Tag Archives: scary

Woman sets petrol on fire when guy doesn’t give her a smoke

30 Apr Car burns after woman sets the fuel on fire

The woman in this video asks the man for a smoke. He doesn’t have one to give her, so she lights the petrol on fire!

Crazy bitch level achieved: Maximum.

Crazy bitch tip: do not ever set petrol on fire, especially not just because someone didn’t have a smoke to give you.

Do not attach dildos to your power tools

27 Mar

Hey, look, you can do pretty much whatever you want when it comes to cumming. I don’t want to judge people for the way the get their rocks off. It’s just that something look safer and more reasonable than others, and attaching a dildo to a power tool seems to be on the risky end of the spectrum.

Decide for yourself.

I believe the woman in the following video is speaking German, I’m not sure because I don’t speak German. Unfortunately I’m not so good at understanding exactly what’s happening based purely on body language. You know how it is, things get lost in translation when you lack the ability to comprehend the nuance of the words being spoken.

I mean, with all the maniacal laughing and dildo flapping around at 10,000 rpm or so, it’s still possible she’s not a crazy bitch but rather an inventive DIY craftswoman. I guess I’ll never know.

Crazy bitch tip: If you need a more powerful sex toy, I’d recommend doing a search online before you start combining your existing sex toys with your power tools.

Family guy examples

20 Jul

Asking out a 24 year old girl

This seems so exaggerated that it couldn’t possibly be real, right? False. It might be exaggerated but this is exactly what it’s like when you’re a guy trying to ask out a girl like this. I don’t know about other guys but for me, when I was asking a girl out, it wasn’t meant to be a game or deception or anything confusing, I was just asking her if she wanted to spend some time with me. This seemed to be completely lost on some girls though.

If a guy asks you out and you want to go out with him, say “Yes”. If a guy asks you out and you don’t want to go out with him, say “No thanks”. If you’re not sure if you want to go out with the guy, say “Yes” and figure it out by the end of the date.

There’s no reason to turn it into some big confusing pile of horseshit, and here’s some inside info from the guy’s side it pisses us off, confuses us and if you do a bad enough job, it can really hurt our feelings. There’s nothing more humiliating than finding out the girl you though was keen on you was just playing with you for some attention and there’s nothing more frustrating than finding out that the girl you really liked wanted to go out with you but was “playing hard to get”.

Pleas understand this. Men cannot read your mind. You might be playing hard to get while every other girl that guy has asked out was just not interested, how the hell is he supposed to know that when you say “No”, you actually meant “Please ask me again later to confirm for me that you’re really, really interested because I like playing weird little games with people instead of just saying what I actually mean.”?

Men: We don’t know what we did

And that brings me to the fact that us mere males have pretty much no idea what the hell you women are after most of the time.

This is an interesting little bit of animation here because when most guys watch this, they laugh at how crazy the girl is but when most girls watch it, they understand why the girl is upset. In case you didn’t get it, watch it again but keep this in mind… the girl is interested in the guy and she’s hoping that he’ll ask her to walk with him to the next class they both have together, the guy is of course, completely unaware of this and his non-nonchalant “Seeya there” is seen by the girl as a rejection and thus, humiliated, she runs away. Her friend is then furious at Mr Oblivious for hurting the young lady’s feelings.

I’ve been through this one too. Actually, I’ve been through this one a LOT. Let me point out yet again that men have no mind reading super powers, no matter how much you might wish we did. When girls act like this, they expect guys to be paying attention to all their little cues and hints and body language and whatever else but you forget that we might not necessarily be in detective mode every waking second of every day.

There’s a massive crossover between the behaviour of a girl who is legitimately attracted to a guy and a girl who is just being friendly. There are also girls out there who just love to flirt with guys they aren’t interested in, and that looks pretty much identical to when a girl is interested. Guess the wrong way and make a move and the guy can be mockingly rejected, guess the wrong way (or don’t even notice) and the guy runs the risk of massively offending the girl. It’s a minefield.

Interestingly, most women tend to stop playing the confusing games and being indirect as they get older, especially so if they’ve never married.

Going on a blind date with a 37 year old

I don’t have direct experience with dating a 37 year old. I have, however dated some ladies in their early 30s and even some in their mid-to-late 20s who have acted in a slightly less cartoony version of what’s shown in the animation above. The increasingly loud biological clock and other societal pressures tend to mount against women as they get older if they’re still single and childless.

When women let this pressure get to them, a lady’s standards can drop through the floor. Once desperation creeps in, things get pretty full on. To tell you the truth, ladies, it can be flat-out terrifying. As a guy, it can end up feeling like her sole interest in you is for your baby batter and as soon as she’s certain you’re not firing blanks, her focus turns to limiting your opportunities for escape. I’m reminded of episode #12…

and episode #13

What the hell is my point?

We don’t know what you want. We know we want you to have it (unless it means you’re just trying to lock us into a quickfix marriage to beat your biological clock) and we know we don’t want to upset you if we can avoid it, so maybe it’s worth noting that WE CAN’T READ YOUR MINDS. 99% of the problems I’ve run into with girlfriends and potential girlfriends has come down to one simple thing, a lack of clear communication from the woman involved and it drives me round the bend. Why the hell did we put all this time and effort into creating all these different languages with all these beautiful words if you’re still going to try and communicate with your eyelashes and various other silent and generally invisible ‘hints’?

If you ladies are gonna make fun of guys for acting like cave men and being big dumb animals, don’t go getting all shitty at us when we do a piss-poor job of playing super-duper girl move detectives. WE DON’T KNOW THAT LANGUAGE AND THE MOVES MEAN DIFFERENT THINGS DEPENDING ON WHO YOU’RE TALKING TO. So please, stop it.

Crazy bitch tip: if any of the women in these videos remind you of your self, it’s time to do some self reflection and consider if that behaviour is actually helping you towards getting what you want.


Episode #20 – Cut off

3 Jul

Episode #19 – Leverage

1 Jul

Episode #15 – Playboy

15 Jun


18 May

So I was checking that our twitter was up and running properly. Y’know, checking our fancy-pants logo was on there and that the updates were going through when we add a new post on this site. While I was at it, I updated the url to the now iconic hownottobeacrazybitch.com. All in all, I was pretty happy with how things were looking.

But then I noticed something…

How not to be a crazy bitch - on twitter

Follows you. Everywhere.

The @hownottobeacb FOLLOWS YOU bit struck me as, well, honestly, kinda stalkerish. I guess it fits part of the ongoing motif of this website though, specifically that the silly and unreasonable shit you do can, will, and does, follow you. We have no plans to stalk you. I’ve always wondered about how people can be a stalker. Think about the time and energy it takes to stalk someone. I can barely keep up with what I’m doing, let alone bother to keep an eye on what someone else is up to all day every day.

This all leads nicely to some advice that I’d like to share with you.

Crazy bitch tip of the day: Never do anything like this >

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That escalated quickly

11 May

Crazy bitch tip: everything you send to people via text can be shown to other people, or worse yet, be put on the internet until the end of time.


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Too much of a good thing

6 Apr

It’s fine if there’s something you do to feel a little more confident. It’s ok to wear a little extra make up, or wear a padded bra or have a little work done if that’s going to give you some peace of mind.

The thing is, there’s a point where it’s too much, and not being able to recognise that for yourself is a massive alarm bell that you’re suffering a bad case of the CBs…






You see what I’m saying here? There’s a point where that good feeling takes you to a very bad place.

Crazy bitch tip: when you have to explain why it’s ok you’re doing that thing so much, it’s already too much.

Crazy bitch bonus tip: The more you try to fix that thing you don’t like about yourself, the more people are going to notice it. Leave it alone!

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