Tag Archives: food

Who should pay on a date?

19 Jun

The question “Who should pay on a date?” comes up often. I listen to a few podcasts from New York and I hear a lot of the female guests talking about how they’ll go out on dates with guys they have no interest in whatsoever just to get a free meal and some drinks. That’s some stupid shit right there. Not to say that you shouldn’t let someone pay for your night out but don’t let that be the only reason you’re going out with them.

To trade your time for ‘treats’ is pretty gross. A lot of the women I’ve heard telling these stories later explain that they hook up with the guys as a sort of trade-off, sometimes even going to the extent of sleeping with them. One of these girls started her story off by saying how creepy and gross and old the guy who took her out was, and how she only went out with him because he offered to take her to a really ritzy restaurant; but by the end of the story she’s back at his place giving him head! She had absolutely no interest in the guy and  no intention of seeing him again, but then he offered to take her to another nice restaurant and, what do you know… she agreed!

That’s! fucking! crazy!

I’m not a fan of the “how to attract/catch/get/trap/capture/cage-up the [person] of your dreams” things, but I saw this particular explanation come up on Reddit about who should pay on dates, and I think the point this bloke makes is excellent.

“Treat the guy you’re interested in as well as you’d treat your best friend.” Now that’s some damned good advice, right there.

And how’s that chick’s form? “I’ve been seeing a guy for 5 months and he’s starting to suggest that I contribute to the cost of dinner when we go out!” Yeah, NO SHIT! because it’s fucking mental that you’ve been involved with someone for 5 months and haven’t paid for a single dinner!

Holy mother of crap! I cannot understand where people get these ideas from. Even if you’re going out with a billionaire you should still buy a round of drinks or whatever from time to time. It’s just courtesy!

So who pays on a date? The human beings that consumed the meal. If someone offers to cover the whole bill themselves you should at least offer to cover your share anyway, and if they refuse you should appreciate the fact that someone was so happy to spend time with you that they willingly paid their hard-earned money to treat you to a meal.

Crazy bitch tip: At least offer to pay your share.

Origins #7

21 Jan

After all the blabbing in the previous Origins post, we’re finally getting to the juicy stuff.

“You can afford it”

In the week leading up to the Friday after-work drinks I had scheduled with Rene Everlong to meet up with her and her colleagues, Rene was extra communicative with me. In one email, Rene asked me about my car. I explained what had happened and that I was considering buying a new car to get around in while the Capri was being worked on.

Rene asked me which car I had in mind, so I showed her the magnificent Focus RS which I had been lusting over since I heard it was coming to Australia.

Something like this

Something like this

I think they were asking something like $75,000 for one of these in Australia. I was making good money but it would have been very unrealistic for me to try and buy one in addition to paying off my mortgage on my shitty little apartment. Still, a man can dream. What caught me off guard in Rene’s response was that she said something along the lines of “You should totally get that. You can afford it!” I remember thinking, “How the hell would she know what I can afford?”. But whatever, I told her I’d think about it.

Talking about kids

On the Friday that I was set to meet up with Rene at the pub, I ended up falling into a long conversation with her sister, Laura at work. I don’t know how or why it came up but Laura was talking to me about things you should let people know before you get into a relationship. One of the things Laura pointed out is whether or not you want to have kids.

To baby or not to baby?

To baby or not to baby?

Laura was saying, “It’s such a big thing, and that people don’t want to waste time with someone who doesn’t want the same things as them”. I agreed with her. I still do. That’s such an important thing that you’d better get your opinion on it out of the way early. Can you imagine being with someone for 3 years and feeling like it might be time to have kids and not knowing if they even want kids? How the hell do people live that way?

It turns out there was a reason Laura was talking about that, but that’s for later. At the time, I didn’t know what was up, and something about that particular conversation further reinforced the vibe I’d been getting about Laura not really being solidly with her boyfriend anymore.

After work drinks

I was looking forward to catching up with Rene at the pub but at the same time, it wasn’t really a big deal to me. I half expected her to not show up, because she’d done that to me several times by then. But show up she did, and with colleagues in tow as promised.

We introduced everyone to each other, grabbed a few drinks and got the night under way. Having been introduced to the ‘weird’ guy, I was keeping an eye on him for any strange behaviour. He was a bit of a know-it-all and a bit loud, but there didn’t seem to be anything especially wrong with him.

Rene, on the other hand, was acting a bit different to usual. She got up to get a drink and came back with two glasses of red wine for herself and two pints of beer for me. We started chatting and were having a good time and I was trying to take it slow on the drinks but Rene kept asking my why I’d hardly touched my beers.

Somewhere in the conversation, she looks me right in the eyes and says… “How do you want to die?” I stopped and stared at her for a second and said “Hey, Rene, remember when you asked me what people shouldn’t do on a date? Just so you know… asking people how they want to die should go on that list.” She laughed and explained she’d been talking about that question with her colleagues earlier in the day. That made sense so I had a laugh and on went the evening.

Additional faces get in on the act

Friday night drinks was an institution by this point and because of its unfailing reliability and recurrence. We’d often have some people come join us from Everlong’s other office. The other office was the company’s headquarters, and occasionally the girls from the admin section there would come over and gossip up a storm with everyone from the office I worked at.

A few of those admin girls had come down to The Chesterfield this particular Friday night, including a young lady by the name of Tash. Tash had been with a boyfriend for a long time but they’d broken up recently. She’d always been quite the flirt, but since the break-up, the volume on that behaviour had cranked up to 11, and a fair bit of it was fired my way.

I didn’t mind. Tash was cool and fun and easy going and she worked at the other office anyway, so I wasn’t too stressed about it causing any dramas. I was quite willing to flirt back with her but I wasn’t trying to make anything happen with her. It was just a bit of fun.

In addition to Tash being there, Angelica had also turned up. I mentioned Angelica a while back, she’s the friend of a friend of one of my colleagues and I’d been getting up to some bedroom shenanigans with her since my birthday. It turned out the colleague who’s friends with her had told her to come down for some drinks with us.

I didn’t mind that either, because Angelica is also a really cool, fun individual. It was a bit strange about not knowing that the woman I’d been sleeping with was going to join us, but I figured that was just a part of the very casual approach we’d been taking to hanging out with each other.

You’re in charge of making sure I don’t embarrass the Everlong family name

Rene had made a point of being next to me as much as possible. She was keeping an eye on my drinks and any time it looked like it was getting half empty, she’d ask if I was ready for another. She was also doing a surprisingly good job of finding her way to the bottom of the glasses of wine she’d bought and seemed in a particularly energetic mood.

winess

At one point, Rene leans in and says, “You’re in charge of making sure I don’t embarrass Everlong family name tonight”. I was interested in this girl and all I took that as was her telling me she wanted me to be around her all night. I thought of that as a good thing. I told her “Sure” and just tried to keep a tally of how many drinks she’d had as the night progressed. I didn’t do a very good job of keeping track, mostly because she kept encouraging me to drink and because she kept telling me she “wants to have a fun night”.

I hate to see the evening sun go down

The drinks kept coming, the people kept laughing and having a good time, and the sun slowly sank behind the wall out back of The Chesterfield.

We’d started with a pretty big group that Friday night. We must have had about 20 people there at the peak of it. Everyone was enjoying themselves but as is usually the case on a Friday night, people had places to be. The numbers began to drop as some of the Everlong crew and all of Rene’s colleagues, including the not-so-creepy creepy guy, headed on their merry way.

That meant that Rene, who had now had 3 glasses of wine and was in no shape to drive, would be hanging out with us until she was either sober enough to drive, or decided to get a cab home instead.

Tonight, we feast!

By this point it was time to eat, and we were down to about 9 people. We headed over to the curry joint over the road who were always good at finding a way to fit us in. They squished a few tables together, shuffled some other diners around and managed to squeeze us in.

So there I am at the table with, among others, Tash, Angelica, and Rene. Each of these ladies had been showing me significant interest and I was just trying to keep cool in an unusual situation.

Out comes the food! It’s bloody great food there and everyone was chowing down and yapping it up. It was great!

I wish everyone would stop treating me like I’m Tim Everlong’s daughter

Rene was being quite friendly, and I, as usual, was trying not to reciprocate too much. She kept pointing out when I didn’t have a drink or if I was a bit reluctant to be too jokey with her or whatever, and I pointed out to her that it’s a risky thing for me to be getting too friendly with my boss’s daughter.

Rene looks at me with this frustrated, annoyed, half-defeated expression and says “I wish everyone would stop treating me like I’m Time Everlong’s daughter. Why can’t anyone just see me as my own person? Why can’t I just be Rene?”

It took me aback. I was surprised partly because Rene seemed to always be so associated with her family and I’d never noticed that it bothered her. It never occurred to me that anyone could be unhappy to be associated with a prominent family who are known for their charitable contributions and successful business ventures.

In the moment, though, I could see that it was a weight on her, so I decided I’d be a bit less guarded when dealing with her.

And then shit started to get weird…

Tash is sitting at the other end of the table, which made it difficult for us to talk directly. To remedy this, she starts messaging flirty things directly to my phone. Angelica, meanwhile is sitting across from me and has decided it’d be fun to start playing footsies with me under the table. And Rene is, of course, sitting right beside me and leaning into me, being very flirty and inappropriately touchy feely with me.

I admit that I was feeling pretty good about the fact that all three of these ladies were vying for my attention, but it’s not like I set up the situation to turn out that way. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I don’t like things to be complicated and I don’t like drama. Complicated usually means stressful, and I just don’t want stress in my life.

Anyway, all three girls were flirting with me and I was trying to figure out how to deal with the situation. Luckily, with a table of 9 people in a very busy restaurant there’s enough cross-talk that these shenanigans are going unheard by the other people at the table, which was a nice bonus, but it was still a very weird situation to be in.

It’s not like I was doing a good job of calming things down either. With Angelica being so friendly under the table and Rene being so friendly above it, and me with about 4 pints of beer in me and Rene demanding that I treat her like I’d treat anyone else, I was stupid enough to suggest Angelica and Rene should kiss. Angelica looked into it, and Rene half considered it but then laughed it off.

I think that’s pretty solid evidence that I was already not making the best decisions that night.

Tears in heaven

Just to add a bit more chaos to the mix, a little after the suggestion of a girl-girl kiss, I mentioned to Rene how highly I think of her sister, Laura. I praised how smart and sweet Laura is and said that I think her father must be so proud of her for running the office that I work at.

Rene suddenly starts crying, silently while looking at me.

I had absolutely no idea why there were tears running down her face from me complimenting her sister. I leaned in and asked her what’s going on and tried to make sure nobody else could see that she was crying. She tells me “It’s nothing. It’s OK. I’ll be fine. Please don’t worry about it.”

But she’d charged me with not letting her embarrass the family name, not to mention the fact that I liked her, so of course I was worried why she was crying. The last thing I wanted was to make her cry. Sure, I was being cheeky suggesting she kiss Angelica, but I genuinely cared about Rene. I didn’t want her to be upset, least of all because I said or did the wrong thing.

I didn’t see how complimenting Laura could possibly upset Rene but no matter how many times I asked Rene, she just kept telling me not to worry about it, so I stopped asking and tried to carry on with the night.

Karaoke dreaming

Everyone was finishing up with dinner and people were deciding what to do with the rest of their night. Rene had overcome what ever it was that had caused to her to cry. Angelica was still playing footsies with me under the table and Tash was still messaging me from the other end of the table and I was trying not to encourage any of them because, once Rene started crying, I was too worried about her to be very interested in flirting and playing around.

Then Rene sprang to life and told the entire table that she really wants to go do Karaoke and she wanted to know who would come with her. The response was not favourable. Everyone there was pretty happy to chill out with a few more drinks and then call it a night.

I didn’t want Rene driving or heading off by herself, and she’d just been crying too, so I told her I’d go with her. I was hoping that belting out some Karaoke might raise her spirits and she had charged me with keeping an eye on her. I won’t pretend I wasn’t keen to spend time with her alone, too, but that wasn’t the main reason I volunteered.

So Rene and I said our goodbyes and headed out of the restaurant.

Costume change

Having come straight from work, I still had my uniform on. My uniform only consisted of a polo shirt with the company name on it, but I thought it best to get out of that before heading into the city. I told Rene that we’d have to do a quick stop at my place so I could change, and then we’d be on our way. It’s a bit of a walk from that Restaurant to my shitty little apartment, so I asked Rene if she’d rather walk or catch a cab. She said something like “It’s a nice night, let’s walk and get some fresh air”.

That walk would normally take about 20 minutes if you’re stone cold sober, but we sure weren’t that night. It was pretty fun though. Rene seemed to be full of life again and we were laughing and playing around the whole way. She was comparing certain colleagues to certain cartoon characters and trying to show me on her iPad that they were twins.

It was really nice. I was finally getting to spend a bit of time with Rene away from everyone else and it seemed like whatever had made her cry had been and gone. I’ve had a few walks like that with girls. There’s just something about those occasions. There’s a tension in the air, but it’s a good tension. If you’ve experienced something like that, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about.

Trollied

I mentioned that the walk was taking longer than normal. A side effect of this was that Rene’s shoes had started to get uncomfortable and were hurting her feet. Rene spots an abandoned shopping trolly and asks me if I’ll push her in that.

“Seriously?” I asked her. “Yeah, come on! It’ll be fun!”

Like this, sans groceries

Like this, sans groceries

You know how challenging it is to control a shopping trolly at the supermarket on those perfectly flat floors? You know how you’re constantly battling that one wheel that’s just doing its own damned thing? You know how a trolly just doesn’t give a shit about where you want it to go, be it in a straight line or to change direction?

Yeah, well you should try it on footpaths and roads on hilly streets when the cargo is your boss’s daughter! It was a challenge to say the least!

Again though, it was heaps of fun. We were giggling like school kids. I guess part of it was knowing that we were doing something completely ridiculous that we absolutely shouldn’t have been doing. Another part of that giggling might have had something to do with the fact that we were also getting closer and closer to my place…

Next time

I’ll tell you all about what went down with my boss’s daughter in my shitty little apartment. Spoiler alert, we didn’t end up going to karaoke.

Crazy bitch tip: If you can’t walk in your “shoes” for 20 minutes without suffering significant pain, stop calling them shoes.

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