Tag Archives: cut

Do not climb inside a dead horse

31 Aug

Even if you and your boyfriend are both fans of that scene in Star Wars where Luke cut open that [insert proper name of weird horse thing he rides] to sleep in so he didn’t die from the cold, that doesn’t mean the rest of the world is gonna be cool with you cutting open a horse and climbing inside it.

Warning: the pics for this are gross and definitely not for the squeamish.

Are you sure you want to see this?
Seriously?
Because you can’t unsee it?
Last chance to change your mind…
Ok… Here you go…

 
So, there you have it. A crazy bitch and a massive douche hacked up a horse and nibbled on it. Then she climbed inside the somewhat disembowelled horse carcass, for… y’know… something to do? Or maybe it was art? Usually if it’s this weird it’s either mental illness or art. This one might be both.

I kinda hope it is both because there’s just no good reason to climb inside a gutted horse unless that horse ate your $1,000,000 and you have to get it back. 

See, that’s what makes this seem like the actions of a crazy bitch, the fact that there’s no real reason behind it. I guess there’s nothing particularly bitchy about, except for the fact that releasing these pics was no doubt going to upset horse lovers everywhere.

Anyway, I’m pretty sure most people will pretty quickly assume you’re a crazy bitch if you climb inside a horse, so please don’t do that.

Crazy bitch tip: there are very, very few good reasons to be on the inside of an animal. Unless you’re a vet or a taxidermist, it’s a bad call.

Jealousy is ugly

2 Oct

People are competitive. That’s part of what got us to the moon. It’s a big part of the reason we have people that can do awesome things that seem like they should be impossible. For example:

For the record, this was the least ‘T&A’ focused video I could find of women doing awesome shit, and that sort of ties in with what I wanted to write about today.

Most people are average looking, that’s exactly what average means. Some people are good looking, which is a nice little bonus in life but doesn’t really help anyone all that much in the grand scheme of things. But then you get the model-level good looking people. They’re people who are so good looking, it’s distracting. For some people, seeing a model-level good looking person makes them self-conscious, and that makes them angry at the model-type person. That anger has a few names but most people know it either as envy or jealousy.

Envy and jealousy are very ugly traits which often trigger people’s built-in drive to compete. I’m no shrink but I’d have to think both jealousy and envy come from insecurity. Insecurity, envy and jealousy can be very ugly traits when they’re revealed to the world. And I mean, downright repulsive.

“Too pretty”

There are two young women in Argentina that showed just how ugly jealousy can become and they really pushed themselves into crazy-bitch territory in doing so. See, these two teenage girls had seen 15 year oldĀ Julia Alvarez around town and came to the conclusion that Julia was so attractive, she was ‘too pretty’. What the hell does that mean?

Well, to these girls, Maira (16) and Flor (18), ‘Too pretty’ meant they found Julia so threateningly attractive, they would need to alter her appearance to make her less competitive in the looks department. These two teenaged girls stepped over the threshold into psycho-land when they decided to become knife wielding attackers who told Julia “Everyone says you are pretty. You won’t look pretty when we have finished with you. People will call you Chucky.“, a reference to the character of the same name from the horror movie, Child’s play.

Chucky

Sure, you could use logic and realise that at most, Julia was probably only going to get involved with one guy at a time, maybe even two, leaving the other 3 billion or so available, but that’s useless rational thinking, and there’s no room for rationality in the minds of knife wielding psycho-bitches hell-bent on eradicating beauty from the world. So instead of accepting that there are, in fact, people out there in the world who are better looking than themselves, Maira and Flor used their knives to slash the flesh of a beautiful young woman, over and over, until they were satisfied she was no longer more beautiful than them.

I’ve chosen not to include the more graphic images of Julia’s injuries from the attack, but this one gives you some idea how vicious the attack was.

One of these cuts required 20 stitches alone.

One of these cuts required 20 stitches.

The more gruesome the images are available in this Daily Mail article, but be warned, they’re not pleasant.

Personality matters more

Maira and Flor cut Julia because they thought doing so would make them comparatively more attractive than her. This is solid evidence that they’re very, very confused about what really matters when it comes to being attractive. Most people can get past looking at a scar or two but it’s a lot more difficult to get past the fact that your romantic interest has a bad history of getting jealous and putting knives into people. The fact that these two horrid little trolls couldn’t figure that out for themselves is evidence that they already had very unattractive personalities and the fact that they went through with it makes them about as ugly as you can get.

If you feel threatened by how attractive other people are, that’s because you lack self-confidence. Get out there and start doing what you love and find a way to be so happy about who you are. Focus on having an awesome personality because your personality will stick around a lot longer than your looks. I can’t speak for everyone else but I know personally that I find an average looking woman with an awesome personality far more attractive as a partner than a supermodel with the personality of a goldfish.

Sure, good looks turn heads, but good personalities win hearts.

Don’t

For the sake of the rest of us, please don’t fall into the trap of thinking that looks are something to compete on. Fashion is a competitive world and look how that turns out:

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So let’s not go jumping on board that train too damned quick. Yes, it’s nice to look good. Yes, good looking people get a few advantages in life but they also sometimes get attacked by knife-wielding psychopaths, so it’s not all roses. You probably look just fine, and even if you don’t, remember that pretty much everyone ends up finding someone who loves them.

I bet this dude has a HUGE personality.

I bet this dude has a HUGE personality.

Some people can see past physical shortcomings.

Even his friend is happy to see they’re finally ready to show their love to the world.

Crazy bitch tip: If you think there are people out there who are ‘too pretty’, put the knife down and speak to a shrink.

Do not leave marks on your children

30 Jun

This rule applies to all people and all children. This rule is simple. This rule is not negotiable.

DO NOT LEAVE MARKS ON YOUR CHILDREN.

The fact that you birthed a child does not entitle you the right to cause that child physical damage. It does not entitle you the right to intentionally scar that child. If you believe it does, you are a fucking crazy bitch. You are such a crazy bitch, that you’ll like go to prison.

That’s an important indicator during your self-evaluation. Think to yourself, would I go to prison for doing this thing that I’ve got it in my head that I want to do? If the answer is yes, and you continue anyway, have no doubt that you are a crazy bitch.

See this?

This is unacceptable. You do not need to brand your children, they will still be recognised as yours through their use of language, the fact that they live with you and that old reliable stuff we call DNA. Even if someone branded you, you still should not brand your children.

How about this?

This is also unacceptable. You should not have your children tattooed. Tattooing is permanent and it is painful. There’s no bloody reason you need to have a tattoo put on your child. Even if you’re a satanist and you want to hail your demon deity, you still don’t get to put a tattoo on your child. Do you know why? Because that’s fucking psycho! That’s why! Yet again, even if someone tattooed you when you were a child, you still should not tattoo your child.

What about this one?

Burning a child for any reason, is unacceptable. Do you understand? You don’t get to apply a burning hot iron to a child because your hair isn’t straight. You don’t get to burn a child because they’ve been crying. You don’t get to burn a child if they’ve accidentally cut your leg off with a chain saw. You should never burn your child.

And this?

Ripping your sons scrotum and applying superglue to the wound is not acceptable. Regardless of how angry you are, you don’t get to tear the flesh of your child. Regardless of how bad your day has been, you don’t get to rip the scrotum of your son. Regardless of who has been cruel to you in your life, you don’t get to grab your sons genitals and rip away at them so hard that you separate the flesh of his body and you sure as fuck shouldn’t try and fix it with glue and cover up the incident instead of seeking medical attention.

What the fuck is wrong with these batshit, crazy bitches?

Crazy bitch tip: If you know you’re a crazy bitch, please don’t procreate.

Video

Episode #15 – Playboy

15 Jun
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