Tag Archives: cry

Origins #11

3 Mar

I was still there in my bed with my boss’s daughter, and I was proud of myself for admitting that I had a crush on her instead of holding that information back and leaving her to cry in the belief that I just wanted to sleep with her. If you’ve read up to here, I’m sure you think it’s a bit weird that she somehow thought I was just trying to sleep with her considering I’d put in a fair bit of effort to avoid having anything happen with her, but hey, I was pretty drunk and that didn’t occur to me at the time.

Oops

Something I have remembered since posting last time was that, at some point after Rene and I had arrived at my place, I’d asked her about her sister Laura’s relationship. I’d pointed out that it seemed like something was off there. Rene told me she didn’t know much about it and seemed a bit down about me asking. Turns out Rene knew more than she was letting on and had taken my curiosity as further evidence of her belief that I was interested in Laura.

In hindsight, I guess that was another reason why Rene was so certain I was into Laura. I was into Laura. I’d say I liked her about as much as I liked Rene, but in a different way. It’s tough to explain because I knew Laura much better than Rene. I’ll tell you right now though, most guys would be falling all over themselves to get anywhere near either of these young women, but up until this particular night I’d done a brilliant job of behaving myself around both of them.

You have to ask me out on a proper date!

Anyways, I’d just finished admitting to Rene that I’d had a crush on her for a long time and she’d lit up with joy at hearing it. It’s not like I confessed to having an undying love for her, either. I’d only told her that I’d liked her for a long time and that I wanted to get to spend some time with her and get to know her better but Rene reacted like all her Christmases had come at once and we kissed some more as a result.

Rene stopped crying again and we went back to kissing and whatnot but we were still talking the whole time, and she started telling me how she’d made all these moves on me and asked why I’d never made any moves back. Rene pointed out that she had added me on Facebook, got my work email and started emailing me, gotten my mobile number from her sister and started texting me and even after all of that, I still hadn’t asked her out.

I told her, “You’re my boss’s daughter.”
“So?”, she asked.
“So I need my job”, I explained.
“But you never even asked me out”, she insisted.
“I’m not going to hit on my boss’s daughter. I invited you out to everything and I just figured that was as much as I could do, but you hardly ever came to anything”, I pointed out.
“But you never asked me out on a proper date, just the two of us!”, Rene said.
“I figured you could tell I was interested. You knew I couldn’t ask you out, I figured you’d ask me out if you wanted to see me.”, I told her.
“I was pretty sure that night you told me my ex in France was an idiot. But you have to ask me out now! You have to ask me out on a proper date!”, she told me, practically bouncing up and down with excitement.
“Alright. I’ll ask you out on a proper date.” I told her.

Rene was grinning ear to ear and kissing me with some serious passion after that, but even as drunk as I was, it all sounded like a weird way to go about it to me. I mean, we were in bed with each other and there she was demanding that I ask her out on a date? It’s not like I would have minded asking her out, but we were well past the ‘asking out’ stage of things.

But I’d been drinking, and she’d been drinking, and the whole thing was a bit of a mess. So I figured, if she wanted me to ask her out, I’d ask her out.

Drunken singing

We were making out and laughing and having all the stupid, drunken fun you tend to have when you’ve been drinking all night with someone you’re interested in. We started talking about all sorts of things, like the music we like and what we loved about the 90s and probably a bunch of other shit that I honestly can’t remember.

I do remember that we laid out in that bed playing songs off our phones and singing along to them between kissing and touching, and more singing, and more kissing, and more singing. At one point, I’m loathe to admit, I grabbed my ukulele from beside my bed and tried to play a tune for us to sing to, but I was too drunk to play, so gave up on that idea pretty quick.

It might sound lame, but of everything that happened that night, singing along to those songs together was my favourite bit. I was digging that we had so much in common. There was something awesome about being in bed with this girl I’d liked for so long and that we’d ended cuddled up, singing along to John Farnham songs, and making out like teenagers.

The Roller Coaster Continues

emor

Unfortunately, it wasn’t too long before Rene started crying again.

“You want something serious, don’t you”, she sobbed.
“What are you talking about?”, I asked her.
“You said you want something serious”, she repeated.
“No I didn’t, I said I want to hang out with you a bit and get to know you”, I explained, confused.
I continued, saying, “I couldn’t even think about getting into something serious anytime soon. I just want to hang out with you under the radar, get to know you properly and see what happens.”

And that was the absolute truth of the matter. I wasn’t looking to go from zero to 100 with her. Shit, I didn’t think I really knew Rene well enough to think anything beyond maybe going on a date with her. I wasn’t thinking about the future, aside from the very risky situation I was going to be in from a work perspective.

Like I said in an earlier post, all I was really looking for was to get to hang out with someone I thought was cool. I thought Rene was cool, so now we could get onto the hanging out with each other part, and eventually I’d get to know her well enough to see if there was something more than a basic attraction.

I lie to people and confuse them until they stop asking questions

Rene calmed down again and stopped crying.

We continued to talk, and I truly cannot remember how we ended up getting to this, but at one point Rene explained to me that she was an exhibitionist.

OK, so I’m with this girl I think is gorgeous and she’s already indicated to me that she likes things a bit rough in bed, and then she tells me she’s an exhibitionist. I was surprised to hear that but I was also very excited. I don’t think I’m a pervert, but I sure  am a very, very sexual person, and one aspect of that is that I like to do things that are a bit risqué. I definitely don’t want the girl I’m with to be skanky by any means, but that doesn’t mean she can’t be a bit naughty and fun, so to hear that this girl who I genuinely liked for other reasons was also a bit naughty was a huge added bonus.

And then Rene told me that she thinks she’s nowhere near as good as her sister Laura, that Laura has her shit together and that she’s doing so well, and Laura’s so pretty, and Laura’s this and that and whatever else. I, of course, tried to point out to Rene that she’s pretty awesome herself and shouldn’t compare herself to Laura, but Rene responded by telling me that she makes mistakes all the time and ruins things.

I don’t really remember exactly what she said, but I know Rene told me that she was still in contact with the guy she’d moved to France to be with, even though he’d cheated on her and she’d moved back to Australia broken hearted, she had kept in contact with him. Not only had she kept in contact with him, she was now playing the role of mistress behind the back of this douchebag’s new girlfriend.

I remember telling her, “Well, stop that shit, then!”

Again, I’m not sure how we got onto this, but Rene ended up telling me that she makes a lot of mistakes and it really upsets her. I don’t remember much of the conversation but I do remember her telling me, “I lie to people and confuse them until they stop asking questions.”

Idiot

Trust me, I know very well that I should have taken these things as red flags. I know I’m an idiot for not doing so at the time, but I was drunk and as far as I knew, I was with a beautiful, intelligent, fun, sexy young woman who happened to be going through a rough time and also happened to be full of red wine and cocktails.

Everybody says stupid shit when they’ve been drinking, so I wasn’t judging her for any of what she said. I guess I did take some of those statements on board though, as I certainly kept an eye out for certain things she’d mentioned about herself in the months to come. You’ll hear all about that soon enough.

But it’s not like Rene was the only one saying or doing stupid shit that night. I was on a roll, myself.

I’d managed to completely miss the fact that Rene was worried that I was interested in Laura and had contributed to making her cry as a result, repeatedly as the night went on.

I’d drunkenly pushed my boss’s daughter up and down some serious hills in a freakin’ shopping trolly, the most dangerous of all vehicles. I’d let the night get out of hand by not staying sober. I’d ended up in bed with my boss’s daughter, for fuck’s sake. I hadn’t stopped it and called her a taxi, I hadn’t told her we shouldn’t do anything, I hadn’t walked out of the room when she flashed me. I’d done a lot of stupid shit that night myself.

But I had one more awesomely stupid thing to say.

I totally understand why I said it, but that doesn’t mean I actually understand why I said it. Oh god. I actually have to tell you what I said. Ahh fuck it!, here goes…

I don’t exactly remember when but at one point in the night when I was in bed with Rene, I half whispered: “I want kids.”

I know.

embarrased

I know it was a moronic thing to do, but if you remember from Origins #7, I’d been talking with Rene’s sister earlier that day about how important it was to let people know what you want out of life before you get involved with them, and I didn’t mean that I wanted kids with Rene, I just meant that, at some point in my future, I’d like to be a parent. And somehow, as a result of all that rational logical, sense-making, I was pretty drunk and it just came out.

I totally get that it was a stupid thing to do, and even as I write this, I feel very much like this…

shm1Oh lord the shame I feel for admitting that I said that. Let’s never speak of it again. Ahhh shame my old friend, what would life be without you?

You want to know the worst part? I’m pretty sure I said that after Rene had her little freak-out about me wanting something serious. I just don’t know what I was thinking. I do think my little revelation was on the mild side in comparison to admitting to being an exhibitionist, or intentionally confusing people until they give up asking question, or playing the mistress, etc, etc but it was still a really embarrassing thing for me when I was forced to think back on it later.

Nearly there

As it turns out, there’s still a little bit more of that night that I have to tell you about, including more confusion, weird encouragement and weird rejection. Catch ya then!Crazy bitch tip: If you move to another country to be with a guy and he then cheats on you, don’t talk to him anymore because he’s clearly a massive douche.

Origins #10

23 Feb

I’d just slid face first across my bed into my boss’s daughter’s boobs after trying very hard to behave myself. As I mentioned last time, I don’t want to go into too much detail about what we got up to, but I do have to tell you some things because they’re relevant to the story.

I should also also point out that I’m doing my best remember all this stuff accurately even thought it happened over 4 years ago. I’m confident that what I do remember is accurate, but I wouldn’t be surprised if I muddle up the sequence of events of this particular night. I doubt I’d remember much of it at all if I hadn’t been forced to think about it so much, but we’ll get to that later and why I’d rather forget the whole damned thing. For now, we’ll carry on from me being in bed with my boss’s daughter.

A face-full

I dived across the bed and went face first into boobtown. Rene absolutely loved it and sounded ridiculously happy about what was happening. She was giggling and running her hands through my hair and down my back. There was no confusion here. Rene Everlong had 100% intentionally gotten me into bed with her and was loving the fact that her efforts were paying off. We kissed. We touched. Clothes were thrown asunder in the same way those pesky hamburger wrappers are furiously discarded by teenagers as they attack the grease laden nourishment they’ve hunted down in a munchies-driven, fast food binge.

That is to say, there was passion in the moment.

A real man

Somewhere in the mix Rene said, “It’s been so long since I’ve been with a real man.”

I guess the point of her telling me that was for Rene to let me know that she viewed me as a real man, whatever the fuck that means, but I also took it to mean that she separates men into two categories: ‘real men’, and the rest. About that same time, Rene also mentioned that she liked that I was biting her neck by saying something about ‘rough’ being good.

I’m telling you these things that I’d rather keep private because they’re important to the story. For example, I liked hearing that Rene enjoyed a bit of roughness because I’d been with a few girls who were into that and I’d learned how to deliver what they liked. In the process, I’d discovered that there’s a level of rough play that is actually fun. I wouldn’t have ventured into that territory myself, but by learning about it with girls who really liked it, I discovered that it’s just another way to play. I grew to enjoy it and when Rene brought it up, it suggested to me that she was uninhibited and fun, and I dig that.

It’s funny, even at the time, when Rene said that thing about a ‘real man’, it caught my ear. It’s just one of those things. I don’t like that women see men that way and quite frankly I didn’t know what the hell she expected of me as this mythical ‘real man’ figure. I’m just a guy. I can kill bugs, open tight jars, lift heavy things, use a drill, and all that shit but beyond that, I don’t know what the hell a ‘real man’ is supposed to be.

Am I just a piece of ass to you?

At some point in the frolicking, my attention was drawn to Rene’s derriere. Rene was blessed with not only boobs that can convince a wary man to dive across a room at them, but also a back end that would easily illicit the phrase ‘dat ass’ on loop if she were to find herself in the sort of territory where that’s common vernacular. Yes, Rene was a weapon of mass seduction and I was being demolished and loving every second of it.

I was midway through enjoying caressing this sculpture of femininity when I mentioned to Rene that I’d always thought she had a great ass. Rene’s eyes lit up when I told her that and she asked me when I noticed her. I told her she had my attention from the very first time I met her. I was flattering her but I wasn’t lying.

I had been attracted to Rene for a very long time and I was really stoked that we’d finally gotten past the bullshit of dancing around the topic and had finally admitted that we were attracted to each other. At least, I thought that was the end of the bullshit.

Out of nowhere, Rene starts crying again!

Between her tears I heard her say, “Am I just a piece of ass to you?”.

“What? Why would you ask me that?”, I replied.
“Tell me the truth. Am I just a piece of ass to you?”, Rene said again as she continued to cry.
“No. You’re not just a piece of ass to me. I don’t understand why you’d think that.”, I told her.
“Because you were saying such nice things about my body”, she replied as I tried to wipe away her tears.

I was so confused. Here I was after all this effort to not hook up with my boss’s daughter and she finally had me in bed with her after I’d made it clear (as far as I was concerned) that I was interested in her, and she’s crying about the fact that I find her physically attractive!

Up until this point I’d assumed that it was clear to Rene that I was interested in her. I thought our actions were speaking louder than words and that it was unnecessary for me to actually say that I was interested in her, but there I was again, with my boss’s daughter crying at me because she thought I wasn’t interested in her, and for bonus points, this time she’s almost completely naked in my bed.

I wasn’t really ready to tell her that I’d been interested in her for a long time. I wasn’t looking to let that cat out of the bag so early on. There were many reasons for that, one of them being common sense. Another major reason was that I felt like I’d be putting myself in a very vulnerable situation, and I don’t do vulnerable. I’ll explain why a bit later, but I had a decision to make. I could keep my feelings to myself and watch the girl I’d been interested in for a long time cry in my bed because she thought I was only interested in using her for sex, or I could own up to my feelings.

Vulnerability

One big thing I’d been forced to acknowledge about myself after breaking up with the girl I’d been with for 6 years was that I didn’t allow myself to genuinely feel emotions. That was a strategy I’d taken on in my youth as a way to help me make it through my… let’s go with unconventional… childhood. I essentially would just block any sort of emotion before it got in so it couldn’t do any damage to me, but after that break-up with my ex, I’d come to the conclusion that my efforts to block out all the bad stuff was also causing me to miss out on all the good stuff too.

I figured you can never be truly happy if you don’t allow yourself to feel things, and I’d been working on that since. It wasn’t easy for me. Honestly, it was scary as shit! But I’d decided that was what I had to do if I wanted to be happy, and that I had to do so when the opportunity arose.

To me, Rene crying because I hadn’t shown her any genuine emotion was a prime example of how badly I was hurting myself by not allowing myself to genuinely feel things. So right there in that moment, I decided I’d fight through all the parts of me that were telling me not to open up to her, and be honest with her.

I told Rene that I’d noticed her the first time I met her and that I’d felt like there was some major chemistry between us ever since. I told her that I’d always looked forward to getting a chance to spend time with her and that anytime there was a work function, I was always hoping she’d be there. I explained that I’d had a crush on her for a long time. That I thought we had some sort of cool connection that’s really rare for me to find.

Rene was gleaming. Shit, I reckon you could have lit a street with the amount of glow she was putting out. And I felt good about it too. I felt like I’d broken past my own bullshit and that, whatever happened, that was an enormous step in the right direction for me.

Next time

The story of that ridiculous night isn’t over yet. I’ll try and get through the rest of it in Origins #11.

Crazy bitch tip: Figure out what you really want instead of chasing things down and then throwing them away.

Origins #7

21 Jan

After all the blabbing in the previous Origins post, we’re finally getting to the juicy stuff.

“You can afford it”

In the week leading up to the Friday after-work drinks I had scheduled with Rene Everlong to meet up with her and her colleagues, Rene was extra communicative with me. In one email, Rene asked me about my car. I explained what had happened and that I was considering buying a new car to get around in while the Capri was being worked on.

Rene asked me which car I had in mind, so I showed her the magnificent Focus RS which I had been lusting over since I heard it was coming to Australia.

Something like this

Something like this

I think they were asking something like $75,000 for one of these in Australia. I was making good money but it would have been very unrealistic for me to try and buy one in addition to paying off my mortgage on my shitty little apartment. Still, a man can dream. What caught me off guard in Rene’s response was that she said something along the lines of “You should totally get that. You can afford it!” I remember thinking, “How the hell would she know what I can afford?”. But whatever, I told her I’d think about it.

Talking about kids

On the Friday that I was set to meet up with Rene at the pub, I ended up falling into a long conversation with her sister, Laura at work. I don’t know how or why it came up but Laura was talking to me about things you should let people know before you get into a relationship. One of the things Laura pointed out is whether or not you want to have kids.

To baby or not to baby?

To baby or not to baby?

Laura was saying, “It’s such a big thing, and that people don’t want to waste time with someone who doesn’t want the same things as them”. I agreed with her. I still do. That’s such an important thing that you’d better get your opinion on it out of the way early. Can you imagine being with someone for 3 years and feeling like it might be time to have kids and not knowing if they even want kids? How the hell do people live that way?

It turns out there was a reason Laura was talking about that, but that’s for later. At the time, I didn’t know what was up, and something about that particular conversation further reinforced the vibe I’d been getting about Laura not really being solidly with her boyfriend anymore.

After work drinks

I was looking forward to catching up with Rene at the pub but at the same time, it wasn’t really a big deal to me. I half expected her to not show up, because she’d done that to me several times by then. But show up she did, and with colleagues in tow as promised.

We introduced everyone to each other, grabbed a few drinks and got the night under way. Having been introduced to the ‘weird’ guy, I was keeping an eye on him for any strange behaviour. He was a bit of a know-it-all and a bit loud, but there didn’t seem to be anything especially wrong with him.

Rene, on the other hand, was acting a bit different to usual. She got up to get a drink and came back with two glasses of red wine for herself and two pints of beer for me. We started chatting and were having a good time and I was trying to take it slow on the drinks but Rene kept asking my why I’d hardly touched my beers.

Somewhere in the conversation, she looks me right in the eyes and says… “How do you want to die?” I stopped and stared at her for a second and said “Hey, Rene, remember when you asked me what people shouldn’t do on a date? Just so you know… asking people how they want to die should go on that list.” She laughed and explained she’d been talking about that question with her colleagues earlier in the day. That made sense so I had a laugh and on went the evening.

Additional faces get in on the act

Friday night drinks was an institution by this point and because of its unfailing reliability and recurrence. We’d often have some people come join us from Everlong’s other office. The other office was the company’s headquarters, and occasionally the girls from the admin section there would come over and gossip up a storm with everyone from the office I worked at.

A few of those admin girls had come down to The Chesterfield this particular Friday night, including a young lady by the name of Tash. Tash had been with a boyfriend for a long time but they’d broken up recently. She’d always been quite the flirt, but since the break-up, the volume on that behaviour had cranked up to 11, and a fair bit of it was fired my way.

I didn’t mind. Tash was cool and fun and easy going and she worked at the other office anyway, so I wasn’t too stressed about it causing any dramas. I was quite willing to flirt back with her but I wasn’t trying to make anything happen with her. It was just a bit of fun.

In addition to Tash being there, Angelica had also turned up. I mentioned Angelica a while back, she’s the friend of a friend of one of my colleagues and I’d been getting up to some bedroom shenanigans with her since my birthday. It turned out the colleague who’s friends with her had told her to come down for some drinks with us.

I didn’t mind that either, because Angelica is also a really cool, fun individual. It was a bit strange about not knowing that the woman I’d been sleeping with was going to join us, but I figured that was just a part of the very casual approach we’d been taking to hanging out with each other.

You’re in charge of making sure I don’t embarrass the Everlong family name

Rene had made a point of being next to me as much as possible. She was keeping an eye on my drinks and any time it looked like it was getting half empty, she’d ask if I was ready for another. She was also doing a surprisingly good job of finding her way to the bottom of the glasses of wine she’d bought and seemed in a particularly energetic mood.

winess

At one point, Rene leans in and says, “You’re in charge of making sure I don’t embarrass Everlong family name tonight”. I was interested in this girl and all I took that as was her telling me she wanted me to be around her all night. I thought of that as a good thing. I told her “Sure” and just tried to keep a tally of how many drinks she’d had as the night progressed. I didn’t do a very good job of keeping track, mostly because she kept encouraging me to drink and because she kept telling me she “wants to have a fun night”.

I hate to see the evening sun go down

The drinks kept coming, the people kept laughing and having a good time, and the sun slowly sank behind the wall out back of The Chesterfield.

We’d started with a pretty big group that Friday night. We must have had about 20 people there at the peak of it. Everyone was enjoying themselves but as is usually the case on a Friday night, people had places to be. The numbers began to drop as some of the Everlong crew and all of Rene’s colleagues, including the not-so-creepy creepy guy, headed on their merry way.

That meant that Rene, who had now had 3 glasses of wine and was in no shape to drive, would be hanging out with us until she was either sober enough to drive, or decided to get a cab home instead.

Tonight, we feast!

By this point it was time to eat, and we were down to about 9 people. We headed over to the curry joint over the road who were always good at finding a way to fit us in. They squished a few tables together, shuffled some other diners around and managed to squeeze us in.

So there I am at the table with, among others, Tash, Angelica, and Rene. Each of these ladies had been showing me significant interest and I was just trying to keep cool in an unusual situation.

Out comes the food! It’s bloody great food there and everyone was chowing down and yapping it up. It was great!

I wish everyone would stop treating me like I’m Tim Everlong’s daughter

Rene was being quite friendly, and I, as usual, was trying not to reciprocate too much. She kept pointing out when I didn’t have a drink or if I was a bit reluctant to be too jokey with her or whatever, and I pointed out to her that it’s a risky thing for me to be getting too friendly with my boss’s daughter.

Rene looks at me with this frustrated, annoyed, half-defeated expression and says “I wish everyone would stop treating me like I’m Time Everlong’s daughter. Why can’t anyone just see me as my own person? Why can’t I just be Rene?”

It took me aback. I was surprised partly because Rene seemed to always be so associated with her family and I’d never noticed that it bothered her. It never occurred to me that anyone could be unhappy to be associated with a prominent family who are known for their charitable contributions and successful business ventures.

In the moment, though, I could see that it was a weight on her, so I decided I’d be a bit less guarded when dealing with her.

And then shit started to get weird…

Tash is sitting at the other end of the table, which made it difficult for us to talk directly. To remedy this, she starts messaging flirty things directly to my phone. Angelica, meanwhile is sitting across from me and has decided it’d be fun to start playing footsies with me under the table. And Rene is, of course, sitting right beside me and leaning into me, being very flirty and inappropriately touchy feely with me.

I admit that I was feeling pretty good about the fact that all three of these ladies were vying for my attention, but it’s not like I set up the situation to turn out that way. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I don’t like things to be complicated and I don’t like drama. Complicated usually means stressful, and I just don’t want stress in my life.

Anyway, all three girls were flirting with me and I was trying to figure out how to deal with the situation. Luckily, with a table of 9 people in a very busy restaurant there’s enough cross-talk that these shenanigans are going unheard by the other people at the table, which was a nice bonus, but it was still a very weird situation to be in.

It’s not like I was doing a good job of calming things down either. With Angelica being so friendly under the table and Rene being so friendly above it, and me with about 4 pints of beer in me and Rene demanding that I treat her like I’d treat anyone else, I was stupid enough to suggest Angelica and Rene should kiss. Angelica looked into it, and Rene half considered it but then laughed it off.

I think that’s pretty solid evidence that I was already not making the best decisions that night.

Tears in heaven

Just to add a bit more chaos to the mix, a little after the suggestion of a girl-girl kiss, I mentioned to Rene how highly I think of her sister, Laura. I praised how smart and sweet Laura is and said that I think her father must be so proud of her for running the office that I work at.

Rene suddenly starts crying, silently while looking at me.

I had absolutely no idea why there were tears running down her face from me complimenting her sister. I leaned in and asked her what’s going on and tried to make sure nobody else could see that she was crying. She tells me “It’s nothing. It’s OK. I’ll be fine. Please don’t worry about it.”

But she’d charged me with not letting her embarrass the family name, not to mention the fact that I liked her, so of course I was worried why she was crying. The last thing I wanted was to make her cry. Sure, I was being cheeky suggesting she kiss Angelica, but I genuinely cared about Rene. I didn’t want her to be upset, least of all because I said or did the wrong thing.

I didn’t see how complimenting Laura could possibly upset Rene but no matter how many times I asked Rene, she just kept telling me not to worry about it, so I stopped asking and tried to carry on with the night.

Karaoke dreaming

Everyone was finishing up with dinner and people were deciding what to do with the rest of their night. Rene had overcome what ever it was that had caused to her to cry. Angelica was still playing footsies with me under the table and Tash was still messaging me from the other end of the table and I was trying not to encourage any of them because, once Rene started crying, I was too worried about her to be very interested in flirting and playing around.

Then Rene sprang to life and told the entire table that she really wants to go do Karaoke and she wanted to know who would come with her. The response was not favourable. Everyone there was pretty happy to chill out with a few more drinks and then call it a night.

I didn’t want Rene driving or heading off by herself, and she’d just been crying too, so I told her I’d go with her. I was hoping that belting out some Karaoke might raise her spirits and she had charged me with keeping an eye on her. I won’t pretend I wasn’t keen to spend time with her alone, too, but that wasn’t the main reason I volunteered.

So Rene and I said our goodbyes and headed out of the restaurant.

Costume change

Having come straight from work, I still had my uniform on. My uniform only consisted of a polo shirt with the company name on it, but I thought it best to get out of that before heading into the city. I told Rene that we’d have to do a quick stop at my place so I could change, and then we’d be on our way. It’s a bit of a walk from that Restaurant to my shitty little apartment, so I asked Rene if she’d rather walk or catch a cab. She said something like “It’s a nice night, let’s walk and get some fresh air”.

That walk would normally take about 20 minutes if you’re stone cold sober, but we sure weren’t that night. It was pretty fun though. Rene seemed to be full of life again and we were laughing and playing around the whole way. She was comparing certain colleagues to certain cartoon characters and trying to show me on her iPad that they were twins.

It was really nice. I was finally getting to spend a bit of time with Rene away from everyone else and it seemed like whatever had made her cry had been and gone. I’ve had a few walks like that with girls. There’s just something about those occasions. There’s a tension in the air, but it’s a good tension. If you’ve experienced something like that, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about.

Trollied

I mentioned that the walk was taking longer than normal. A side effect of this was that Rene’s shoes had started to get uncomfortable and were hurting her feet. Rene spots an abandoned shopping trolly and asks me if I’ll push her in that.

“Seriously?” I asked her. “Yeah, come on! It’ll be fun!”

Like this, sans groceries

Like this, sans groceries

You know how challenging it is to control a shopping trolly at the supermarket on those perfectly flat floors? You know how you’re constantly battling that one wheel that’s just doing its own damned thing? You know how a trolly just doesn’t give a shit about where you want it to go, be it in a straight line or to change direction?

Yeah, well you should try it on footpaths and roads on hilly streets when the cargo is your boss’s daughter! It was a challenge to say the least!

Again though, it was heaps of fun. We were giggling like school kids. I guess part of it was knowing that we were doing something completely ridiculous that we absolutely shouldn’t have been doing. Another part of that giggling might have had something to do with the fact that we were also getting closer and closer to my place…

Next time

I’ll tell you all about what went down with my boss’s daughter in my shitty little apartment. Spoiler alert, we didn’t end up going to karaoke.

Crazy bitch tip: If you can’t walk in your “shoes” for 20 minutes without suffering significant pain, stop calling them shoes.

Video

Tantrums don’t solve problems

19 Nov

Tantrums don’t solve your problems. When you’re a kid at least you can blame the fact that you chuck the occasional massively childishness tantie on the fact that you’re actually a child. When you’re a fully grown woman, you should know better than to kick and scream like dying cockroach just because you can’t get your way.

Granted, the husband shouldn’t have posted this video. If he really loved his wife, he wouldn’t have been willing to offer her up for the world to mock. Mind you, with that sort of behaviour, you can see why he might have fallen out of love with her.

Here he is defending why he posted the video:

I don’t know if I’m being one sided here, maybe I’m just on this guy’s side because I’m a guy too, but doesn’t he seem like a normal, level-headed bloke in both the original video and in the interview?

But hey, if I am being one sided, at least the chair kicker is single now. Have at her if you’re into that sort of thing, fellas.

Crazy bitch tip: When your argument has degraded to the point that you’re kicking a chair, it’s time to consider a new approach.

Image

Alien tears

10 Jul From theoatmeal.com/comics/aliens_b_word

Just caught a new comic from The Oatmeal which touches on Lesson #6 – Crying, even Ripley isn’t able to overcome the evil superpower that is crying.

Crazy bitch tip: Tears are powerful, do not abuse this superpower.

Crying wolf

19 Feb

This one’s a bit of dangerous issue to bring up but it’s a massive indicator of crazy-bitchosity, so I kind of have to. There’s not a lot of room for humour here because I’m talking about false allegations of rape. Fortunately, only a very small percentage of rape accusations are intentionally false. The numbers I’ve seen range from about 2% to 5% and vary a little from place to place and country to country.

Whatever the numbers, let me make it clear that I think rape and any other form of non-consensual sexual activity is revolting and imprisonment too soft a punishment for anyone guilty of committing such acts. Obviously this is not an uncommon opinion, very few people would disagree, and that’s a big part of why I think falsely accusing someone of rape is an unconscionable thing to do. It damages the man but it also damages legitimate rape cases. It’s truly a shitty thing to decide that your anger at someone is worth introducing doubt into all other rape allegations.

The typical rationale behind a false rape allegation is the tactic of attempting to bring harm to the accused man and/or to his reputation. Many men have been imprisoned as a result of this sort of thing, some eventually being overturned, others not so lucky.

With this topic being so touchy, I’m going to cut it a bit short and just say that if you even consider falsely alleging rape against someone, you’re very much in crazy-bitch territory. If you actually go through with it then there’s no going back, you will forever be a crazy bitch.

But there’s a whole new level, and that’s claiming that you were raped because you’re trying to come up with an excuse for skipping work. This makes you, without a doubt, one of the craziest bitches I’ve ever heard of. Find out more at: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/florida-woman-faked-rape-story-skipping-work-authorities-article-1.1616446.

Here’s another example, where a woman claims to have been raped in an attempt to hide an affair she’d been having for six years: http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/relationships/jessica-gore-faked-rape-to-hide-sixyear-affair/story-fnet09p2-1226820399143?utm_source=outbrain&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=lifestyle

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