Tag Archives: manipulation

Age is not just a number

30 Jan

Young women have a tendency to think that “age doesn’t matter”.

Let me tell you something, it does matter. The reason it matters is that emotional and mental maturity is something that you cannot recognise in others until you yourself are mentally and emotionally mature. And therein lies the problem.

Young women (and men) aren’t always mature enough to understand the difference between someone their own age and someone 20 years older than them. This can lead to the older person taking advantage of the younger one.

Think about it like this… you know when you pretend to pull a coin out from behind a kid’s ear?

How friggin cute is that?

Anyway, the kid will legitimately believe that you have magical powers purely because you know how to trick them by doing something they don’t yet understand. You don’t have to be much older than your subject to get away with that trick, either. I reckon a 5 year old could easily trick a toddler with this simple illusion.

When it comes to people who are a little older, the tricks are just as well known, but they’re far less pleasant. Usually, the trick is “Let’s have sex” and the method is “By whatever deception or bullshit trickery needed”. And the older person can get away with this shit purely because they know things the younger person doesn’t yet understand.

There are a bunch of dickheads out there in the world who call themselves “Pick Up Artists”. Personally, I think these guys are arseholes but whatever, my point is that a lot of these Pick Up Artists go around tricking girls into being attracted to them. They do this by manipulating subconscious instincts and taking advantage of insecurities.

And the bigger the age gap, the easier it is for someone to get away with this shit. In fact, the bigger the age gap, the less capable the older person has to be to get what they want.

And I guess that’s why so many complete and utter losers end up chasing very young women, or as they’re more correctly known: children.

So just remember, age is not just a number. An age gap can mean the difference between dealing with someone who is treating you as an equal, or potentially dealing with someone who is intentionally taking advantage of what they know and you don’t.

There’s an old rule about this which can be used to figure out a reasonable age gap. Halve the older person’s age and add 7 to figure out the youngest person they should be seeing. So, if the older person is 40, they shouldn’t go out with anyone younger than 27 (half of 40 plus 7). If the older person is 28, they shouldn’t see anyone younger than 23. If they older person is 18, they might be ok to see a 16 year old, though I think that’s where the rule starts to fail because there’s a big difference between 16 and 18, but you get the idea.

Crazy bitch tip: Sometimes being young means that you don’t even understand why certain rules exist, but there’s usually a damned good reason.

To go on a date

29 Jan

According to Louis CK, women are crazy to even go out on a date with a guy.

Keep in mind that Louis has two daughters who are probably nearing dating age, so this might have something to do with the fear that causes him.

Crazy bitch tip: According to Louis CK,  you should be terrified to go out on a date with a man.

Origins #5

2 Jan

I’d just turned 31 and was settling back into life after a big holiday.

Life wasn’t exactly what I’d expected but I thought I was in a fairly good situation given where I’d started. I’ll tell you more about why having a decent job and a shitty little apartment counted as doing pretty well to me when I explain how I grew up, but that can wait for now. Anyway, I’d just hit 31 and started thinking about where my life was at. I’d also just hooked up with an attractive woman who was 9 years older than me and fallen into a friends-with-benefits relationship with her.

Cougar town

It was pretty cruisy. I don’t think we ever even went out for a meal together. Angelica would come around to my place late-night, 2 or 3 times a week. We’d have some fun and that was that. I don’t think either of us were under any illusions that it would go anywhere. From a sexual experience perspective, it was perfect for me. Angelica was experienced enough to know what she was doing and adult enough to not be self-conscious. I was experienced enough to keep up, but I still learned a few new things along the way as well.

I wish there were more women in the world like Angelica.

Gus oozes on

Back on the work front, I was just trying to weather the idiot storm until something or someone brought some change to the situation.

Gus, the project manager who had loaded so much stress on my shoulders in the previous year continued to do a poor job as a manager. We thought Gus was being pressured by Tim Everlong to get our division to be more productive. The impression Gus gave us was that our division was hanging in the balance, potentially ready to be shut down, so we had to work like crazy for a little while (already over a year) to make sure we all kept our jobs.

Unfortunately for those of us who worked below him, we didn’t realise what Gus was really up to.

One of the methods Gus would use to ‘inspire’ us was pinning a printed out image of a flounder (that’s right, the fish) to the desk of whoever he decided had been floundering. Floundering in this case was meant to suggest that you weren’t doing enough work. So you’d come into work, already dejected just to have to be there, and after days of bashing your head against a brick wall in an effort to achieve some ridiculous, pointless, and often impossible work request and discover that fucking printed picture of a flounder on your desk. I don’t think I’m easily affected by things like that but when you’re already stressed and frustrated, copping an insult on your desk for everyone else to see is a pretty gut-wrenching thing. I certainly didn’t like it, but it hit other staff even harder. One lady started speaking very, very loudly about how offensive it was and I’m certain that I saw more than one other staff member cry as a result of seeing that flounder on their desk.

Seriously! Who does this shit? How is that supposed to positively improve an already declining office morale?


I remember going into Gus’ office one time and catching him listening to project management podcasts. I thought he was listening to them to keep himself up-to-date but he proceeds to tell me that he doesn’t have any project management qualifications, and he’s trying to catch up on that.

That explained a few things.

Actually, that explained a lot. An incompetent manager is a very dangerous thing, but Gus wasn’t just incompetent, he was controlling and manipulative. I didn’t realise that at the time because he was so bad at his job. I just thought he was incapable of managing things well. I wish I’d been paying more attention to him and had picked up the fact that he had a little plan of his own that he was slowly implementing.

Time marches on

Work was shit but I was going out for heaps of dinners and innumerable drinking sessions and that was a great way to help me stop thinking about how shit work had become. Angelica was making regular visits at the time as well and what we were getting up to was another good way to just be in the moment.

At the back of my mind, it had dawned on me that I should start thinking a bit more about where I want to be in life, and what I need to do to work towards that. While everything I was doing outside of work was fun, it was temporary. Aside from some happy memories there was nothing left of it afterwards. I think that’s what your 20s is for, and because I’d spent my 20s running my own business, I missed out on a lot of that. I guess I was trying to catch up a bit but it was mostly just a way to distract myself from the difficulties I’d been dealing with at work.

I know it sounds like I’m bitching about the job I had. The job was only shit because of Gus. I really loved working with my colleagues. I loved that I could walk to work from my place and I loved that I got paid a good wage. It really was just how terrible a job Gus was doing that was making the job so unbearable.

A little ray of sunshine

One little ray of light in my workday was chatting with Laura Everlong in the morning everyday. I didn’t know exactly what was happening but I felt like we were becoming closer. There was something I couldn’t quite put my finger on, but I knew she was being more open with me. I was getting the vibe that Laura wasn’t with her boyfriend anymore, even though she mentioned him often.

It’s difficult to convert that vibe into words. I just knew there was something changing there, and I liked it. I liked Laura a lot. I was pretty good at not allowing myself to get too much of a crush on her but I admired her and thought of her as a rare mix of soft, elegant, strong, and beautiful.

Messages start coming

At the same time, I started receiving text messages from Rene Everlong. I didn’t give her my phone number, so that was a bit interesting in itself, but they were tame little messages so I didn’t think too much of it. She’d tell me how she’s training for a fun-run, or that she saw me crossing at some traffic lights, or whatever.

Whenever a message came through from her, I’d smile and think “She’s such a goofball”. I liked her and I liked that she was messaging me but I didn’t want any trouble so I was always only cautiously courteous in my replies. Rene had also taken to emailing me at my work email address. The emails were getting longer and more friendly as the weeks went by after the work party.

Between the emails, text messages and random facebook stuff I was probably talking to Rene 4 or 5 times a week. On top of that, she’d often stop by at my office building for a chat because she worked so close by and her sister ran our office. Looking back, it’s easy to see there was an escalation of communication between Rene and me. The messages were increasingly friendly and personal. They were coming through more and more often. There were little hints about times and places of where she’d be and what she’d be doing.

Even with all the communication, I still had it in my head that if Rene wanted to go out with me, she could ask, otherwise, nothing was going to happen.

What I wanted at that time

Turning 31 had made me think about things and the most important insight that came out of that was that I didn’t want to waste my time. I was having fun with Angelica and I was having fun in my social life but I was also conscious that I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life just drifting around.

I’d always known deep down inside that everything would work out. I’d always had a confidence that I can’t really explain. I just knew I would get what I wanted. After turning 30 and realising that things hadn’t yet panned out however, doubt had started to creep in.

Doubt is an extraordinarily dangerous thing. I’ve always been a ‘go with the flow’ sort of guy but that little bit of doubt had pushed me to decided I better start making things happen. I figured that if I didn’t start pushing for the things I wanted, I might never get them. I was still confident I’d get what I wanted out of life, but I was trying to take on board the sentiment that you don’t get what you want unless you make things happen for yourself.

What making things happen meant to me by that point was finding a nice girl who I had a real connection with, and have some fun going out to dinners and shows with her. To me the long term wasn’t so important, I figured being with a girl who I was really into was the most important part and I could figure the rest of it out later.

I had enough money rolling in that I could afford to show someone a good time and still cover my mortgage, and I wanted to share my time with someone in a more intimate way than what had been happening with Angelica. As fun as that was, I was after an emotional connection.

Passing thoughts

I wasn’t hung up on any of this stuff. It was there in the back of my mind but I wasn’t thinking about it very much. I was more focused on getting by and trying to enjoy life. I still assumed things would work out if I just play it smart and do what I should do.

Despite feeling a bit doubtful about some things, I was feeling very confident about others. I was managing to find ingenious solutions to the ridiculous bullshit Gus was asking for. I was getting a lot of interest from women too, and not just women I knew. Women were flirting with me everywhere I went and I was feeling very, very confident as a result.

I guess the fact that I’d lost 20kg in the previous 2 years was helping, and all the positive attention I’d been getting had given me a bit of a swagger in my step. All I needed to do was to get the situation with Gus sorted out, find a cool girl, and life would be glorious.

And along came September

I mentioned how everything was escalating with Rene. It wasn’t just with her. It was with Laura, with work, with my social life, my self-reflection, it was everything. My whole life was ramping up towards something.

And that leads me to September 2010, the month my boss’s daughter stayed the night at my place. I’ll tell you about that next time.

Crazy bitch tip: Think about what other people are going through before you dump your crazy shit on them and expect them to solve it all for you.

That escalated quickly

11 May

Crazy bitch tip: everything you send to people via text can be shown to other people, or worse yet, be put on the internet until the end of time.


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Treat ’em mean, keep em keen… to GTFO

16 Feb

Treat ’em mean, keep em keen… to GTFO

There’s an old adage that I hear from time to time: “Treat ’em mean, keep em keen.” It does actually work a lot of the time but that doesn’t make it a good approach to relationships. This particular piece of advice is spouted at both men and women, but we’re all about how not to come across as a crazy bitch, so we’ll focus on the female side.

If you intentionally mess with the feelings of the person you’re interested in, you’re going to be seen as a crazy bitch. At first, it’ll probably only be the guy’s friends who see you as a nut job because a guy who is really into you will find excuses for your poor behaviour. Then it’ll progress to confrontations about how you’re treating him and you might fluke yourself some awesome make-up sex by convincing him you’re sorry. Enjoy that while it lasts.

Eventually, he’s going to realise that you’re intentionally pulling shitty moves just to illicit a response from him and that’s going to piss him off in a massive way. If you’re not interested in him, you’re a crazy bitch for doing any of that rubbish in the first place but if you are interested in him, you’re slowly convincing him that you’re manipulative, mean and hostile; most blokes I know don’t rate those as especially attractive traits. In fact, realising that someone has been fucking with your head is one of those ‘kicked in the guts’ moments and can trigger some seriously angry and unpredictable responses. Be very careful when it blows up on you!

So, if you don’t want to be a crazy bitch, or at least you don’t want people to see you as a crazy bitch, don’t pull these douche manoeuvres. You’re either going to push away the guys you like or fuck with the heads of guys you’re not even interested in, and no good is going to come from it either way. You might get away with it a few times but in the long run, it’ll catch up to you.

I’ve linked a thread full of stories of men telling stories about women treating themselves or their friends poorly. Have a look through their responses to see just how lowly we rate this sort of thing.

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