Tag Archives: quote

If you can’t handle…

12 Nov If you can't handle a feisty woman throwing glassware at your head without hitting her, then maybe you're not the man you think you are

There’s a popular quote attributed to Marilyn Monroe, which reads:

I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and am at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, you sure as hell don't deserve me at  my best - Marilyn Monroe

The quote has become abbreviated to “If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best” and that shortened version has become part of common parlance in most English speaking places. This version is typically assumed to be understood as

“I’m not perfect, but if you can’t get past that, you’ll miss out on what makes me great.”

and I reckon that’s a fair and reasonable sentiment to express.

Warping the message

The problem is, that’s doesn’t seem to be what the people who are using this quote actually mean. So what message are the people who utter this quote actually trying to get across? My interpretation is that, usually, they’re saying:

“It’s not my fault if you can’t put up with how inappropriately I sometimes act. Get used to it or go away.”

That sentiment is not so reasonable to me.

Clearly, whoever put this eCard together is taking a different meaning as well:

What she really means is "I'm a fucking psycho"

The way I see it, everyone has their issues. Some more than others, and often that’s completely out of people’s control. There’s nothing wrong with having issues but there is a big problem when you choose to allow yourself to act inappropriately because of them.

Snap back to reality

I prefer this take on Marilyn’s quote:

If you can't handle me at my worst, I don't blame  you, because that shit is ridiculous.

At least it’s self-aware.

Woah, woah, woah!

But as I mentioned, there are many people making use of this quote to excuse themselves for their shitty behaviour. How’s this one?

If you can't handle a feisty woman throwing glassware at your head without hitting her, then maybe you're not the man you think you are

As I always say, a man should never hit a woman, but also, a woman should never hit a man, or throw glassware at his head. I think we all agree that the man referenced in the quote shouldn’t hit the woman, but the question that comes to mind is… why the fuck was she throwing glassware at his head? Moreover, how the fuck has she convinced herself that the glassware throwing aspect of this scenario is not at least a part of the problem?

Your thoughts, Fresh Prince?

In the words of the great thinker, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air:

handle you? you're not an animal!

You’re being sexist!

In an effort to avoid being too male-centric with my thinking, here’s what Cate Gary has to say on the matter.

cate-quote

Cate makes some damned good points.

Firstly, just because you have good points, that doesn’t necessarily outweigh your bad points. Your bad points may be so horrible that you couldn’t justify them even if you were busy curing cancer the rest of the time. There are limits! I’m sure Hitler had some good points too, but they didn’t tally up against his whole “trying to exterminate entire races” thing, now did they?

Secondly, Marilyn was unbelievably sexy, but that’s pretty much all you ever hear about her. We don’t reflect on Marylin Monroe as a great mind of our time. In fact, you could argue that she is the original bimbo. While sex appeal has its own value, let’s face it… it’s 90% inherited through genetics. The reason we’ve all heard of her and seen pictures of her is because she had a fantastic body and a beautiful face, and she knew how to move in a seductive manner. No doubt she worked hard to keep her figure and to star in enough films to get her name so well known, but if she wasn’t blessed with her good looks I don’t think we would ever have heard of her.

In her own words

Check out this interview with Marilyn Monroe and make up your own mind.

So there’s not a lot about Marilyn that suggests that she’s a great role model for success. As Cate Gary mentioned above, it’s rather the opposite. No matter how you look at it, she had access to everything a person could want, but she wasn’t around long enough to enjoy it.

Here’s what she had to say when asked if she was happy:

“I’m genuinely miserable” – Marilyn Monroe.

Now, I don’t want to bag out Marilyn Monroe here, because the more footage of her I watch, the closer I get to falling in love with this long gone starlet, but it’s certainly clear that she wasn’t happy, especially at the end of her life, and that she would have preferred to be in a different situation. Perhaps, if she had addressed some of her self-confessed bad points, and not relied on people being willing to handle her, things might have ended differently.

Back to that quote

You don’t have to be at your best all the time, and it is fair to expect those who care about you to be understanding of your flaws and how you act when things get too much, but don’t go getting confused into thinking that they should put up with whatever you want to throw at them because you’re just so friggin amazing on your good days.

You have a responsibility to handle yourself and to remember that the people who love you shouldn’t have to put up with you treating them like shit just because that’s what you feel like doing at that moment in time. Instead of throwing glassware at your significant other, speak to a psychiatrist about why you get so worked up that you even want to throw glassware at your significant other!

Remember, even Marilyn Monroe ran into guys who wouldn’t put up with her shit.

Crazy bitch tip: Learn to handle yourself before you go expecting anyone else to put up with your bullshit.

Side note

The life of Marilyn Monroe is very interesting, and ultimately, a sad reminder that things aren’t always beautiful for the beautiful people. Check out this film about who miss Norma Jeane really was underneath.

What a shame to lose such an interesting person just because she had such a hot body.

Belle Gibson lied about everything

25 Apr Belle Gibson drinking beer from a pint glass

belle gibson drinking from a wine bottleBelle Gibson has been a prominent figure in the alternative health world for some time now. Ms Gibson’s big claim to fame has been that she miraculously cured her terminal brain cancer just by eating healthy food. Not only did she claim that she cured her own cancer, she also suggested that other cancer patients would benefit from following her healthy lifestyle and profited from selling a cook book and app on the subject.

And it was all bullshit.

Wikipedia sums the scenario up nicely:

In early 2015, emerging media scrutiny revealed that Gibson’s cancer claims appeared to have been fabricated, that she had lied about her age and other details of her personal life and history, and had used company and charity campaign funds to lead a profligate and affluent lifestyle. There are claims she rented an expensive town house, leased an office suite and luxury car, underwent cosmetic dental procedures, and holidayed internationally from the proceeds of money purportedly raised for charity.

After a month of intense media scrutiny of her story, in an April 2015 interview Gibson admitted that her cancer claims had been totally fabricated, stating “none of it’s true”.

Gibson’s actions have been described as “deceit on a grand scale, for personal profit”.

It’s estimated that the book and app had raised over $1,000,000 and Gibson herself has claimed that she had “countless times helped others” to treat their cancers “naturally” and “leading them down natural therapy for everything from fertility, depression, bone damage and other types of cancer”.

Do you realise what that means? She lied to cancer patients to profit from their hopelessness and actively lead them away from the only treatments that are medically proven to help them survive.

Belle Gibson drinking beer from a pint glass

And she didn’t even follow the bullshit she was spouting about keeping toxins out of your body

In addition to this, it is alleged that Gibson raised a lot of money in the name of 5 different charities but either didn’t use the money for the charitable work she had claimed she would and/or massively exaggerated how much of the money she did end up going to charity.

Gibson actively encouraged things such as not vaccinating children, consuming raw, non-pasteurised milk, and Gerson Therapy.

When it became clear that people were going to find out that Gibson had never had cancer at all, let alone the multiple cancers she had claimed, she started deleting any posts relating to that topic from her social media platforms. In many cases, she went further and deleted the accounts completely.

Gibson has finally bitten the bullet and conceded that everything that she’d said to help her become famous was fabricated. She had lied her way into the hearts of those millions of people who are suffering with medical conditions that modern medicine doesn’t have pleasant solutions for, and then she used those lies to take their money.

You don’t have to be a shrink to suspect Ms Gibson is an out and out crazy bitch, now do you?

Of course there’s been complete uproar since the truth has come to light. And Ms Gibson’s response is has been to say:

“In the last two years I have worked every single day living and raising up an online community of people who supported each other… I understand the confusion and the suspicion, but I also know that people need to draw a line in the sand where they still treat someone with some level of respect or humility – and I have not been receiving that.”

and

“I just think [speaking out] was the responsible thing to do. Above anything, I would like people to say, ‘Okay, she’s human. She’s obviously had a big life. She’s respectfully come to the table and said what she’s needed to say, and now it’s time for her to grow and heal.’”

Of all the shit Ms Gibson has said and done, to me, it’s these quotes which are the most telling of just how far from normal her line of thinking is. You don’t get to build an empire on lies while you take money from hopeless, suffering people in return for offering them fairytales and good vibes and then get to expect anyone to feel sorry for you or be understanding of your plight.

What the fuck sort of thinking is that? If you actively and knowingly deceive people, you don’t get to be treated with dignity when they find out. No, you should count yourself lucky that some poor cancer patient who wasted time on your lies doesn’t hunt you down and end you! For fuck sake! Who the hell could do this and still expect “some level of respect or humility”? That’s the statement right there that just proves there’s something very, very wrong with Belle Gibson.

There are a lot of angry people out there who are definitely not saying “Okay, she’s human.” Instead, they’re calling her a monster, and I’d be hard pressed to disagree.

So, as far as the crazy bitch ranks go, Belle Gibson is sitting very, very high up. She may even be the craziest bitch I’ve ever heard of.

Crazy bitch tip: do not mislead millions of people into thinking that eating well and exercising are enough to fight cancer.

Caitlin Stasey and Bindi Irwin

26 Jun Caitlin Stasey's boobies

As an Australian, I am bound by law to have a soft spot for every Aussie that makes their way onto the world stage. Fortunately, in the case of Bindi Irwin and Caitlin Stasey, I wouldn’t have been able to avoid having a fondness for them anyway.

See, don’t go telling anyone but I actually went through a phase when I would watched Neighbours semi-regularly. I guess it was on at a time that sort of synced in well with my life at that point. Y’know, get home from work, sit around for half an hour while trying to recover from the day and passively stare at the glowing box as it pumps out a story so generic that even my burned-out, overworked brain could keep up.

I don’t remember exactly when that was but I do remember Caitlin Stasey and I remember thinking that she’d be a truly beautiful woman in a few years. Well, time has passed and you’d be hard pressed to find many blokes who don’t think Caitlin Stasey is a good looking woman, I mean, seriously:

Come on, there's no denying Caitlin is easy on the eyes.

Come on, there’s no denying Caitlin is easy on the eyes.

So there’s Caitlin Stasey, an Aussie pushing her way up the ranks towards Hollywood stardom. Sure, I don’t really give two shits about the stars of Hollywood and all that celebrity bullshit but seeing an Aussie excel in her chosen field gives me a case of the old warm-fuzzies. Good for her, I say. Read ahead and I’m sure you’ll understand that she’s probably quite offended that the only thing I really know about her is that she’s beautiful but then again, the only reason I’ve heard of her is because she was on a TV show, and I’m sure a big part of the reason she was chosen to be on that show was for her looks, so I don’t really feel so bad about it.

Then we’ve got Bindi Irwin. If you don’t have some affection for Bindi Irwin, you might just be a stone. We all remember Steve Irwin, aka The Crocodile Hunter. His unbridled enthusiasm and all-consuming love for animals was intoxicating and he was one of the few Aussie icons since Crocodile Dundee to remind the rest of the world that Australia is a pretty gnarly place. Here he is:

What a bloody legend! Bindi is his daughter and she’s grown up in the public eye and done a great job of picking up where Steve left off by continuing to spread the word about how important conservation of Australian wild-life and habitat is. Here’s a snippet of Bindi from a few years ago:

Cute as a button! It’s not like Bindi Irwin is really on my radar, she’s just one of those names that pops up occasionally and makes me think how awesome it is that she’s got some of her dad’s exuberance and is progressing the family message of conservation. How do you not admire that?

 Recent events – Caitlin

In recent days our beloved Caitlin has started making some waves by becoming very outspoken on Twitter. Here are few choice examples:

 

“OH MY GOD VAGINA MIGHT GOBBLE UP THE RAINFOREST IF MISUSED OR USED TOO OFTEN! THAS HOW PREMARITAL SEX KILLS, DAWGS” – Caitlin Stasey

“I appreciate your desire to take my sex agency from me AUSTRALIA but I’m too busy slinging dick, punching pussy and doin general housework” – Caitlin Stasey

“She came, she saw, she fucked, she owned it, she conquered” – Caitlin Stasey

“So eat a dick” – Caitlin Stasey

“Dear God, plz plz plz give me a retweet or a follow back. ARE YOU NOTICING ME?! I LOVED YOU IN THE BIBLE! cmon u’d be nothing without me!” – Caitlin Stasey

“Am reduced to a pervert almost permanently” – Caitlin Stasey

Be a living example of what you believe @freethenipple

Be a living example of what you believe @freethenipple

” – Caitlin Stasey

So… that raised a few eyebrows around the world. Media ogranisations started ramping up the story and turning it into articles like this: Former Neighbours star Caitlin Stasey made out to be a ‘bizarre, raving, sexual lunatic’. Caitlin appears to have been bothered by these stories. Check out the rest of her Twitter feed to see the various ways in which she’s chosen to address these things.

Recent events – Bindi

Bindi Irwin recently made a bit of news lately too. Here’s what she said brought about all the attention:

“I’m a big advocate for young girls dressing their age.

I mean, for me, I look around at a lot of young girls that are my age and they’re always trying to dress older. Whether it’s wearing revealing clothes or hardly wearing any clothes at all, I feel really bad for them.

It kind of has the opposite effect in some ways … it kind of does the opposite where it makes you look younger and like you’re trying too hard.

I almost wish I could tell young girls, ‘look, in 10 years when you look back at yourself, you’ll cringe honey, honestly’.

A lot of times I want to grab these girls and say ‘look … in 10 years you’ll regret this. Just dress like who you are. Don’t try so hard. A pair of jeans and a T-shirt is just as gorgeous and even makes you look classier’.

I look at adults and they say ‘when I was young I was wearing blue eye shadow’ and I’m cringing. So to be able to have that outlook on life is such a blessing and I’ve gotten that from my mum especially.

The way I choose to dress, I want to influence other people around me I suppose.” – Bindi Irwin

Bindi Irwin isn’t yet 16 years old but seems to have a lot of things figured out and has done so well ahead of the standard maturity curve. There’s a bit more detail on this in this article if you’re interested.

Recent events – Caitlin V Bindi

In case you didn’t pick up on it, Caitlin is pretty upset with, well… everything. The subject of the majority of her statements however, appear to be focused on pushing feminist ideals. And hey, I say more power to you, ladies. Caitlin’s been on about ‘free the nipple’, I couldn’t agree more! Get em out and enjoy yourselves. Caitlin’s really been going off and while I think she’s coming from a good place and has a lot of good points, they’re getting lost in all the raving and to be quite frank, she’s pretty misguided on some of the issues she’s blasting away about.

Nothing exemplifies this misguidedness better than her tweet at Bindi regarding Bindi’s comments about young women dressing their age:

“Open letter to Bindi, in ten years you’ll wish you stood beside your shared sex rather than be proud you belittled their choices & agency.” – Caitlin Stasey

After all the other ranting coming out of Caitlin’s feed, this really pissed a lot of people off. Of all the people to target, you’ve gotta admit that Bindi Irwin has gotta be about the worst option. Bindi is adorable and sweet and so endearingly genuine that anyone choosing to say anything negative towards her is bound to come across as the bad guy. Wait! Pardon me! I mean the bad person. I must try harder to get rid of my gender biased vitriol. Anyway, I’m saying it’s difficult to have your point received well when you’re attacking someone so lovely as Bindi.

Here are a few of the responses:

As you can see, Caitlin’s copped a bit of negativity in response. Here’s an article about the whole thing and about just how upset this has made people beyond the Twittersphere.

What I think about the whole thing

Firstly, I think it’s a big flair up about bugger all of substance but seeing as I’m talking about it, I reckon Bindi will bring more benefit to women in her lifetime than Caitlin is likely to. I’ve come to this conclusion because Bindi is already doing something of value, namely, contributing to the awareness of ecological issues around the world, and she’s been doing a bang-up job of representing Australia on the world stage while she’s been at it.

Caitlin, on the other hand, is out there trading on her looks and then going off about the fact that so much of the world is based around the value of female attractiveness. For the record, I think it’s bullshit too but if you’re going to use your looks to get ahead, it doesn’t put you in the best position to argue against the whole thing.

I think Bindi is 100% correct when she says that girls should dress their age. If you’ve ever seen a girl pulling the edges of her teeny tiny skirt down or her pulling up super low-cut top, you’ve seen a girl dressing outside of her comfort-zone and you can be pretty bloody sure she was doing that because she was either trying to fit in with fashion or to look older, neither of which is a good reason to making yourself uncomfortable.

Caitlin’s going off about how a woman’s body is hers to do with as she wants and she’s right too. The difference is Bindi is saying “have some self respect and don’t try to be something you’re not” and Caitlin is saying “girls should be able to do whatever the fuck they want, whenever and wherever they want”. One of those statements fits in with reality and helps encourage good decision making and the other is a pretty reckless thing to say to impressionable young women.

Crazy bitch time

Bindi and the term crazy bitch don’t belong in the same sentence. Bindi is a champ. Despite growing up in the limelight and all the garbage that comes with it, she’s got her head screwed on right and she’s on her way to big things.

Caitlin Stasey on the other hand… well, let me say that I actually don’t think she’s a crazy bitch. I reckon she’s very passionate about something that we should all be concerned about, and that’s ensuring that women, or more accurately, all people have an equal opportunity to succeed and enjoy the lifestyle they prefer. The problem is that Caitlin is choosing a bad way to promote her thoughts and opinions.

It’s a real shame, actually. All that twitter ranting and all the blaming and pointing fingers and accusing everyone of oppressing women and attempting to impose a patriarchal, conservatist agenda, it just comes across as crazy. It just makes Caitlin appear to be a bat-shit crazy feminazi and the few people who’s minds she wants to change about these topics don’t listen to bat-shit crazy feminazis.

If Caitlin can calm the fuck down and collect her thoughts into a well written book or a documentary series or something of value that actually expresses her opinions in a digestible manner, maybe she’ll contribute positively to her cause. In the mean time, she’s doing a damned good impersonation of a crazy bitch.

Crazy bitch tip: “Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.” – from Desiderata by Max Ehrmann

One more thing

This celebrity bullshit is killing me. I’ll be back to posting more of the silly little cartoons very soon.

%d bloggers like this: