Tag Archives: smash
Image

If we destroy all the scales no one will know we’re fat

21 Apr

 
Crazy bitch tip: Don’t blame the scales for what they say.

Advertisements

Reacting with emotion isn’t always crazy

15 Apr

Over on How Not To Be A Massive Douche, I posted this video…

As you can see, it’s titled Psycho Girlfriend Breaks iPad but I think it’s more of a case of a massive douche drives his girlfriend crazy.

The important thing to note about this video is that the girlfriend doesn’t start out being especially unreasonably. She’s basically asking her boyfriend to spend a little time with her and not always be focused on some device instead of her. She also thinks going on a date more than once every three months is a fair call.

Sure, she ends up smashing his iPad, but that’s not because she’s crazy, it’s because she’s trying everything she can to get him to listen to her and acknowledge what she’s trying to tell him. Instead, he treats her like a child and literally claps at her while he calls her crazy!

clapping antler manThis woman is not a crazy bitch. It’s natural to get frustrated when you’re trying to have discussion with someone you love and they keep dismissing your concerns and tell you’re crazy for being upset with them. No, she shouldn’t have smashed his iPad, but as far as I see it, that’s the only thing she actually did wrong.

I hope it’s easy to see the difference here between a frustrated woman and the women who are acting like outright crazy bitches in some of the other content I’ve posted here in the past.

Crazy bitch tip: Just because someone calls you a crazy bitch doesn’t mean you are. Sometimes they’re just trying to get away with being a massive douche to you, and you shouldn’t put up with that shit.

Never hit a man

2 Aug

Alrighty, listen up, ladies. The unwritten law of society that a man should never hit a woman doesn’t somehow imply that it’s OK for you women to go around hitting men.

Hahaha. Oh wait a minute, that could actually kill him.

Hahaha. Oh wait a minute, that could actually kill him.

It’s not OK. As a matter of fact, it’s a really, really, reallllllllllllllllllllllllly bad idea. It’s an unbelievably stupid thing to do and if you choose the wrong target, it might be the last really stupid thing you ever do.

Check out this display of charm and understanding…

A group of women ganging up like that on a man is no less shitty than seeing a group of men ganging up on someone. Maybe I’m old fashioned but for ladies to be throwing punches and yelling “what!” over and over again while they harass a guy just doesn’t seem like a classy way to get through the day to me. I mean sure, if you’re a female pugilist who also suffers from a hearing disability, I’d have to eat my words there but in any other situation you might as well be screaming “I’m a crazy bitch.” because that’s what you’re really telling the world.

It’s a numbers game

In the video above, there’s one guy and about four women. That’s not cool. Here’s a secret a lot of women don’t seem to have learned: While men are typically stronger than women, an individual man is not capable of fighting all the women in the world at the same time. Let’s say that on average, a guy is twice as strong as a woman, that means a man can potentially fight off two women at one time, maybe three, maybe even four but there’s a point at which a number of women can overpower a man. That means that it is possible for women to bully and abuse men. And it does happen.

Look at him, throwing his jaw at her fist like that. He should go to jail!

Look at him, throwing his jaw at her fist like that.

But when I mention numbers like those, I’m purely talking about situations where the man would actually be fighting back. Most men don’t. Most men know not to hit a woman. Most men will do anything they can to avoid hitting a woman. These men can be susceptible to bullying from women.

He's a monster.

He’s a monster.

A light beating

A medium beating.

A heavy beating

Seeking help

That shit’s crazy

When a woman hits a man a lot of things run through his head. Typically, the first thing is fear, the second thing is rage and the third is hopefully suppression of that rage based on remembering “I’m not allowed to hit her back”.

This is a totally acceptable situation that I'm not allowed to react to.

This is a totally acceptable situation that I’m not allowed to react to.

 

If you’re a woman who has hit a man and you’re lucky enough to make it to that point without retaliation, you’ll be looking at a man who is feeling emasculated. As a guy, let me promise you that a man who is experiencing the feelings associated with emasculation is an extraordinarily dangerous version of that same man. Even if he’s a very gentle guy by nature, or he’s not especially strong, emasculating a man can bring out the furious caveman monster that lurks beneath the surface of  every last male of the human species.

It is incredibly dangerous to put a male into that situation. DO NOT DO THAT. As I mentioned earlier, most men will do their level best not to hit a woman and in the videos above, you’ve seen men showing impressive patience while under attack. You might not be so lucky. You might choose the wrong guy at the wrong time, and if you do, you’re going to be in extreme danger.

ngr

It’s not funny. It’s downright terrifying what a person can do when they snap into a rage. When that person is a man, and you’ve just landed a blow that not only hurt him physically, but attacked his masculinity at the same time, the outcome can be deadly. A man should never hit a woman but that doesn’t mean he won’t and the more often you hit a man, the more likely you are to break that boundary.

 

Of all people, Whoopi Goldberg?

An American football player named Ray Rice recently knocked his wife out and had to drag her out of an elevator. Yep, he’s a real piece of shit. It turns out though, that his wife had been hitting him first. The women on The View were talking about this incident. I never thought I’d utter this sentence but Whoopi Goldberg made a very good point about it.

Whoopi Goldberg. A reliable source of wisdom.

Whoopi Goldberg. A reliable source of wisdom.

Whoopi practically had to yell to get out her point that you shouldn’t hit someone and expect them to not hit you back.

In the video, you see the other ladies on The View shaking their heads in disapproval as they try to out-volume Whoopi as she expresses her thoughts. What Whoopi is saying is “Don’t hit anyone” but the other women seem to think they have every right to hit a man right up until he thinks his life is in danger, and that they should get away with that without so much as a single counter strike. THAT IS INSANITY. You don’t get to hit anyone! The rule is “Don’t punch people”. Stick to that rule.

Violence begets violence

Here’s an example that became world famous.

I don’t think anyone is exactly happy to see that scrawny little boy bully collide with the concrete in such a sickening way but most people can appreciate that he wouldn’t have ended up being smashed face first into the ground if he hadn’t been hitting the other boy. Most people supported Casey (the bigger of the two kids) for being so patient and don’t begrudge him for reacting when he was pushed beyond his threshold.

But how do people react when it’s not a smaller guy doing the bullying but a woman instead?

Was he wrong to hit her? Absolutely! Did it happen anyway? Yes it did, and it would not have happened if she hadn’t hit him first but when they interviewed her, she still doesn’t appear to understand that.

A personal story

I have a sister who is seven years older than me. When I was little, she used to beat the everliving shit out of me. When you’re a 6 year old boy you’re no match for a 13 year old girl, hell you’re no match for seasaw. I hated it. She beat me up just because she could, because I wasn’t as strong as her. I’d tell my Mum but she assumed because I was a boy I should be able to stand up for myself. Later on, my sister would end up in a brawl with some police officers. It took 6 of them to restrain her. Apparently those police officers weren’t able to stand up for themselves against my sister either.

This same sister of mine ended up getting involved with a man who was an excellent boxer and eventually, I would find out that he had hit her. Being her brother, I felt it was my responsibility to do something about it and I went to their place to take care of it. Keep in mind, I’m no boxer. I’m 6’3 but that won’t help much against a state champ. Luckily, when I got there my sister and her boyfriend were out. Their son was home though, and he told me the story of what happened.

My sister had been drunk and gotten herself furious about something (as she was prone to do). In this state she had screamed at, and punched at her boyfriend for about an hour. He had tried to get away from her all over the house, eventually hiding in the toilet and locking the door. My sister wasn’t done screaming at him and punching at him though, so after trying to kick the toilet door down, she grabbed a screwdriver and undid the hinges on the door. She then proceed to climb on her boyfriend, continuing her previous onslaught of punching.

He pushed her off and tried to get out of the house but my sister blocked the doorway and continued punching him. That’s when he hit her. When she fell down, he ran out the door and down the street to get away from her.

My sister and her boyfriend came home not long after my nephew had finished telling me the story. I saw the innumerable cuts, scratches, scrapes and bruises on her boyfriend’s face, neck, shoulders and arms. I saw a small cut on my sister’s right cheek.

I love my sister and I don’t want anyone hitting her but I can’t blame her boyfriend for hitting her in those circumstances. I’m not condoning it in any way but I don’t know what the hell else he could have done. If it took six police to restrain her, what was one guy supposed to do?

I’m not saying I’m ok with the fact that my sister’s boyfriend hit her but I sure as hell think if she hadn’t been punching her boyfriend for over an hour that she wouldn’t have taken that one and only punch.

For the record

I’ve never hit a woman.

There was a time my sister completely lost the plot and was at my mother’s house trying to attack my Mum. My younger brother called me for help and I belted around there but by the time I arrived, my sister was gone. I have no doubt however, If I had needed to, I would have punched my sister to protect my mother.

There was an instance in which a girl I had seen only a few times had a complete mental break and accused me of colluding with her ex-boyfriend to videotape us having sex, so I could share it on the web in order to ruin her career. She ignored my efforts to point out that the lights had been out while we had sex and that my phone had been in my pants on the floor and couldn’t possibly have filmed anything. I tried to show her my phone and prove that there were no videos like that on there but she told me I had just deleted them. Then she started coming at me with a bottle in her hand. I got out of there without having to protect myself but if she had actually tried to hit me with that bottle, I would have punched her to protect myself.

I’ve never hit a woman but then again, I’ve never been in a situation where I felt I had no other option. I hope I never am. I don’t want to ever be a guy that hit a woman and I genuinely believe that most guys in the western world feel the same way.

Brass tacks

It’s really hard not to react when someone punches you. It’s made even more difficult when you’re male and you have testosterone coursing through your body urging you to either fuck or kill everything in sight. So while most guys might react to a punch like this…

tumblr_mi3tdjJjY91s1imglo1_250

You have to accept that you’re putting yourself at risk of dealing with something more like this…

hulksmashSo just don’t do it.

Crazy bitch tip: Don’t expect anyone else to adhere to a rule you don’t follow yourself.

Dress code

9 Apr

Many places have a dress code. That means that you’re expected to wear a certain type of clothing when you visit those establishments. The expected attire varies from place to place and can range from formal dress, right down to bathers. It’s one of those things that you have to be aware of or you risk standing out from the crowd, and not in the good way. This all ties in a little with a previous post regarding appropriate v inappropriate but I want to stress that I’m not saying that anyone should dictate to you how you should dress, I’m saying that you should consider what your choice of clothing is saying about you.

Here are a few examples of choices of clothing that probably won’t work out well for you:

Sexy lawyer

Not ok for work, unless you’re a stripper.

Prom dress with exposed pregnant belly

Not OK for your high school prom, even if you’re not pregnant.

 

Shorts that don't cover all her bum or all her fat rolls

Not OK for shopping in the real world, barely OK for shopping online from your bedroom.

 

Granny in a g-string.

Not OK. Never OK, grandma! NEVER! MY EYES! THE GOGGLES DO NOTHING!

 

But these are only the tip of the iceberg. I have discovered an impressive how-not-to video that clearly shows how wearing the wrong clothing can immediately have you labeled a crazy bitch by one and all. Without further ado, let’s roll the footage…

 

And there you have it. She goes from disorderly customer to downright grade A crazy bitch immediately purely because of her unacceptable choice of  clothing. Between this and my recent post about the woman who went nuts over not getting her chicken nuggets are anything to go by, fast food joints are good places to find the girls who’ve crossed over to full bat-shit loony.

Crazy bitch tip: stay away from fast food restaurants. They seem to bring out the worst in people.

 

%d bloggers like this: