Tag Archives: nuts

Miata been a bad idea

10 Mar

miata

Long story short, the two women in the above picture (credit to Reddit user speednub1), saw a car they have a low opinion of and decided to climb inside it and stomp around on the seats in their high heels.

The general population’s reaction to this image has thus far been a resounding “What the fuck?” and the words bitch and crazy have been pointed repeatedly at the women pictured, among other, far less pleasant terms.Clearly there are some people out there who don’t understand why this scenario has inspired uproar, otherwise this picture wouldn’t exist in the first place. So, I’m going to attempt to clarify.What they did wrong

  1. The two women in the picture are intentionally treating someone else’s property poorly, knowing full well that their actions may damage that property.The two women are enjoying their efforts to attempt to damage someone else’s property.The reason these two women are happily attempting to damage someone else’s property because it doesn’t match their personal tastes
  2. .The two women are so ignorant that they fully believe their actions are acceptable. They have intentionally shared the fun they had attempting to damage someone else’s property publicly via social media, complete with easily personally identifiable features.By  proudly noting, at least 12 hours after the incident occurred, that “heels were intact,” they have pointed out that the incident wasn’t a random, alcohol fueled mistake but instead something they do not regret at all a full day later.

Why people are angry

As a society, we’ve agreed on a few thousand rules. We call them laws. They pretty much all come back to the simplest rule of all, known as The Golden Rule. It states: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” It’s a damned simple rule and it’s extremely effective at keeping society functional.

Note that the Golden Rule does not include the clause: “unless you don’t like their taste in cars”; or: “unless you think it will be funny to your friends”; or: “unless you have nice legs and pretty hair”; or: “unless you’re lucky enough to live in a country so wealthy that you feel entitled to judge people based on their financial expenditures”; or any other clauses.

Selfish and self centred

If I had to boil it down, the reason the actions of the two women in the picture is so offensive is because it so unbelievably selfish and self centred. It inspires an immediate reaction of “who the fuck do you think you are?” What they’re doing is openly flouting one of the core concepts of society.

They’re treating someone else like a piece of shit and laughing about it. They’re doing so because they feel entitled to, because they think themselves ‘better’ than someone who would buy a Miata, and for some reason they think they are exempt from the rules we’re all expected to follow. Plus, they’re ‘rubbing it in’ by gloating about it.

We don’t hate them because they’re beautiful, but it sure doesn’t help their cause.

Don’t get me wrong, people would be furious even if these two women weren’t attractive, but the fact that they are just reminds us all that we know attractive young woman already have a head start in life, and knowing that only makes it more offensive when we see them taking advantage of others or ignoring social norms.

How could they have avoided this?

It’s not surprising to learn that there are people out there who think that their opinion is more important than everyone else’s, or that the rules don’t apply to them, or that they’re better than everyone else, or that they don’t respect other people. As much as we might wish that weren’t true, we know all that there are people out there who think that way.

And that’s where the girls in the picture went wrong. They went beyond thinking in a way that the majority of us consider revolting, they acted on it. If they’d just walked past that Miata and commented on how ‘hideous’ it is to them, nothing would have come of it, but they didn’t. They climbed into a stranger’s car and stomped all over the seats in their heels.

That decision between “should I just think about this or should I actually do it” is the difference between being known as “those two cute girls” and “those crazy bitches”.

Crazy bitch tip: You are not more important than anyone else, and you don’t get to damage other people’s things just because you don’t like them.

 

 

Video

People will assume you’re a crazy bitch if you speak like one

7 Jun

After this blonde banshee gets off the train to attack the man who so inconsiderately put his bag on the floor near her foot, and he slaps her square in the gob, even the women on the train respond by saying things like:

  • “She’s crazy!”
  • “She’s mental!”
  • “She’s actually attacking him!”
  • “She’s out of her mind!”
  • “He shouldn’t have obviously hit her, but…”

When people have seen a man smack you in the face and they still are focused on how you’re behaving, you’ve got to be doing something seriously wrong. Normally, people would dive in to defend the woman from the horrible man that would dare hit her, but not here! The whole train has evaluated the young woman as a crazy bitch. That’s next level right there.

Crazy bitch tip: Don’t swear at strangers. Don’t swear in public. Don’t attack strangers. Don’t chase after strangers who have already smacked you in the face.

The safe word

4 Jun

The Safe WordCrazy bitch tip: No. That is not the safe word.

Crazy bitch says what?

11 Apr An overly attached girlfriend meme with the caption: if you try to leave me, I'll punch myself in the face and tell the cops you did it.

An overly attached girlfriend meme with the caption: if you try to leave me, I'll punch myself in the face and tell the cops you did it.Crazy bitch tip: If the only way you can keep your guy around is by threatening to frame him for domestic violence, the relationship is already over and you’re acting like a fucking head case.

Pipe girl (Do not hit people with a pipe)

14 Feb

In Russia, there’s an issue with people not respecting the road laws. You’ve probably seen the videos of cars being thrown into all sorts of unbelievably crazy positions by Russian drivers. There are so many videos of that stuff out there because one way to keep your insurance premiums within a remotely bearable price is to have a dash-cam on your car, which allows the footage to show who was at fault in any accident.

You can understand why there’s a movement to stop this ridiculous driving, or at a minimum to make sure people don’t drive on the footpath. And that’s why there’s Stop a Douchebag.

Now, I’m not in anyway saying that women are the only douchebags on the Russian roads. Far from it! There appear to be douchebags of extraordinary proportions of all genders, races and religions, driving around Russia likes it’s their own personal Mario Kart. I’m only referring to one specific douchebag who appears in the latest episode of Stop a Douchebag. When I saw Pipe Girl, I had to share!

Pipe Girl is not happy about being told not to drive on the footpath. Pipe Girl believes that owning a vehicle gives her the right to drive wherever the hell she wants and that if anyone happens to get in the way of her vehicle, that’s their own bloody fault! On top of this, if Pipe Girl hits you with her car, she wants to make sure you don’t do anything as horrible as leaving a mark on it! I mean, of course, it’s the pedestrian’s fault for being in the way of her car on the footpath, so if the pedestrian leaves their blood or whatever on her car after she hits them, it’s obvious that the pedestrian is to blame.

Pipe Girl is sure coming off as a crazy bitch already, but once she breaks the big metal pipe out and starts hitting the pedestrians who were so callously walking on the footpath like they had some sort of right to be there, she pretty much seals her fate as bearing the right to the label ‘crazy bitch’ for as long as people have access to this video. The astonishing part to me is where the people she was attacking take the pipe away from her and she pleads to have it back, promising that she’ll leave once she has it. Eventually, they give it back to her and… surprise, surprise! She attacks them with the pipe they’ve just handed back to her. That’s some double crazy bitch activity.

Crazy bitch tip: Do not hit people with a pipe.

 

Don’t go nuts about nuts

9 Feb

The 40 year old daughter of the chairman of Korean Airlines has gone through quite the fall from grace after throwing a massive tantrum on a plane when a steward dared to serve her macadamia nuts in a bag, rather than on a plate. The videos below explain in a bit more detail.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The moral of this story is, you may believe that having a powerful father exempts you from treating your fellow humans with respect, but you will eventually go too far and receive your comeuppance. If you come from a wealthy, powerful family, don’t go around acting like a crazy bitch. Instead, be thankful for the ridiculously fortunate position you happened to be born into.

The fact that this woman is 40 only makes it worse. It would still be unacceptable if these ridiculous actions had been carried out by a teenager, but at least being young and immature might cover some of the farcical nature of the events. It’s embarrassing for everyone involved when you see a grown woman throw a tantrum.

Crazy bitch tip: Do not crack the shits if someone serves your macadamia nuts in a bag instead of on a plate.

Video

Do not drive on the footpath

7 Jan

The fact that the road you want to drive on is busy does not mean you’re allowed to start driving on the sidewalk.

I kinda like the fact that the judge made her wear a sign indicating that she’s an idiot.

Crazy bitch tip: The rules apply to you, too.

 

Video

Tantrums don’t solve problems

19 Nov

Tantrums don’t solve your problems. When you’re a kid at least you can blame the fact that you chuck the occasional massively childishness tantie on the fact that you’re actually a child. When you’re a fully grown woman, you should know better than to kick and scream like dying cockroach just because you can’t get your way.

Granted, the husband shouldn’t have posted this video. If he really loved his wife, he wouldn’t have been willing to offer her up for the world to mock. Mind you, with that sort of behaviour, you can see why he might have fallen out of love with her.

Here he is defending why he posted the video:

I don’t know if I’m being one sided here, maybe I’m just on this guy’s side because I’m a guy too, but doesn’t he seem like a normal, level-headed bloke in both the original video and in the interview?

But hey, if I am being one sided, at least the chair kicker is single now. Have at her if you’re into that sort of thing, fellas.

Crazy bitch tip: When your argument has degraded to the point that you’re kicking a chair, it’s time to consider a new approach.

Help

11 Sep

If you’re going through a tough time follow this link, you can always come back to this article later.

I started this site as a joke. I had the weirdest run with women for a few years there. No matter where I turned or if I was looking for a girl or not, I had crazy coming at me from all directions. The only good thing about that situation is that I got a bunch of funny/weird/creepy stories out of it. What better place to unleash those stories than on a website called How Not To Be A Crazy Bitch? I thought it’d be fun trying to turn the stories into something other women could learn from, and that’d also help reduce the hate that I suspected would be directed at me for daring to call any woman a crazy bitch.

Even though it started as a joke, this site is actually doing fairly well. I’m getting far more visitors than I’d ever have imagined when I started and it’s been a lot of fun so far. Making the animations was really fun and I’ve got a few other things up my sleeve that I think will get some laughs too.

One of the interesting things about running a website is seeing what lead people to the site. I’ll see the search terms that got viewers to the site and sometimes they’re just hilarious, for instance:

  • “how to not br s bitch”
  • “why men dont like crazy bitches”
  • “porno crazy one in the world”
  • “crazy bitch chicken -“
  • “how to bind shoes’s less”
  • “he in the friend zone he told her that he love her now she treat him like a brother he in the friend zone”

But those are one off, random searches. The most common search terms all seem to be about the same thing:

There's a trend here...

There’s a trend here…

Aside from the odd search for curvy girls and Janeane Garofalo’s butt, there actually seems to be a lot of people out there looking for real help. When I put this site together as a joke I just didn’t see that coming! So, now that I’m getting more and more visitors, I’ve decided to offer something useful for those people genuinely looking for help.

There’s now a Help page available in the main menu. The Help page includes links to resources intended specifically for people who are going through difficult times, need to talk, or need information on mental health issues. If you know of any resources that would benefit people going through a difficult time, particularly with mental health issues, please send the links through so I can add them to the Help page.

I post silly shit about women who should know better doing things they shouldn’t be doing and I don’t know if it’s obvious, but I specifically avoid posting anything about women with legit mental health issues. If you’ve ever known anyone with real mental health issues, you know that it can be torture for them and for the people around them and I would never want to add to that. If you’re going through anything of that nature, seek out the resources that are out there to help you, and take care of yourselves because I like having you around.

Crazy bitch tip: If you’re having a rough time, there are resources out there to help.

Charity

31 Aug

Being charitable is a good thing, no matter what form you choose for your charitable efforts to take. It is however also true that in some instances, the suggested method of charity might raise more than a few eyebrows.

Some people mistakenly think that their charitable efforts should somehow relate to their vocation. For example, a bricklayer might think that the best way to offer assistance would be the offer of laying bricks. That’s an example in which the vocation might be a worthwhile contribution to the cause at hand. Other vocations like ‘blogger’, ‘movie critic’ or ‘bikini waxer’ might not be so beneficial. Let’s face it, if you’ve just experienced a tornado, hurricane, a flood, or some other monumental tragedy, you’re probably not going to get a lot out of a free opinion on the documentary being made about said tragedy.

That’s why, the more typical approach to being charitable in these situations is to donate some money to a reputable charity who will be assisting in helping those affected by the unfortunate circumstances. Part of the rationale behind that is that money is much more universally useful. Another reason, is that some pretty crazy offers come through in the name of charity…

I’m sure that most people immediately assume that all female porn stars are crazy bitches but I’m not one of them. I don’t think you can generalise like that. I do, however, believe that suggesting that you might offer some benefit to a bereaved man who’s daughter has passed away by dressing up as a schoolgirl and offering him your body for his own amusement, does make it difficult to argue against you being a crazy bitch.

I also concede that offering your asshole as a storage space to people going through a tragedy and combining that sentiment with ‘bless you’ is unarguably straight out of crazy bitchdom.

Crazy bitch tip: When it comes to charity, generally it’s not a great idea to offer sexual acts.

 

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