told her, “You’re my boss’s daughter.”
“So?”, she asked.
“So I need my job”, I explained.
“But you never even asked me out”, she insisted.
“I’m not going to hit on my boss’s daughter. I invited you out to everything and I just figured that was as much as I could do, but you hardly ever came to anything”, I pointed out.
“But you never asked me out on a proper date, just the two of us!”, Rene said.
“I figured you could tell I was interested. You knew I couldn’t ask you out, I figured you’d ask me out if you wanted to see me.”, I told her.
“I was pretty sure that night you told me my ex in France was an idiot. But you have to ask me out now! You have to ask me out on a proper date!”, she told me, practically bouncing up and down with excitement.
“Alright. I’ll ask you out on a proper date.” I told her.

Rene was grinning ear to ear and kissing me with some serious passion after that, but even as drunk as I was, it all sounded like a weird way to go about it to me. I mean, we were in bed with each other and there she was demanding that I ask her out on a date? It’s not like I would have minded asking her out, but we were well past the ‘asking out’ stage of things.

But I’d been drinking, and she’d been drinking, and the whole thing was a bit of a mess. So I figured, if she wanted me to ask her out, I’d ask her out.

Drunken singing

We were making out and laughing and having all the stupid, drunken fun you tend to have when you’ve been drinking all night with someone you’re interested in. We started talking about all sorts of things, like the music we like and what we loved about the 90s and probably a bunch of other shit that I honestly can’t remember.

I do remember that we laid out in that bed playing songs off our phones and singing along to them between kissing and touching, and more singing, and more kissing, and more singing. At one point, I’m loathe to admit, I grabbed my ukulele from beside my bed and tried to play a tune for us to sing to, but I was too drunk to play, so gave up on that idea pretty quick.

It might sound lame, but of everything that happened that night, singing along to those songs together was my favourite bit. I was digging that we had so much in common. There was something awesome about being in bed with this girl I’d liked for so long and that we’d ended cuddled up, singing along to John Farnham songs, and making out like teenagers.

The Roller Coaster Continues

emor

Unfortunately, it wasn’t too long before Rene started crying again.

“You want something serious, don’t you”, she sobbed.
“What are you talking about?”, I asked her.
“You said you want something serious”, she repeated.
“No I didn’t, I said I want to hang out with you a bit and get to know you”, I explained, confused.
I continued, saying, “I couldn’t even think about getting into something serious anytime soon. I just want to hang out with you under the radar, get to know you properly and see what happens.”

And that was the absolute truth of the matter. I wasn’t looking to go from zero to 100 with her. Shit, I didn’t think I really knew Rene well enough to think anything beyond maybe going on a date with her. I wasn’t thinking about the future, aside from the very risky situation I was going to be in from a work perspective.

Like I said in an earlier post, all I was really looking for was to get to hang out with someone I thought was cool. I thought Rene was cool, so now we could get onto the hanging out with each other part, and eventually I’d get to know her well enough to see if there was something more than a basic attraction.

I lie to people and confuse them until they stop asking questions

Rene calmed down again and stopped crying.

We continued to talk, and I truly cannot remember how we ended up getting to this, but at one point Rene explained to me that she was an exhibitionist.

OK, so I’m with this girl I think is gorgeous and she’s already indicated to me that she likes things a bit rough in bed, and then she tells me she’s an exhibitionist. I was surprised to hear that but I was also very excited. I don’t think I’m a pervert, but I sure  am a very, very sexual person, and one aspect of that is that I like to do things that are a bit risqué. I definitely don’t want the girl I’m with to be skanky by any means, but that doesn’t mean she can’t be a bit naughty and fun, so to hear that this girl who I genuinely liked for other reasons was also a bit naughty was a huge added bonus.

And then Rene told me that she thinks she’s nowhere near as good as her sister Laura, that Laura has her shit together and that she’s doing so well, and Laura’s so pretty, and Laura’s this and that and whatever else. I, of course, tried to point out to Rene that she’s pretty awesome herself and shouldn’t compare herself to Laura, but Rene responded by telling me that she makes mistakes all the time and ruins things.

I don’t really remember exactly what she said, but I know Rene told me that she was still in contact with the guy she’d moved to France to be with, even though he’d cheated on her and she’d moved back to Australia broken hearted, she had kept in contact with him. Not only had she kept in contact with him, she was now playing the role of mistress behind the back of this douchebag’s new girlfriend.

I remember telling her, “Well, stop that shit, then!”

Again, I’m not sure how we got onto this, but Rene ended up telling me that she makes a lot of mistakes and it really upsets her. I don’t remember much of the conversation but I do remember her telling me, “I lie to people and confuse them until they stop asking questions.”

Idiot

Trust me, I know very well that I should have taken these things as red flags. I know I’m an idiot for not doing so at the time, but I was drunk and as far as I knew, I was with a beautiful, intelligent, fun, sexy young woman who happened to be going through a rough time and also happened to be full of red wine and cocktails.

Everybody says stupid shit when they’ve been drinking, so I wasn’t judging her for any of what she said. I guess I did take some of those statements on board though, as I certainly kept an eye out for certain things she’d mentioned about herself in the months to come. You’ll hear all about that soon enough.

But it’s not like Rene was the only one saying or doing stupid shit that night. I was on a roll, myself.

I’d managed to completely miss the fact that Rene was worried that I was interested in Laura and had contributed to making her cry as a result, repeatedly as the night went on.

I’d drunkenly pushed my boss’s daughter up and down some serious hills in a freakin’ shopping trolly, the most dangerous of all vehicles. I’d let the night get out of hand by not staying sober. I’d ended up in bed with my boss’s daughter, for fuck’s sake. I hadn’t stopped it and called her a taxi, I hadn’t told her we shouldn’t do anything, I hadn’t walked out of the room when she flashed me. I’d done a lot of stupid shit that night myself.

But I had one more awesomely stupid thing to say.

I totally understand why I said it, but that doesn’t mean I actually understand why I said it. Oh god. I actually have to tell you what I said. Ahh fuck it!, here goes…

I don’t exactly remember when but at one point in the night when I was in bed with Rene, I half whispered: “I want kids.”

I know.

embarrased

I know it was a moronic thing to do, but if you remember from Origins #7, I’d been talking with Rene’s sister earlier that day about how important it was to let people know what you want out of life before you get involved with them, and I didn’t mean that I wanted kids with Rene, I just meant that, at some point in my future, I’d like to be a parent. And somehow, as a result of all that rational logical, sense-making, I was pretty drunk and it just came out.

I totally get that it was a stupid thing to do, and even as I write this, I feel very much like this…

shm1Oh lord the shame I feel for admitting that I said that. Let’s never speak of it again. Ahhh shame my old friend, what would life be without you?

You want to know the worst part? I’m pretty sure I said that after Rene had her little freak-out about me wanting something serious. I just don’t know what I was thinking. I do think my little revelation was on the mild side in comparison to admitting to being an exhibitionist, or intentionally confusing people until they give up asking question, or playing the mistress, etc, etc but it was still a really embarrassing thing for me when I was forced to think back on it later.

Nearly there

As it turns out, there’s still a little bit more of that night that I have to tell you about, including more confusion, weird encouragement and weird rejection. Catch ya then!Crazy bitch tip: If you move to another country to be with a guy and he then cheats on you, don’t talk to him anymore because he’s clearly a massive douche.

Origins #9

16 Feb

So, I’d just kissed my boss’s  daughter.

After a long, intense kiss we separated. Rene, who had only seconds before been kissing me back with some serious passion, stopped and said:

“Oh, it’s complicated. Oh my god, it’s so complicated. I’ll have to break it off with [some guy’s name].”
“What do you mean?”, I asked her.
“Who kissed who? Did you kiss me or did I kiss you?”, she asked, ignoring my question in the process.
“I kissed you”, I explained.

I don’t think I’d ever seen her smile quite so fully before as she did when I told her that. It was the same sort of smile you’d expect to see on someone who just won the lottery. Clearly Rene was happy that I’d kissed her. I was too because I thought we could finally cut all the bullshit.

“Oh my god. It’s so complicated.”, Rene said again.

I figured she was talking about the fact that I worked for her father. I was under no illusions as to how complicated it was. I’d had a lot to drink but I knew exactly what I was doing when I kissed her and I knew what I was risking. I avoid drama as best I can, but everyone once in a while, when I think it’s worth the stress, I dive in head first anyway.

I kissed Rene because I thought it was worth it. I felt a real chemistry with her and after all that build up, all the flirtation, and keeping my guard up for so long that she ended up literally crying in my lap because thinking I didn’t like her, I thought it was the right thing to do. Yeah, it was complicated because her father was the owner of the company I worked for and her sister managed my office, but Rene’s family all liked me knew me well enough by that point to know I’d treat her properly. Yeah, it was a risk, but I thought I’d been reasonably careful about the whole thing.

“It’s OK, Rene. It’s really nothing.”, I reassured her.

I remembered that my phone had been going off before we’d kissed. I checked it quickly to find a bunch of messages from Angelica asking if she should come around. For the briefest of moments I considered that threesome I’d been cheekily hinting at earlier at dinner, but common sense prevailed and I replied to Angelica telling her that Rene was in a bad way and I was taking care of her.

“It’s so complicated”, Rene repeated, putting her hands either side of her head.

You don’t have to sleep on the couch

“It’s cool, Rene. We’ve probably just had too much to drink. Let’s just chill out for the rest of the night and figure it all out tomorrow”.

I wasn’t exactly sure what she thought was so complicated, but kissing my boss’s daughter was more than enough drama for one night for me. I wanted to sleep on it and deal with it all in the morning when we were sober, so I explained to Rene that we should call it a night. I offered to pay for a cab but Rene pointed out that she’d have to come back the next day to pick up her car anyway, so it’d be easier for her if she stayed over. I told Rene she that was fine, that she could take my bed and I’d crash on the couch.

“You don’t have to sleep on the couch”, she told me, to which I replied, “I reckon it’s for the best.”

I’d washed my bedclothes earlier that day, so Rene and I had to grab the bedclothes out of the drier and make the bed. She was practically giddy as we dressed the bed. I told her she’d be comfy in the bed and that I was going to take a shower before crashing on the couch. Rene suggested that we could share the bed and that it’d be fine. I reiterated that I didn’t think it was the best idea. Rene seemed to let it go and asked if she could borrow some clothes to sleep in. I grabbed up one of my favourite shirts and a pair of shorts for her, knowing they’d fit her about as well as a tent. Considering I’m 6’3″ and she’s about 5’6″, it was the best I could do.

I told her to get changed while I’m in the shower because I’d have to come back in to grab a few things before heading to the couch. Off I went to have a shower.

I really wasn’t expecting anything to happen that night. I figured the kiss was more than enough, especially considering how complicated Rene seemed to think it all was. Still,  you can be damned sure that I cleaned myself up as if I was getting ready for a date anyway. I double washed everything, especially my fun bits. My semi-intoxicated brain was coming up with all sorts of imaginary scenarios, such as Rene sneaking in and joining me in the shower, and yeah, I definitely liked the thought of something happening but I knew it was a bad idea. But just in case, I not only applied a bit of deodorant, I went the whole hog and applied my favourite aftershave too. Purely precautionary, of course.

I put on my and undies and pyjama pants (they’re not really pjs, just some comfy, loose fitting tracky dacks) and knocked on the door that joins the bathroom to my bedroom.

“Come in”, Rene said through the closed door.

Mere Male

Upon opening the door I was greeted with a sight I was definitely not expecting. There, on my bed, laid my boss’s daughter with a massive grin on her face. That massive grin might have had something to do with the fact that she’d chosen to go without the monstrously huge shorts I’d offered her and was instead in her underwear, and was currently pulling the shirt I’d provided her all the way up to her neck to ensure I got a full view of her ridiculously beautiful breasts. I want to make this clear, I’ve seen plenty of boobs in my time and I’m not easily wowed.

Rene’s were so astonishing that I blanked out for a second and came back too as I slid head first across my bed, face first into Rene’s stunning northern territory.

slide

I had a few twinges of “Hey! What are you doing???!!!! THIS IS A BAD IDEA!!!” firing off in my head, but that background noise was easily drowned out by the sounds of the horn section from the heavens. Honestly, I know I sound ridiculous but think about it from my perspective. I’d put in a lot of effort to make sure I wasn’t doing the wrong thing, I’d tried to do the right thing at every turn (for the most part) and here in front of me was a stunningly beautiful girl whom I’d had a crush on for quite a while beckoning me into bed with her. I’m a good guy but I can only resist sooooo much.

Don’t worry though, you’ll get to laugh at my foolishness as the story unfolds, you can be sure of that.

mistake

Heavy petting

Look, I’m not going to go into heaps of detail here. I’d prefer to leave it at the phrase ‘heavy petting’, but some of the details become relevant later on, so I’ll have to fill you in on them, but I’ll do that in the next installment of my ridiculous story.

Crazy bitch tip: Don’t hook up with your father’s employee unless you’ve thought it through, and especially don’t do so when you’re already seeing someone else.

Origins #6

17 Jan

So, last time, I was telling you about how everything seemed to be escalating. It really was. It was such a strange time for me. Things seemed to be going equal parts good and bad at the same time. The good parts were off the charts in the good way, and the bad parts were off the chart in the opposite direction. There was very little middle going on.

Goodbye to my car

I forgot to mention earlier on that I was now stuck without a car to get around in. That might not be a big thing where you’re from, but in Perth, that means you’re pretty well screwed. The public transport here will get you where you want to go but it’ll take an inordinately long time. As an example, some mates asked me to fill in for their sports team for the night. I’d normally get to the stadium in half an hour. On public transport it took me an hour and a half, and someone still had to pick me up from the train station! So the round trip was 3 hours to play a 40 minute match. See, I was without a car because, just before I went to Europe, I ran into one of those cops who’s just a cop because it allows him to get away with being a dickhead. There I was driving along in my 1970 Ford Capri doing the speed limit and behaving myself when Officer Cock-Knocker decides he’ll show off to the new recruit partner by pulling me over and having a bit of fun with the fact the has a uniform and a badge and I don’t.

Look at that terrifying death trap. Better pull him over.

Look at that terrifying death trap. Better pull him over.

I pull over when the blue lights flash behind me and Mr Plod is on the attack straight away “What are you doing with this Capri?”, “Is this vehicle stolen?”. “Of course not”, I tell him, “I’ve owned this car for 5 years”. I’m pretty confused why he’s asked such an attacking question to start proceeding. Then he fires out  “This is a British car, why does it have an Australian spoiler on the back?”

Ahhh…. It starts to make sense. Between the accent and these questions it occurs to me he’s English, and he likes his English cars. I explain that this is an Aussie built Capri and the spoiler was an option here. He ignores that bit of rationality and continues pointing out things he doesn’t like about my car. Not things that are illegal or make it unroadworthy, just things he doesn’t like. He asks me why I’ve got bigger brakes than standard and I make the mistake of informing him that I’m going to replace the original V6 motor with a V8.

His whole face went red! I thought steam was going to come out his ears!

It turns out this particular Englishman was a huge Cosworth fan and the idea of me modifying an original Ford Capri GT with anything but Cosworth parts was sacrilege to him. He ranted at me about how “You can’t just modify a piece of motoring history however you want!”, and “You’re disrespecting the British legacy of the Capri!”. All the while I’m just thinking, “Mate, this is my car, I’ll do what I bloody well want with it.”

I was slowly converting the Capri into a race car but the changes I’d made at that point were all to improve safety of the car for the road. Bigger brakes so I can stop in shorter distances, wider tyres for more grip, new seats that actually go further than half way up my back, a limited slip differential to reduce traction problems, etc, etc. All those changes will come in handy once the car is relegated to track use only, but in the meantime I had a car that was much safer to drive on the road than it was when I bought it.

Mr Uniform didn’t give two shits about how much those changes improved the car from a safety perspective. He was unnervingly irate at the fact that I had dared modified a classic Capri and was being weirdly aggressive in his posturing. His rookie colleague seemed a bit put-off by it all too but said nothing. Mr Blue Lights tells me he’s heard enough and tells me I’m getting a Yellow Sticker.

A Yellow Sticker is a defect notice which requires you to take your car to the licensing department for an evaluation. It costs a few hundred dollars to and you only get 10 days to have it done. If you don’t get it done you can’t drive the car on the road anymore. The awesome part was that this happened about 2 days before I was going to Europe and I had absolutely no time to get the car to the pits for the check, so when I got back from Europe, I had a car I wasn’t allowed to drive.

Once I got back I did take the car to the pits but the guys there are really pedantic and you’re not going to get a car from 1970 past them without a shit-tonne of work being done on it. It’s difficult enough to get a modern car past the pits, and even though the mechanic that was looking over my car was quite complimentary about the condition of it, he pointed out things like the headlights not meeting modern brightness requirements and things like that, and it just worked out that it would cost more money to keep the old girl on the road than it would to get the new engine in and get all the other work I’d been planning done. Doing it that way I could kill two birds with one stone by getting it all done at the same time. I sent the Capri off to my mates to get the work done but it was going to take months.

So that left me without a car.

I love that car. I love that she’s a conversation starter. I love that people smile when they see her coming down the road, and that kids get wide eyes and ask their Dad what it is. I love that some bloke literally tried to negotiate buying it off me as we drove down the freeway as he yelled from his car through my passenger window telling me that he’s always wanted one. I love how well that 40 year old engine sounds as she out accelerates more modern cars with ease. But more than all that, I just loved being able to get around and it really, really sucked to have to go without my own mode of transport.

Goodbye favourite band

Ever heard of the band Powderfinger? If you’re not from Australia, the answer is probably a big, fat nope. That’s a damned shame because they were an absolutely fantastic band.

For a long time there, Powderfinger was my favourite band. They dominated the charts here in Australia for over a decade by putting out 5 #1 albums in a row, and by taking out Triple J’s Hottest 100 2 years in a row. They even got 4 albums in Triple J’s 100 Australian albums of all time, including getting 2 albums in the top 10 and taking out the top spot. That’s right, Australia voted Powderfinger’s album Odyssey Number Five as their favourite Aussie album of all time. Personally, I don’t even rate Odyssey Number Five as their best album and I don’t really care about all the awards they got, I just love their music and I was completely gobsmacked by their ability to reach in and touch that indefinable thing that is being Australian.

I can’t explain it. I just know they captured something intangible about Australia and that era and somehow translated it in a way that hit me in a way very few other bands have managed.

My favourite Powderfinger album is Internationalist. It came out in 1998, when I was a little 19 year old pizza delivery boy. It might sound strange, but I learned a lot from that album. One of the common threads on Internationalist is that of people falling prey to watching their lives slip away, day by day. Internationalist hit me right in my head and stuck there.

Because I was working 60 to 90 hour weeks delivering pizzas at the time, I had a lot of time to listen to music, and Internationalist was in extremely high rotation on my car’s cd player. I think that’s a big part of why I took so much from that album. It influenced the way I thought about the world and how to live and still does right through to today.

I’m a musician myself, and in addition to influencing the way I see the world, Powderfinger has also had a massive influence in the way I approach making music and the sort of music I want to make. It was pretty sad news then, when Powderfinger announced they were calling it quits midway through 2010. As is the way with the retirement of musical acts in Australia in recent history, though, they decided to do a farewell tour. It was particularly disheartening for me at the time because they weren’t over the hill, they’d put out a stellar new album called Golden Rule just a few months beforehand. Anyway, I was really disappointed they were calling it a day, but at least I had my ticket to see them one last time. I’m not sure if anyone else will relate to being so horribly bummed out by their favourite band breaking up, but it was big deal to me.

Hopefully it’ll make sense why I’m telling you about this as the story progresses.

Goodbye great manager

Before Gus the devil monster, demon manager came on board, my team had been lead by a really nice bloke. His name was Mike Monarch. Mike’s a bloody champ.

Under Mike’s leadership we’d developed a system that was bringing in about $2,000,000 a year for Everlong. That’s a pretty damned good outcome considering our team was only 5 people at the time. After that project, Everlong decided to chase a few ‘big leads’. One of these big leads was a tender for a massive contract with a mining company. Getting all the documentation in for a tender like that is a massive amount of work and Mike was shifted over to that project and my team was left twiddling our thumbs.

There were good points to being left to our own devices. One of which, was that I had the chance to write some software to make maintaining that million dollar system much simpler. Another was that there was very little stress at work. The downside, however, was that our team couldn’t work on the projects we wanted to (projects which we believed would help make the company money) because we nobody in the team had any authorisation to lead us.

I would often lead the team to do simple little projects. They were just little proof-of-concept projects to show that we were able to create things that we believed were able to bring in an income and we could knock them out in a few days, so I wasn’t concerned with getting in any trouble for taking over the team. But to really do anything worthwhile, like redeveloping the system to work properly on mobile devices for example, we’d need to spend months in development. I wasn’t getting paid to lead the team and I didn’t want to be blamed for taking over the team and doing whatever I felt like, so instead of being unified and progressing projects, we each worked on whatever we thought would be useful.

In hindsight, I really should have taken over the team but I’m just not the sort of guy to go trying to steal power. Everyone would always come to me for guidance anyway and I’d been in the industry long enough to know the right moves. The years that have passed since have well and truly proved that I was on the right track, but hindsight is 20/20 and there ain’t much I can do about it now.

Mike realised we needed someone to lead the team while he was away, so Everlong advertised for a project manager, and in came Gus. What a talented imposter he must have been to get that job! I didn’t like him from the get-go but everyone thought he was ok, so I tried to convince myself I was wrong about him and just get on with my job.

Man, was I an idiot to not trust my gut! It wasn’t long before Gus had started manipulating everyone in the office. He was triggering in-fighting by making underhanded comments and blaming them on other people. He was sucking up to Tim Everlong. He was sneaking his way into the Everlong family’s trust and quietly bad-mouthing Mike and complaining about how little we had to show for the recent months. He was blaming Mike specifically for the lack of productivity and he must have done a pretty good job because Mike was ousted from his job as Gus’s boss, and Gus was given the higher position, leaving Mike in some bullshit demotion job where he was in charge of very little and bombarded with enormous amounts of stress on a daily basis.

Mike went from being a happy, easy-to-talk-to guy who was in good shape and good spirits, to slowly becoming an out of shape, glum, quite, ghost of himself who would occasionally try to force the edges of his face upward into a smile, but was otherwise an automaton with red eyes and a defeated expression.

That was really tough to watch happen to such a nice guy. I would have liked to have done something about it, but we were now under Gus’s complete control, and that was such an unpleasant situation that I was relying on my reserves of patience and ‘just put up with it until Gus actually learns how to do his job’-ness that I didn’t have much time to do much to help Mike.

Goodbye great job

Losing Mike as our manager and having Gus in his place was the key thing that turned my great job into a chore, then into a punishment, and eventually into a torture, but more on that later.

Goodbye Flash

Steve Jobs screwed me over! Well, really Adobe screwed me over and Steve Jobs just chose not to let them screw Apple over too.

See, I was a Flash Developer for a very long time. I did (and still do) work with Javascript, PHP and various other technologies but I had found that Flash was the best technology for the majority of projects I needed to develop in the early years of my career, so I focused on become very, very good at Flash.

At the time I was focusing on Flash development, Flash was available on 99.5% of all internet enabled devices. That made it a pretty safe bet as far as I was concerned. In addition to that, Flash was the only way to achieve all the fancy shit I was trying to build. Back then, if you wanted audio, video, interactivity or animation in your project, your project was going to have to be built in Flash.

For a long time I reaped great rewards by specialising in the use of Flash. I cranked out a lot of work that nobody else in Perth seemed to be able to get anywhere near. At one point I built a complete web browser in Flash! I know this is all nerd-talk but it was really quite cool being one of the top specialists in such a useful technology.

And then the iPhone came out.

The iPhone was the first phone to give you the real internet on your phone. Before that you could maybe read a bit of text from a few specific websites, but the iPhone showed you the actual internet! It showed you the web the same way it looked on your desktop.

Well… almost.

One thing the iPhone didn’t include was Flash. For a while there, that meant that you couldn’t view any videos or animations on your iPhone. Everyone just assumed that Apple would put Flash on the iPhone sooner or later but the iPhone was such a huge deal that many developers were clamouring to make sure their websites could be viewed properly on the magical new devices.

I became quite interesting in the idea of building apps for the iPhone and was trying to chase that up, but Apple won’t let you develop software for their systems unless you use a Mac. I didn’t have a mac and they weren’t keen on buying one at work, so the best I could do was try and find a way to output a Flash app as an iPhone app.

It was right in the midst of this when Gus decided to make us work like maniacs on stupid, useless shit all day everyday. That left me with no time to learn different technologies at work, and so exhausted and dejected when I’d get home from work, that the last thing I wanted to do was more work at my computer at home.

In early 2010, Steve Jobs goes and puts out a letter about why Flash is shit and will never go on any Apple mobile device. The shitty thing about it is, he was absolutely right about those things. And the reason Flash had all those problems was because the company that distributes Flash, Adobe, was more concerned about having Flash everywhere than they were about having Flash be any good. Adobe had bought Flash from another company called Macromedia a few years earlier, and everyone involved in Flash development had pretty major concerns at the time.

Turns out, we were right to be concerned because Adobe really drove Flash into the ground and left Steve Jobs with no choice but to choose not to include it on the iPhone, and in the process completely smashed my specialised skills.

So I owe Adobe a big ‘Fuck you’ and I owe Steve Jobs a punch in the face, because that left me without a specialised skill only a year and a half after the Global Financial Crisis kicked in and ruined the world economy. I therefore owe a lot of shitty bankers a punch in the face too.

The outcome of that situation was that I was pretty stressed about not being able to find another job if that situation was to arise. That’s not a good situation to be in when you’re working for a guy like Gus.

Gathering steam

All of these things had happened in the lead up to the end of September, 2010. All of these things, and everything else I’ve been yapping on about in my previous Origins posts were all coming to a head in September 2010.

September 2010

As I mentioned previously, Rene Everlong had been communicating with me a lot. So much so that her dad, my boss, had mentioned that she brought me up in conversation at family dinners. He pointed out that Rene had challenged me to a match of Wii Tennis and thought I had no hope of beating her. I had, of course, already told Rene that I would demolish her. I’d been playing that game a lot and I was damned good at it. It’s funny thinking back, Tim even seemed a bit perturbed by the fact that Rene and I had been communicating out of work but at the time, I was certain I’d done nothing wrong, so I was in no way concerned about that.

The invitation

Rene had been working at a job her father had gotten for her at a company not too far away from my office. That’s part of the reason she had become a regular visitor at my office, and more specifically, at my desk. Part of Rene working so close by meant that she was being included in any social invitations that were going out to my work crew.

I invited everyone out to see The Expendables, for example, and Rene said she’d come along. I was a bit excited at the prospect of hanging out with her in that scenario and she had been telling me how much she was looking forward to it. Then the night comes and she sends me an sms half an hour before movie time saying that she can’t make. Whatever. I was a bit disappointed I guess but I still got to see all those 80s heroes bumble their way through a terrible plot while stuffing my face with choc bombs, potato chips and soft drink, and laughing my arse off at the ridiculousness of it with the other 7 people from work who had made it along.

Now, I’m sure I mentioned earlier that we had a few social traditions amongst the crew at Everlong. One of them was Tuesday Steak Night at the local pub, and the other was Friday arvo drinks, also at the local pub. Often we’d go for dinner after a Friday afterwork drinks session and take up plenty of seats at any of the many awesome restaurants surrounding our local pub.

The pub we went to was called The Chesterfield. It was a brilliant pub. Cruisy atmosphere, cool staff, cool patrons, great food, great restaurants nearby, easy to get to from work and walking distance from home. What more could a guy ask for?! Rene was well aware of our Friday arvo drinks tradition having come along a few times with her sister for a quiet drink before heading off to whatever fancy evening affair they had planned and leaving us to continue in our merriment sans their company.

One particular week in September, Rene sends me an email from her new job explaining that, while she had only been there about a month, a new guy had come on board, and she thought he was a bit off. She said something about thinking he was suspicious or weird and that she was hoping that, if she brought the people from her work down to The Chesterfield for Friday drinks, I could suss him out.

I don’t know what she expected me to do as far as sussing out this bloke, but if your boss’s daughter implies that someone is making her uncomfortable at her job and asks for your help with that, you say yes, don’t you? I mean, shit, we were going to be at The Chesterfield anyway, what harm could it do to agree to give this bloke a once over and check for any psycho tendencies? So naturally I told Rene telling that her and her colleagues were welcome to join us at The Chersterfield for a few post-work bevvies and that I’d let her know what I think of the new guy she mentioned.

And that was the start of one of the biggest mistakes I’ve ever made.

Next time…

Alrighty, maybe I didn’t quite make it to the night the pin was pulled to the grenade this time, but all of this stuff is really important to the story. Things are really going to start cranking up In Origins #7.

Origins #2

18 Nov

Now where was I?

Oh that’s right… I was telling you about that time I consumed so much absinthe that I nearly died.

So yeah, that was a direct result of my boss’s daughter having spent the night in my bed about two weeks prior.

I know, I know. You don’t sleep with your boss’s daughter.

The thing is, I’m not the sort of guy you need to tell that to. I’m really, really, really, really careful about stuff like that.

I do my level best not to hook up with anyone if it’s going to make things weird and there’s a damned good reason behind that. I hate drama. I absolutely hate it. I avoid drama like it’s the plague and if I can see that a situation might lead to some drama down the line, I’ll stop it in its tracks.

With that said, I have slept with coworkers in the past. But I’ve been cautious about it and completely up front about the situation, so it’s never turned out awkward. If it looks like things are getting weird, I just get together with the girl and we talk it out. Half an hour later any awkwardness that was creeping in has been resolved and we all get to carry on with our lives drama free.

I’ve applied the same approach to “friends with benefits” arrangements too and it’s served me well. It’s so straight forward to me, you just be honest and up front and talk everything through. If one side is after something serious and the other is just after some fun, then it can’t happen because shit will get awkward. If we’re both on the same page though, we get to have some fun and nobody has to worry about any of the bullshit that can come about when the two parties are confused.

I hate drama. I hate secrets. I hate people’s feelings being hurt unnecessarily. So I do what I can to avoid those things.

So how did my boss’s daughter end up in my bed?

Yeah, about that…

The job

It’s not wise for me to use real names here, so we’ll call the business Everlong and we’ll call my boss’s daughter Rene. I met Rene when I started a new job way back in February 2008. I’d been freelancing since 2003 but in 2008 I worked with a client who pissed me off so badly, I decided to quit freelancing altogether just to make sure I never had to deal with them again. Let’s call that client The Department of Infuriation.

So I found a job with Everlong and it was fantastic. The people were unbelievably nice and my pay there was well above market rate. I thought I’d stumbled into a little heaven on earth.

The Boss: Tim Everlong

Rene’s father, Tim, the owner of the company, was really welcoming. He was the sort of guy I always wanted to become: successful, financially comfortable and with a lovely family.

Best of all, though… I didn’t have to deal with clients anymore!

Boss’s daughter #1: Laura Everlong

Tim’s other daughter, Laura, was the manager of the building I worked at. Just like everyone else involved in the whole Everlong operation, she was lovely. Laura was quite the stunningly attractive young woman too and I reckon every guy in the office had a crush on her. You could hardly blame them. Picture dealing with someone like this every day at work…

Picture Laura like this.

Picture Laura like this. Demure, elegant, classy, refined, and downright gorgeous.

Boss’s daughter #2: Rene Everlong

I think I met Rene at the first work function we had. Unlike her sister Laura, Rene is the sort of girl who makes sure you notice her. Where Laura is elegant and classy, Rene is brash and flirtatious. I had a girlfriend at the time who I’d been with for several years, so while I noticed Rene, I wasn’t even remotely thinking about the possibility of anything happen with her.

Like I said though, Rene likes people to know she’s there, and even though I was sitting there with my girlfriend I couldn’t help but get an eyeful of Rene’s physique. It’s not like I was trying to, it’s just that as a straight male you don’t really have a choice in the matter.

This pic is in the ballpark of what we were dealing with…

Picture Rene like this. Flirtatious, overt, attention-demanding and downright sexy.

Picture Rene like this. Flirtatious, overt, attention-demanding, a little bit inappropriate, and above all… sexy.

As the days go by

I’d go into Laura’s office every morning to say hi and we’d end up chatting for ages. I’d say we became pretty good friends, though there was always a clearly defined boundary between boss and employee, I still got away with teasing her and making cheeky remarks when other staff members definitely could not. Laura had a boyfriend, so there was never any concern about anything inappropriate happening. I think we’d both have laughed if anyone ever suggested that we were flirting because it was such a completely benign interaction.

With Rene however, it was a different story. From the outset there were plenty of moments in which it seemed like she was flirting with me, but she knew I had a girlfriend and I knew she was the boss’s daughter, so I was certain I was misinterpreting. It’s funny though, I never once had the same confusion with her sister.

Anyway, Rene was very attractive and the daughter of a millionaire, so I automatically assumed she had a boyfriend. I effectively ignored and dismissed anything that could have been taken as flirtation as friendliness or Rene having a playful personality.

Break up

But then I broke up with my girlfriend. I’d been with my her about 6 years by that point. I remember quite clearly that we broke up January 1st, 2009. New year’s day came in with a crash that year.

I wasn’t massively upset that we’d broken up. It was time for us both to move on. I was the one who effectively called it off, but it was still a big thing to end a 6 year relationship. There’s a whole other story about how things went pear-shaped with that particular ex after we broke up, but I’ll leave that for another time.

Anyway, word got around that I’d broken up with my girlfriend, and suddenly Rene is around the office a lot more. She starts coming over to my desk seemingly at random and talking to me for an hour at a time. I was still under the impression that she had a boyfriend, and she was the boss’s daughter anyway, so I continued to believe this was all just part of the friendly way of the Everlong family. I really never thought anything of it.

I remember thinking how nice Rene was to be so friendly and attentive to me when she often didn’t even need to be at the office. She didn’t work there, after all, she worked at Tim Everlong’s other business way up in the hills, miles and miles away.

Crushing

All this overt friendliness went on for quite some time and somewhere in the middle of it, Laura mentioned that Rene was single and had been for a while. After I found that out, I started to pay more attention to what Rene was doing. It started to register that she might well be flirting with me.

I’d developed a bit of a crush on Rene by this point but like I said earlier, I hate drama, so I had no intention of doing anything about it. Even if Rene was single and actually was interested, I figured she’d be on the hunt for a good looking, wealthy young man closer to her own age. I certainly wasn’t wealthy, I was 7 years older than, and more important that any of that, she was my boss’s daughter and I’d was more interested in keeping this great job than bringing unnecessary drama into my life.

If anything, I was trying to avoid encouraging her. I made sure not to drink at work functions and tried to be as non-flirtatious as possible. Unfortunately though, I have a very cheeky, playful nature, so I don’t know how well I did on that front. I secretly looked forward to the cheeky back and forths I’d have with Rene and I expect that my crush on her did show through despite my best efforts to avoid that.

To be quite honest, I’d also developed a crush on her sister, Laura. This, despite the fact that I knew full well she had a boyfriend. Laura is the sort of girl I always dreamed of being with. She has the rare attribute of elegance, which I find inordinately attractive. As with Rene though, I had no intention of doing anything about it, not only because she was my boss’s daughter, but on top of that she had a boyfriend.

The same line of thinking went for Laura anyway. Even if she happened to end up single, I would have thought her to be well out of my league.

I don’t know who I liked more.

Let me clarify something. When I say I had a crush on both these young women, that’s all I mean. A lot of my colleagues mentioned the same sort of affection for these girls. Frankly, I think it’s just nature. If you’re around attractive members of the gender you’re attracted to, you’re going to end up attracted to them.

If I was around Rene, I found myself attracted to her. When I was around Laura, I was attracted to her. I didn’t stay nights dreaming about sharing a life with either of them. I didn’t even think about them unless they were right there in front of me.

Not to mention, I thought both of these girls were way out of my league. I grew up dirt poor, never got to go to uni and think of myself as pretty average looking. These two girls are the daughters of a millionaire, studied at the best universities around and were absolutely bloody gorgeous. I didn’t see anything coming of my crushes. I just found them both attractive. To me it was a bit like having a crush on a movie starlet, you know nothing’s ever going to happen but that doesn’t change the fact that you like the idea of it.

Jennifer Love Hewitt

I had a crush on Jennifer Love Hewitt too, and thought the chances of anything happening with any of these girls were all about the same.

 

Increased activity

Rene added me on Facebook. Then she started occasionally messaging me, liking my posts, and all that bullshit.

The group of us at Everlong were very social and not long after Rene added me on Facebook, we all went out to dinner. Rene made a point of sitting next to me and chatting with me all night. There were plenty of times I could have sworn she wanted me to lean in and kiss her right there in front of everyone. I was still trying to avoid allowing anything to happen but I was also becoming more and more interested in her.

After breaking up with my ex, I bought a shitty little apartment very near the Everlong building. It was the first and only property I’ve ever owned, and it came with a mortgage which I could handle, but wasn’t particularly comfortable with. Getting my own place was a big deal for me and Rene and I had been talking and joking about it all night at dinner.

After dinner I got up and said goodbye to everyone  but somehow completely missed Rene, so when I got home I sent through a quick message on Facebook to say that it was nice chatting with her.

That Facebook message conversation carried on a fair while. By this point I was pretty sure she was into me and I was sure she was trying to get me to ask her out. Even though I didn’t want any drama, I was struggling with how attracted I was to her, and I’ll cop some drama for something that’s really worthwhile.

Still, I had to tread with caution, so instead of asking her out, I mentioned that it sucked that I didn’t have many friends in the area, knowing full well she lived relatively near by. I wasn’t expecting her to ask me out but I was expecting some sort of remotely positive response. I guess I was testing the waters to see if she would mention that she knows the area and knows a lot of people around there. I was definitely not expecting the conversation to come to a screeching halt, but that’s what happened.

I re-read what I’d said. It was remotely obvious the direction I was going, but there was nothing inappropriate and I’d left her heaps of room to easily to sidestep it if that wasn’t what she was after, but she just flat-out didn’t reply. I received nothing. Bubkus. Zilch. Nada. No response at all.

Done

After about a week with no response I took the silence as an unnecessarily impolite rejection. I remember thinking “well, fuck her, then” and deciding not to waste any time talk to her any more. Like I said earlier, I like things straight-up and clear and lief has enough drama and bullshit of it’s own, so I decided I’d just find another girl.

And that’s what I did. I pretty much completely forgot Rene existed and was out and about seeing different girls and having quite a bit of fun in the process. It’s actually fair to say I was probably having too much fun. I was with a lot of girls in that period of time and none of them were anything other than fuck buddies, really.

I would have been open to more, but I just wasn’t finding that connection I was after and my philosophy is, so long as nobody is getting emotionally hurt, a bit casual sex is a great way to pass some time.

But wait… there’s more

Months later we had another work function. This was one of the big ones with all the staff from both buildings. Rene was there as expected and I avoided her, but she kept coming to sit wherever I was sitting. I’d move away and she’d find me and sit right down beside me and try and get a conversation going.

I was pissed off at her but I figured I shouldn’t be an outright arsehole about it, so I started talking with her politely. Before long we were back to our old cheeky back and forths again and yet again I was sure she was looking at me with that “kiss me” look. With that sort of interaction, I figured I had just misread her lack of response. At the end of the day, it was a facebook message, and who really gives a fuck about Facebook messages?

Still, it was a pretty shitty thing that I was trying to get something happening and she left me hanging. I didn’t know what was happening and I didn’t want to go through that bullshit again, so I decided, if she wants to go out with me, she can ask me out. That way I can’t get in any trouble because I’m not the one being the aggressor.

From that point on, that’s how I played it. I allowed myself to have a crush on her but I wasn’t thinking about her aside from when I’d see her. When she was around I didn’t hide the fact that I was attracted to her but I didn’t ask her out or push for anything in that direction.

Heaven got dark

Remember how I said Everlong was a little slice of heaven on earth? Well, it was when I started but that all changed when they brought in a new project manager for my team. This guy… let’s call him Gus, turned out to be an absolute sociopath. I didn’t realise that at the time though.

I didn’t understand that what he was doing was slowly trying to break my spirit, and the spirit of everyone else in the team. I didn’t recognise that he wasn’t interested in us doing a good job. I didn’t recognise that he was only interested in making himself look good to the owner of the company, so that Tim would give him more power and control over us, and eventually more of the company.

If you want to get a picture of Gus going in your head, think of Gustavo Fring from Breaking Bad…

Yep, he’s just like the guy with the box cutter, minus the murder (as far as I know, though it wouldn’t surprise me).

I also didn’t realise there is a name for what Gus was doing. It’s called workplace bullying and harassment. See, Gus would assign me impossible tasks and then complain that I hadn’t done them well enough. I’m a bit of a perfectionist and I hate falling short of what I’ve been assigned, so sometimes I’d actually manage to achieve the ridiculous things he’d demand, but even when I did, there was no thanks, no credit, no reward. There was just another impossible task lumped on me to achieve.

In addition to that, Gus would make little snide and underhanded remarks. He’d say things like “maybe we need a better developer” after I’d spent a month coming in before everyone else and finishing hours later than I was paid to just to complete some batshit concept he wanted implemented, despite it being obvious to anyone with half a clue how business actually works that it was a bad choice in the first place.

Don’t forget, I was a freelancer for several years. I knew how to run a business and I knew which ideas were worth implementing and which weren’t. Let me tell ya, Gus had no friggin idea what he was doing. He’d manipulated his way into a position of power and he was loving watching us all squirm as he slowly grabbed for more and more control. He’d managed to get our original manager demoted and ostracised. He’d also managed to drive a wedge between the staff at the two buildings, resulting in internal bickering where there’d been very little beforehand.

The impact

After a year of that I was starting to crack. Again, I didn’t realise it at the time, but Gus was doing a lot of the same shit that my stepfather had done to me while I was growing up. It’s horrible. It makes you feel like you’re worthless.

The difference between Gust and my stepfather was, I could always get away from my stepfather or just flat out ignore him, but Gus had control over my income, and by having control over my income, he also had the ability to cut off my ability to pay off my mortgage. Yeah, I know all about unfair dismissal laws but I also knew the bank wouldn’t give two shits about why the money stopped coming in, and that shitty little apartment was all I had. It was so early on in the repayments too, that I wouldn’t have made any money from appreciation and the market was quiet at the time, so I was worried I’d potentially make a loss if I did have to sell up.

After a year of that sort of stress, I was in serious need of a holiday and I scheduled a trip to Europe. Yes, you’re right to think I’d have been better off putting that money in the bank and looking for another job, but when you’ve been under intense stress and pressure for at least a year, logic starts to fail you, and you start to look for ways to ease the never ending discomfort you’re experiencing.

I guess I was so stressed out with all this shit that I completely forgotten Rene existed. I hadn’t been in touch with her for ages but the day I was about to fly out, she sent through this sweet little message wishing me a really fun trip and telling me that she was looking forward to hearing about my adventures when I got back. I thought it was nice but she was the last thing on my mind.

That’s enough for now…

Alrighty… that’s enough for now. I’ll get back to this in Origins #3 when I’ll continue to explain how my boss’s daughter ended up in my bed.

Crazy bitch tip: Be honest with people. It simplifies things.

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