Tag Archives: money

Bitch in business

18 Dec

Alrighty. I’m going to start by pointing out that I’ve worked in plenty of offices and that I’ve been running my own business since 2003. I’ve also worked in some very large organisations and have managed projects that had prices with lots of zeros at the end. Maybe I have a right to talk about business, maybe I don’t. And I understand that, according to a lot of people, the fact that I’m a 35 year old, white, male means that I’m speaking from some delusional and privileged perspective, but I did grow up dirt poor and had absolutely no support from my family, so like it or not, I reckon I’ve earned my point of view on this particular topic.

This is apparently what it's like to be a young, white, male. I must have missed the meeting when I was getting by on toast and water, until the toaster broke.

This is apparently what it’s like to be a young, white, male but I must have missed the meeting where they were supposed to throw all that easily attained money at me.

I’ve worked with all sorts of people and I’ve watched as my friends from school have progressed into the working world and where they’ve ended up now, which is about 15 years later. One thing that’s become increasingly clearer to me is that you don’t have to be a bitch or an arsehole to get ahead. As a matter of fact, I’d say the opposite is true. I won’t pretend it’s as easy for a woman to get herself established in business as it is for a man, but just because it’s extra difficult for women doesn’t make it an easy task for all the men who want to do well.

I think there are a lot of people out there telling themselves that success is more difficult for them to achieve than it is for everyone else and I think that’s a big load of bullshit. I think that’s just people discovering that something is more difficult than they anticipated and making excuses for the gap between how tough they thought it would be, and how tough it really is.

Business is competition. People treat it like a sport. They get all worked up about gaining as many ‘trophies’ as they can, except in business terms a trophy is a high-growth quarter, or landing a big account, or putting out a product that does really well. Let’s not forget that if it were easy to do these things, everyone would be doing them.

There are literally millions of other people out there trying to be successful at business as well. You don’t get to be successful in anything ultra-competitive without working your arse off at it, purely because everyone else who is after that same thing is working their arse off for it, too. If you want to be a success, you have to earn it. Moaning about what’s holding you back is just a good way to waste time that you could be putting towards earning the success you’re chasing.

Expect a lot of this vibe in the business world

Expect a lot of this sort of vibe in the business world

Of course things need to change and women need to be given a fair playing field, but the reality is, the people who are already successful want to retain all their wealth and clout, so fair or not, they won’t be giving up any of that power they have without a fight.

Yeah, I have run into some absolutely atrocious people in the business world, and yes some of them have done well. It’s funny though, they’re always the most unhappy people. They’re manipulative, controlling, bitter, little butt-holes and they’re never just arseholes at work, they’re just as horrible in their home and social lives as well. They’re monsters, pure and simple. Think of them as cannibals. Sure, they’re eating well, but they end up lonely pretty quick.

Cannibals: if they're well fed, you can bet they're lonely.

Cannibals: if they’re well fed, you can bet they’re lonely.

The way those little monsters get ahead is by cheating. They take credit for other people’s work. They start in-fighting within an organisation to try and benefit from the fallout. They fuck with people’s heads just to try to keep them from noticing the other dodgey shit they’ve been up to in an effort to get more power and more control. I’ve seen men who act like this and I’ve seen women who act like this.

The undeniable fact is that it’s far easier to win when you cheat. Look at old one-nut Lance Armstrong, the Tour de France ‘champion’. He took out 7 ‘victories’ by knowingly breaking the rules. Sure they’re taking them away from him now, but you’re never going to know the names of the people he was competing with that were actually playing by the rules, because that scumbag stole all the glory they were entitled to. That same shit happens in business. Ethics go out the window when the dollar signs start showing up.

Lance Armstrong: Cheats to win, doesn't have the balls to admit it ;

Lance Armstrong: “champion”

 

What’s awesome though, is that there are still people out there being successful in their chosen field who manage to keep their ethics and not waste their energy complaining about gender inequality, racism, religious prejudice and whatever else. Life isn’t fair. Business isn’t fair. Don’t expect it to be. Don’t waste time complaining about it. After you’re successful, that’s when you should start fighting for equality, because nobody can tell you you’re just a whinger if you’ve already succeeded despite the inequalities that exist.

It is possible to get ahead by being a bitch in business, but doing so will probably make you an unhappy person, so what’s the point? What’s the gain if you’re cashed up but you’re soul-crushingly lonely because you can’t trust anyone, and they can’t trust you.

This belief that being a bitch is the only way for women to get ahead in business is just a flat-out lie. I’ve worked with some extremely successful women who are straight-up lovely, easy going people. The became successful because they understood that they needed to work harder and smarter than everyone they were in competition with. They did that, and shock-horror, it worked out in their favour.

Being a bitch is a bad thing. You don’t have to be a bitch to assert your opinion or disagree with someone. It is possible to be female and make a point without coming off like a bitch. We call it being assertive. When you were a kid, did you do what your mother said? Of course you did! And why? Because she had an air of authority about her!

Have an air of authority, like this, but with less spoon and angry pointing.

Have an air of authority like this, but with less spoonage and minimize the angry pointing.

That’s what some people are missing when they go into business and that’s what causes them to feel trodden on. It’s not just women who experience this. Men have the exact same problem. When a meek and quiet guy tries to talk at a meeting, he’ll be talked over. When a ‘soft’ person tries to negotiate with someone aggressive, the soft person comes off second best because they’re not on the attack.

When you start getting into the business world, you have to get it out of your head that people are going to be nice to you and treat you with respect. They will mock you and tease you and try to hurt your feeling because they’re trying to beat you. They’re trying to crush you so there’s one less person to compete with. Don’t stand for that shit. Get that air of authority about you. Make it clear you’re not going to be pushed around. That doesn’t mean you have to be a bitch, it just means don’t be a pushover!

To clarify:

  • Speaking up when you need to speak up is not being a bitch.
  • Voicing your opinion is not being a bitch.
  • Not backing down when you shouldn’t back down is not being a bitch.
  • Demanding to earn as much money as anyone else who does the same work as you is not being a bitch.

Versus:

  • Spreading rumours about a colleague or competitor is being a bitch.
  • Making jokes about the size of your colleagues or competitors genitals is being a bitch.
  • Giving a colleague or business associate the ‘cold shoulder’ or ‘silent treatment’ because you’re unhappy with them is being a bitch.
  • Getting annoyed at the only guy in your team because he doesn’t think your personal drama should impact your ability to meet a project’s deadline is being a bitch.

And, finally:

  • Expecting to get ahead in business without having to outdo your competitors isn’t exactly ‘being a bitch’ but it’s not going to get you anywhere.

Crazy bitch tip: Instead of focusing on being a bitch in business, focus on doing a better job than your competitors.

Crazy bitch bonus tip: Very, very, very few white women can rap well enough to do it on a music video.

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The casino

22 Nov

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Self-evaluation

29 Mar

Today we will continue from the previous post about what is, and is not, appropriate and extend a little further into making sure to evaluate the decisions you are making before you go through with them.

Let’s start with a clear and simple distinction you can make to simplify your decision making: you will be judged based on your actions, not on your thoughts. Take a minute and consider that separation.

What I’m getting at here, is that you can think about whatever you want. You can calculate, plan, and ponder to your heart’s content and get away with it. And just quietly, everybody does. Every person on the face of the earth thinks the occasional dodgy thought. Personally, I tend to think about how I’d approach getting away with “the perfect crime”, but that’s all it is, thinking. Maybe I’ll turn that thinking into a movie script one day but you can be damned sure I won’t actually go out and try to commit the crime because… well… that’d be stupid and kinda crazy.

Like I mentioned, it’s your actions that will be judged. Your actions. You might not have control over the thoughts that run through your head but you can control how you behave in response to those thoughts. Let me present an example of someone who had a thought and just kinda ran with it…

This is a woman who was faced with a problem, that being that she was unhappy in her relationship, and came up with a potential solution, which was to have him killed by a hitman and to pay for it using the life insurance she would receive upon her husband’s death. Sure, that’s one way to go about it but there are a few less life-ending options. Here are a few I’ve come up with:

  • Tell your husband you’re unhappy and want a divorce
  • Tell someone else to tell your husband you’re unhappy and want a divorce
  • Write a letter to your husband to tell him you’re unhappy and want a divorce
  • File for a divorce and send him the papers
  • Leave without telling him

The woman in the video clearly ranks as a crazy bitch but she’s well and truly above what we usually talk about here. This is sociopath, psychotic level, proper clinical crazy. This is off the charts, holy crap, how-can-she-talk-about-murdering-her-husband-and-laugh-at-the-same-time? crazy.

The thing is, the same principles still apply. If this vapid capsule or self-centered, self-gratifying, pure evil, soulless, demon-woman had just stopped and considered her line of thinking, and thrown in a bit of self-evaluation, she might never have become known as that fucking monster who giggled as she attempted to pay a murderer to end the life of a man she vowed to love forever, and all because she thought a divorce would be a hassle.

As scary as it might be, had she just stopped herself from acting on her thoughts, nobody would know that this creature was lurking amongst us. The only positive is that she went about it all in such a stupid way that she got caught and is going to be away from the rest of us all for a very long time.

Crazy bitch tip: When considering potential decisions, always give preference to options that do not involve murder. Please?

If you want to get a good night’s sleep you, probably best not think about the fact that there are people out there deciding that it’s better to have their husband murdered outside of the family home because, y’know, they don’t want to frighten off the friend they want to move in with them after the hit. omfg indeed.

 

UPDATE!

I’ve just found a video of the same woman speaking to the judge at her sentencing. Check it out…

The little smiles that slip through onto her face between the crocodile tears and puppy dog eyes terrified me but what terrified me more was the fact that her husband also plead for leniency from the judge on her behalf.

A tip for the guys: If your wife makes efforts towards having you killed, stay away from her and don’t listen to her lies.

Holy mother of crap are there some impressively crazy people out in the world.

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