Tag Archives: trend

There’s more than one way to be beautiful

31 Jan

I don’t think I’ll ever understand why so many people believe there’s only one way to be considered beautiful.

90s black culture

When I was growing up in the 90s, there was a big influx of ‘black music’ from America. There was heaps of R&B and hip hop and rap started taking over the airwaves. The singers and rappers in the video clips for these songs were, of course, black guys and it wasn’t long before any guy with the slightest bit of darkness to his skin was suddenly a hot commodity in the teenage dating scene. It was always funny to me watching my Indian mates start playing it up and taking on all these American black-guy traits, but hey, good luck to them, they were getting the girls that way. It was downright hilarious to me at the time though, watching my lighter skinned buddies starting to act like gangsters and wearing all the garb that was popular in the hip hop videos at the time. My friends didn’t quite go these extremes but you get the idea…

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Now, these pics are pretty funny because these guys have gone waaaaaaay overboard. They look foolish. They don’t realise that they in no way resemble their hip hop heroes or that their efforts towards that come off as unbelievably lame. If these guys were just being themselves, they wouldn’t have ended up having their photos lambasted all over the internet, and that’s the point I’m getting at… You can still be attractive even if you don’t look like whatever the current trend is.

The confusion continues

That whole ‘white guys trying to be black’ thing is still going, but it’s not quite as bad as it was at its peak. In fact, some blokes like Eminem managed to blow through the boundaries and just like Elvis before him, found a way to commercialise the urge for young white guys to want to be black. Anyway, it seems there’s a different version of this ‘wanting to be like someone else’ dominating the world at the moment. This version is generally amongst the ladies and is the urge to dress, look, and act like dumb white bitches.

I’m going to assume that this is mostly because the most famous women in the world are movie stars or American ‘celebrities’, and most of these women are white skinned, have fair hair and light coloured eyes. This appears to have generated the confusion that a beautiful women must have light skin, thick lips, a petite nose, light coloured eyes, blonde hair and no normal human imperfections. Sure, there are many beautiful women out in the world who do fit that stereotype and lots of guys are attracted to them, but that doesn’t mean it’s the only way to be attractive!

Check out these ladies trying to look like someone they’re not..

There’s no denying some of these women look pretty good, but most of them are looking prettttttty badddd. And that’s the way it usually goes. You get a few people who are able to pull off a look different to their natural look because they happen to have features that make it work, but most people just can’t get away with it and it ends up looking comical. Mind you, fashion makes no sense to me. Sometimes looking awful is the trend and everyone just goes along with it. I don’t get that shit either.

Anyshways, what I’m trying to say is that you can look good without fucking with your face and your hair and without bolting on a pair of inflato-tits. You can be beautiful by playing to your strengths. If you’re not naturally blonde haired and blue eyed, don’t try to be. Instead, take advantage of what you’ve got.

What not to do

And here’s why… [warning: there’s some gross footage in this one]

Be real

Yes, there are beautiful women with blonde hair and blue eyes, but there are a billion other ways to be beautiful.

I’ve said quite clearly before that I don’t know shit about fashion. I do, however, know that these women are friggin gorgeous. Obviously these women are blessed with some outstanding genes, but they’ve got something else going for them too… they’re not trying to be someone they’re not.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t dye your hair or straighten it or put on some makeup or whatever. Go for your life! But when you hit the point that you’re trying to hide what you actually look like and fake yourself off as someone else, that’s going too far. So cut down on the plastic surgery and  have a go at taking advantage of your natural beauty. Guys aren’t as stupid as some of you girls seem to think, we can see that you’re good looking even if you’re not the type of good looking that happens to be on TV at the moment. I can’t speak for every guy on the planet but I know that I personally find a woman who’s comfortable with how she looks and who she is to be a gazillion times more attractive than a bleach blonde, fake tanned, wearing all the trendy bullshit kind of woman.

I know for sure that heaps of guys like exotic women. You can’t be exotic if you’re busy trying to look like everyone else now, can ya? Crazy bitch tip: stop trying to be someone you’re not

Please don’t dye your armpit hair

7 Dec Pink and purple armpit hair

Me, personally… not a fan of armpit hair. I tend to be less attracted to a woman who keeps her armpit hair, and I know that nobody else should really give two shits what I find attractive, but I get the vibe a lot of other people are on the same page with this. Still, I have nothing against women keeping their armpit hair. Shit, shaving your face regularly is enough to help any bloke understand that trying to maintain areas that aren’t often seen would be the sort of thing you might choose to skip.

I agree that everyone has the right to present themselves the way they wish. I agree that society is far too judgmental of outward appearance, and we should all shift towards focusing more on the value of a person’s soul, rather than their level of attractiveness.

Having said that, I don’t think fashion is going away any time soon. Part of fashion is trying new things. Part of trying new things is getting things wrong. But then you see something like this.

Pink and purple armpit hair

Photo credit: gypsy-lovechild and queer-vegan-tspin Tumblr

Some things are not right. Dying your armpit hair is one of them. I’m not saying you shouldn’t be allowed to do it, I’m just saying a lot of people are going to think you’re a crazy bitch.

I don’t know shit about fashion. I don’t know shit about what it’s like to be a woman. I do know that this is a trend I hope goes away soon.

You can find out more about this at: http://m.beautyheaven.com.au/hair/hair-colour/dyeing-armpit-hair-beauty-trend-13842, while I attempt to stop dry heaving.

Crazy bitch tip: dying your armpit hair is not a form of social protest, it’s a way of informing people that you’ll jump on a trend that should be avoided.

Pandering

21 May

Janeane Garofalo is a stand-up comedienne and she’s pretty good at that. I’m not going to say that I’m certain she’s a crazy bitch but it is a question that I ponder when I see things like the following video.

Now, that’s footage of a bit of stand-up and stand-up comedy is exactly that, comedy. Comedians and comediennes often adopt a persona when they perform. The persona is sometimes very close to their everyday selves and sometimes the total opposite. Who knows if she really believes what shes saying here but Janeane is talking about the removal of female pubic hair as pandering to the wants of men and implying that if a man is more attracted to lady-bits sans pubes as likely pedophiles.

I disagree with her take on both these things. Firstly, if you had the choice of eating a lasagne full of pubes or a lasagne with zero pubic hair content, I’m betting the average person would take the non-pube variant.

Secondly, guys are generally pretty easy to please when it comes to vaginas. If there is a vagina in the vicinity, there’s going to be a guy trying to get access to it, regardless of make, model and trim.

Thirdly, I firmly believe that the majority of women’s fashion has absolutely nothing to do with what men are interested in. I personally did not dictate any of this, for example:

Lady Gaga's fashion

I really think women’s fashion is targeted at other women. That’s OK. I barely notice it anyway, unless it’s this crazy over-the-top stuff, which I just think is weird.

In regards to the health advantages or leaving the fur-berger wearing fur, it’s actually proven that removing the hair is helping to eradicate those little blood sucking parasites we all affectionately know as crabs. This trend has actually lead to pubic lice becoming an endangered species, and that’s about the only time that’s happened and the world has rejoiced at the news.

Pubic Louse

Janeane Garofalo wants to maintain the habitats of these blood sucking, underpants dwellers. Why do you hate humankind, Janeane?

So, is Janeane a crazy bitch? I don’t know. She always seemed nice to me and I liked her portrayal as a female Jerry Seinfeld but I am still confused as to why someone who has had plastic surgery in an attempt to adhere to the wants of Hollywood is complaining that women the world over feel more comfortable wearing a bikini without hair hanging out the sides of it.

Is this what you want, Janeane?

 

Bikini wax season

From Dribbleglass.com

Hairy 1

Crazy bitch tip: Most guys are surprised to find a massive 70s style bush when they go on a journey into the unknown, and not in a good way. That doesn’t mean you have to get rid of it, just don’t go expecting rave reviews.

Then again, maybe I’m just a cog in the big-wax industry and I’m just trying to negate someone who’s finally discovered the truth about our pubic-hair eradication policy. Or maybe, just maybe Janeane is just taking-the-piss here, and I am too.

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