Tag Archives: pregnant

Motherly love

4 Jan

I have a huge affinity for the mothers of the world. The older I get the more I realise just how challenging an undertaking it is to raise a child and just how much hard work and sacrifice goes into it. To the billions of mothers of the world who have put their children’s needs and wants ahead of their own, I salute you and I hope your children show their gratitude to you for everything you have done and will do for them.

A tattoo with the word "Mom" in a love heart

With that said, there are a few mothers out there who are really letting the rest of the team down. I’m not talking about the mother’s who didn’t know the right thing to say when their child was upset, or couldn’t find a way to afford that special item the kid was dreaming of having, or the ones who had no choice but to end the relationship with their child’s father and unfortunately had to put the kid through a tough time in the process. No, those are parts of life. As difficult as those things might be, they’re not malicious acts.

bad

Unacceptable

The mothers who are letting everyone else down are those who refuse to accept the responsibilities of being a parent. That’s some real bullshit right there. Your kid has only got one mother and it’s impossible to overstate how important that mother is to her child. To not at least try to do the best for your child is unconscionable. Aside from the very, very small percentage of women who are genuinely forced into being a mother without any choice in the matter, the rest either chose to have a child or at least chose to ignore the steps that go into avoiding having a child.

Once the kid is born, you’ve got one responsibility before all else: to ensure that child gets the best life you can possibly provide him/her/other-politically-correct-alternate-gender-title. If it’s not in you to devote yourself to that child it’s better to put them up for adoption and allow someone else to show that child the love they’ll need.

To not give your kid your all is pretty shitty, but the sad thing is, there are mothers out there who are doing an even worse job than that. There are mothers out there who actually intentionally mistreat their children. If ever there’s someone who deserves the title of crazy bitch, it’s a mother who knowingly harms her child.

Here are a few examples not to follow if you’re fortunate enough to get the opportunity to be a mother:

I didn’t know it was possible to fit the word whore so many times into an 11 minute conversation with your son.

Crazy bitch tip: It’s never ok to wear a white dress to a wedding, least of all to your daughters. Also, when your children are telling you that you’ve hurt them over and over, acknowledgement and an apology is a better starting point than trying to convince them that they’re wrong.

Apparently she “didn’t mean to do that one”.

Crazy bitch tip: You should be mortified if you cause your child to fall and smash their head onto the ground, and if you’re not it’s time to speak to a psychologist about why.

This one is so hard to watch.

Crazy bitch tip: Discipline and torture are not the same thing. If your child is shrieking like an animal from the physical or emotional pain you’re inflicting upon them, you’re doing it wrong.

Crazy bitch tip: if even your dog can tell that you’re doing the wrong thing, it’s time to adjust your approach.

Crazy bitch tip: it is more important to feed your child than have access to the internet.

Crazy bitch tip: not everyone is meant to breed.

The truly revolting

Crazy bitch tip: you’re supposed to fucking protect your children from predators, not invite them into your home.

Crazy bitch tip: if your boyfriend wants to fuck your children, get the fuck away from him!

Crazy bitch tip: do not pimp out your own goddamned child!

Crazy bitch tip: do not pimp out your own goddamned handicapped child! For Fuck’s sake!!!!!!!!!

 

Pregnancies are non-transferable

3 Sep

So…

No condom

There’s a rule that guys are taught… “Don’t put your dick in crazy.” This is one of the prime examples of where that rule would come into play. See, this crazy bitch isn’t concerned with the guy’s STD status, or her own relationship status, or the potential pregnancy that could arise. Nope, she’s got it all planned out. Except that her plan is fucking crazy.

There’s just sooooooooo many things wrong with this scenario. I’ll try to outline just a few of the flaws.

  1. It’s not really a great choice to have unprotected sex with strangers
  2. It’s not really a great choice to have unprotected sex with strangers when you aren’t on birth control
  3. It’s pretty shitty to have sex with strangers when you have a boyfriend
  4. If you are going to knowingly risk getting pregnant from having unprotected sex with a stranger while cheating on your boyfriend, it’s a fucking terrible idea to plan to tell your boyfriend it’s his child.
  5. If you think any of this is alright, you’re going to have to accept that the rest of the world will think of you as a crazy bitch.

Crazy bitch tip: If you want to fuck strangers and risk getting pregnant to them, break things off with your boyfriend first.

Tip for guys interacting with crazy bitches: Sex one time is not worth a lifetime of association with a horrible person.

Maybe

17 Jan

2015/01/img_4381.jpg

Maybe getting pregnant isn’t something you should use as a weapon to ensure you get to spend more time with your partner?

Crazy bitch tip: Get pregnant if you’re with the right person, it’s the right time in your lives, you both want kids, and you actually want to be pregnant. Do not get pregnant to trap your partner or manipulate a situation, because that’s what crazy bitches do.

Don’t cause 13 year old boys to ejaculate in your vagina

23 Dec

I would have thought that was self-explanatory but apparently I thought wrong. Here is some evidence.

There are many things I could comment about in regards to this video, but let’s go bullet point styles instead:

  • She’s 6 years older than this kid and he was a close family friend
  • That’s rape, and also massively disrespectful to her close family friends
  • Not only did she rape the boy, she decides that the boy should now be a father because she believes she did such a good job or raping him, that she got pregnant to him
  • It turns out that the kid she raped is not even the father of the child, so not only did she rape a boy, she mistakenly accused him of being the father of her child and was ready to try and get money out of him to help raise a kid that wasn’t his
  • She’s openly admitted to raping a boy, and to getting pregnant without even knowing who the actual father of the child is, and her child is bound to see this video one day

I feel bad for both the kids involved. The boy who was raped got off relatively easy by not being the father of his rapists child I suppose, but geez what a terrifying situation to go through as a 14 year old. As for the rapists child, man oh man what a life that kid’s in for. It’s not often you think a kid would be far better off without their mother in their life at all.

Crazy bitch tip: if you choose to have sex, do so in a manner which ensures that you know who you are actually pregnant to, or better yet, do so in a way that ensures you don’t get pregnant unintentionally.

 

The mythical pregnancy

3 Feb

There’s a disturbing trend that I keep hearing about and it seems to be increasing in popularity. This is the ‘fake pregnancy’ manoeuvre in which a woman convinces a guy that he’s gotten her pregnant and that she must now have an abortion and because abortions are expensive, she’s going to need some financial help.

If a guy is actually careless enough to get a woman pregnant without intending to, of course he should contribute to the cost of an abortion if that’s the chosen course of action. Of the guys I know, I can’t imagine any of them thinking differently, maybe that’s mostly because I hang out with your classic ‘nice guys’ but even so, it’d be a pretty horrible bloke that would flat out refuse to help when faced with that situation.

It seems to be ‘nice guys’ that are the most likely target for this fake pregnancy bullshit. I’ve heard stories of guys paying out up to $5,000 to a woman to contribute to the expense of her abortion only to later discover that she was never pregnant in the first place. $5,000 is pretty extreme but I’ve heard many instances of between $1,000 and $2,000 where it’s gotten back to the guy that he was duped.

When we talk about ‘crazy bitches’ around here, we’re talking about the sort of women who would pull this type of scam. This is grade A, stay the hell away from the head case, crazy bitch behaviour.

Tip: If you don’t want to be called a crazy bitch, never lie to anyone about being pregnant.

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