Tag Archives: pad

Free Bleeding

16 Feb

So there’s this thing going around about a trend called Free Bleeding. Free Bleeding is supposedly an effort by extremist feminists to continue their fight against their oppression under “The Man” by choosing not to use feminine hygiene products during their period.

You’ll see pics like the following on the web pages which are discussing Free Bleeding:

Free BleedingFortunately for us all, Free Bleeding is a hoax. Thank whichever deity or non deity you thank in such relieving moments for that!

The hoax was created by users of 4chan as a means of screwing with the ‘Feminazis’ of the world. I guess the idea was to try to encourage the easily lead amongst them to actually go out and bleed period blood all over themselves as part of the new wave feminist movement. Here’s an article explaining the hoax. The trolls over at 4chan were really hoping it would catch on though, and they tried to drive the hashtag on twitter and encourage bloggers to write about it. Here are a few of the articles that ended up being written about it as if it were a legit trend:

There are a few photos being linked to this hoax movement, and they’re mostly coming from a VICE photo-set by Emma Bystrom which was intended to illustrate the embarrassment and shame that women go through in dealing with their monthly bloody buddy.

From "There will be blood" by Emma Bystrom

From “There will be blood” by Emma Bystrom

It appears that this is one of the rare occasions where I’m going out of my way to defend falsely accused crazy bitches. I stumbled onto one of the articles that took this trend as legitimate, and that left me to ponder if I really believed there were feminists out there that are so angry at men, that they’d actually walk around with their own period blood oozing all over them. Fortunately, I didn’t think that could be the case, so I hunted around for some proof to the contrary and, thankfully, found the details of the hoax. Still, I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that a few of the of the more mentally unhinged, man hating feminists out there in the world consider it for a few seconds before deciding against it.

And that brings me to my thoughts on Feminism…

I’m going to do a post entirely about feminism at a later date because it’s such a massive and complex topic but, for now, I just wanted to point something out. In amongst the comments on the articles that thought Free Bleeding was a real thing, I was surprised to read comments from women defending the right of women to not use feminine hygiene products.

To consider yourself a feminist is a good thing. To live the way you like is a good thing too, but don’t just follow along with all the bullshit being spouted by any wacko claiming to be a feminist. Think about what they’re actually suggesting and decide for yourself if it’s really ‘The Man’ imposing something on you, or if it’s just how things are. This Free Bleeding thing is a hoax, but it actually comes from actual suggestions from feminists, such as this one I found in a blog post from 2012:

So enter the idea of “free bleeding.” More of a mindset than it is an action, the idea is, as this blog title gives away, letting ourselves bleed. No judgement, no worries about messiness or cleanliness. Just letting it happen.

This might look different for different menstruators. We are always, technically, “letting” ourselves bleed. There are no menstrual plugs (thank god). But how often do we take a second, or a few, or a whole menstrual cycle, to mentally let our body do it’s thing. And appreciate it for what it does.

Here’s an assignment: Get comfortable, wear something you don’t mind bleeding in (heck, this might even include a tampon! remember, this is about you and what’s comfortable for you) or lay on your bed naked with sheets you don’t mind bleeding on, and focus your thoughts on letting yourself bleed. – From Feministing.com (http://feministing.com/2012/08/27/letting-ourselves-bleed/)

So, as much as this is a hoax now, there have been people suggesting this FOR REAL in the past.

Be a feminist. Be proud of that. Fight for equality. Fight not to be oppressed because of your gender. But for the love of all that is good, please don’t blindly follow the rabid, crazy bitches out there spouting insanity under the title of feminism.

Crazy bitch tip: Choose not to bleed all over yourself, no matter what caused the blood in the first place.

 

Letter to the editor #2

2 Jun

We’ve received our second letter to the editor and I have gotta tell you, it’s a doozie! Read on…

Hey How Not To Be A Crazy Bitch,

My mother-in-law is showing signs of serious crazy bitch behaviour.

So my 10-year-old daughter, Jane*, recently got her period for the first time. After a few screams and tears, my wife and I easily calmed Jane down by explaining that this was just another aspect of puberty.

But soon after is when the absurd conduct began: enter one intervening, traditional and adamant mother-in-law (think Marie from Everybody Loves Raymond).

For those unfamiliar with Marie's work.

For those unfamiliar with Marie’s work.

Behind my wife and I’s back, Marie* had fished from the garbage Jane’s first used pad and took it home with her to place in a snap lock bag. My wife discovered the artifact in one of Marie’s jewellery boxes and we soon both began asking questions.

To cut a long story short, it turns out that Marie believes that a girl’s first ‘bleed’ is something that is very sacred and should be retained for her future husband. According to her, if little Jane gives it to her first boyfriend, they will both be forever in love and live a prosperous life. Marie was planning on giving this back to Jane when she enters the dating scene to pass onto her boyfriend for good luck. Never in my life have I heard of such nonsense.

I’ve seen your posts on period-related topics; you seem to be on the same wavelength as me. Any advice in confronting Marie about not forging her unreasonable traditions on our family? I don’t want to cause her any sadness, but I also don’t want to jeopardise my daughter’s future.

Cheers,
Fed Up Son-In-Law

*Names have been changed

Firstly, thank you for the letter Fed Up Son-In Law.

Secondly, um… what the fuck am I meant to say to that? My immediate reaction is “That’s absolutely mental!” but I guess that’s hardly helpful in a situation like this. One key feature of this situation is that you’re dealing with a cultural practice and, as you’re clearly aware, people can be very tied to their cultural heritage and can get extremely upset if you don’t take these practices seriously.

I was pretty taken aback by this specific tradition but it’s a tradition none-the-less and yours and my shared belief that it’s an archaic and disturbing protocol isn’t going to add much additional space between the rock on your left and the hard-place on your right.

Here’s the best solution I can come up with to keep the peace between you and your Cookoo McGoos Mother-in-law:

Throw the original pad in the bin. Do that before anything else. No matter what happens, that thing has to go. Alrighty, now that your daughters blood soaked pad is out of the picture, we can get on to to placating your monster-in-law.

As a just-in-case, grab a clean pad, wipe a bit of tomato sauce on it and crinkle the thing up a bit to make it look used. Smash this period catchment imposter device into a sandwich bag and tell your mother-in-law that you want her to take care of it. Ask her if she’ll keep it in her freezer or something so you never ever have to see it again.

Then you take your family on a short vacation. A weekend road trip will do. When you get back from the road trip, you tell your mother-in-law that something wonderful happened… your daughter met a boy! She’s got her first ever boyfriend! Hooray and whatnot.

Now you tell your mother-in-law that your daughter is going to have a pen-pal relationship with this imaginary lad and she’s so taken with this idea that the bloody-pad will lead to a long and loving relationship, that she wants your mother-in-law to send the item that she honestly believes contains her granddaughter’s first blood (which sounds like a title for a terrible action movie to me) to the boy on her behalf.

Then you provide your mother-in-law the address of someone you strongly dislike and BAM, you’ve hit two birds with one fake period blood carrying, comfortable stone. Just make sure there’s no return sender address on that envelope and you’re scot-free!

Thanks again for the letter. Please don’t take on my suggestions. Maybe just tell your wife that it’s her job to stop her mother ruining your daughter’s life.

If anyone has a better suggestion, please post it in the comments!

 

Why tampons exist

13 May

I’m not the fashion police, I promise, but geez there are some crazy bitches belting around in some completely inappropriate gear.

For instance…

20140513-222011.jpg

Crazy bitch tip: nobody wants to see your pad.

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