Tag Archives: video

The Queen of Queef

11 Aug

I’m not saying she’s a crazy bitch but chances are a lot of other people would think so…

Then again, if your life’s goal involves a queefs scoreboard and a microphone pressed against your birth canal, who am I to judge? Just be aware that you might not be as revered as you hope.

Crazy bitch tip: Dedication to a skill is generally a good thing, but be sure that skill is useful.

 

Musical Madness (Rachel Bloom seems pretty cool)

6 Apr

I’m not familiar with the show these videos are from, and to be honest, I only found out about any of this because I saw some big boobs bouncing around on my feed and that was enough to catch the caveman part of my brain and triggered further investigation.

I don’t think that’s entirely my fault. Anyways, I figured anything from a show called ‘Crazy Ex Girlfriend‘ is probably gonna have some content that suits this site. Turns out I was right.

Strangely enough, I don’t think Rachel Bloom is a crazy bitch, I think she’s just using satire to get her point across. I’m a huge fan of that approach, so she actually seems pretty awesome to me.

Yeah, ok, that’s a bit nuts but she is living proof that acting like a crazy bitch is not a permanent thing, that people can choose not to be crazy bitches.

I’m not sure if I’m supposed to masturbate angrily after watching that one or not, but I guess I’m gonna have to check out her show now.

Crazy bitch tip: if you ever catch yourself lying in your diary, it’s probably time to talk to someone about what’s going on in your life.

 

Bonus Video:

Do not try to blackmail famous athletes

23 Feb

Crazy bitch tip: Don’t try to blackmail people, it’s a shitty thing to do. Also, sometimes it backfires and you come off looking like a complete moron and a crazy bitch.

A punch to the face is not a “love-tap”

3 Feb

First off, a punch to the face is not a love-tap. This girl is ridiculous and unbelievably irresponsible. I think she is just saying it for the attention it brings, and I can’t decide if that’s better or worse than her actually believing it.

Crazy bitch tip: If anyone hits you, they don’t know how to love you. Get the fuck away from them.

If you can’t handle…

12 Nov If you can't handle a feisty woman throwing glassware at your head without hitting her, then maybe you're not the man you think you are

There’s a popular quote attributed to Marilyn Monroe, which reads:

I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and am at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, you sure as hell don't deserve me at  my best - Marilyn Monroe

The quote has become abbreviated to “If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best” and that shortened version has become part of common parlance in most English speaking places. This version is typically assumed to be understood as

“I’m not perfect, but if you can’t get past that, you’ll miss out on what makes me great.”

and I reckon that’s a fair and reasonable sentiment to express.

Warping the message

The problem is, that’s doesn’t seem to be what the people who are using this quote actually mean. So what message are the people who utter this quote actually trying to get across? My interpretation is that, usually, they’re saying:

“It’s not my fault if you can’t put up with how inappropriately I sometimes act. Get used to it or go away.”

That sentiment is not so reasonable to me.

Clearly, whoever put this eCard together is taking a different meaning as well:

What she really means is "I'm a fucking psycho"

The way I see it, everyone has their issues. Some more than others, and often that’s completely out of people’s control. There’s nothing wrong with having issues but there is a big problem when you choose to allow yourself to act inappropriately because of them.

Snap back to reality

I prefer this take on Marilyn’s quote:

If you can't handle me at my worst, I don't blame  you, because that shit is ridiculous.

At least it’s self-aware.

Woah, woah, woah!

But as I mentioned, there are many people making use of this quote to excuse themselves for their shitty behaviour. How’s this one?

If you can't handle a feisty woman throwing glassware at your head without hitting her, then maybe you're not the man you think you are

As I always say, a man should never hit a woman, but also, a woman should never hit a man, or throw glassware at his head. I think we all agree that the man referenced in the quote shouldn’t hit the woman, but the question that comes to mind is… why the fuck was she throwing glassware at his head? Moreover, how the fuck has she convinced herself that the glassware throwing aspect of this scenario is not at least a part of the problem?

Your thoughts, Fresh Prince?

In the words of the great thinker, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air:

handle you? you're not an animal!

You’re being sexist!

In an effort to avoid being too male-centric with my thinking, here’s what Cate Gary has to say on the matter.

cate-quote

Cate makes some damned good points.

Firstly, just because you have good points, that doesn’t necessarily outweigh your bad points. Your bad points may be so horrible that you couldn’t justify them even if you were busy curing cancer the rest of the time. There are limits! I’m sure Hitler had some good points too, but they didn’t tally up against his whole “trying to exterminate entire races” thing, now did they?

Secondly, Marilyn was unbelievably sexy, but that’s pretty much all you ever hear about her. We don’t reflect on Marylin Monroe as a great mind of our time. In fact, you could argue that she is the original bimbo. While sex appeal has its own value, let’s face it… it’s 90% inherited through genetics. The reason we’ve all heard of her and seen pictures of her is because she had a fantastic body and a beautiful face, and she knew how to move in a seductive manner. No doubt she worked hard to keep her figure and to star in enough films to get her name so well known, but if she wasn’t blessed with her good looks I don’t think we would ever have heard of her.

In her own words

Check out this interview with Marilyn Monroe and make up your own mind.

So there’s not a lot about Marilyn that suggests that she’s a great role model for success. As Cate Gary mentioned above, it’s rather the opposite. No matter how you look at it, she had access to everything a person could want, but she wasn’t around long enough to enjoy it.

Here’s what she had to say when asked if she was happy:

“I’m genuinely miserable” – Marilyn Monroe.

Now, I don’t want to bag out Marilyn Monroe here, because the more footage of her I watch, the closer I get to falling in love with this long gone starlet, but it’s certainly clear that she wasn’t happy, especially at the end of her life, and that she would have preferred to be in a different situation. Perhaps, if she had addressed some of her self-confessed bad points, and not relied on people being willing to handle her, things might have ended differently.

Back to that quote

You don’t have to be at your best all the time, and it is fair to expect those who care about you to be understanding of your flaws and how you act when things get too much, but don’t go getting confused into thinking that they should put up with whatever you want to throw at them because you’re just so friggin amazing on your good days.

You have a responsibility to handle yourself and to remember that the people who love you shouldn’t have to put up with you treating them like shit just because that’s what you feel like doing at that moment in time. Instead of throwing glassware at your significant other, speak to a psychiatrist about why you get so worked up that you even want to throw glassware at your significant other!

Remember, even Marilyn Monroe ran into guys who wouldn’t put up with her shit.

Crazy bitch tip: Learn to handle yourself before you go expecting anyone else to put up with your bullshit.

Side note

The life of Marilyn Monroe is very interesting, and ultimately, a sad reminder that things aren’t always beautiful for the beautiful people. Check out this film about who miss Norma Jeane really was underneath.

What a shame to lose such an interesting person just because she had such a hot body.

White people are allowed to have opinions

28 May

I missed the first part of this video the first time I watched it, so I was shocked by the actions of the presenter.

Then I watched it again and caught the part where the woman tells the presenter that his opinion is invalid because he’s a white male and suggests that because he’s a white male, he’s automatically racist and sexist. I also noticed that, in the midst of this she tries to talk over the host of the show and then accuses him of talking over her.

At a certain point, there’s just no way to be on her side.

For me it was when she couldn’t handle the criticism the host aimed at her and told him that she wasn’t “going to enact the labour of having to explain” why the hosts criticism of her calling him a racist, sexist purely for being born a white male is offensive to her.

For the record, I know ‘her’ name but I don’t want to direct people in her direction, so I’m going with the generic forms of ‘she’ and ‘her’.

Honestly, I just feel bad for her. I feel bad for the majority of these young social justice warriors, really.

Yes, of course there are wrongs going on in the world and there are people that seek to take advantage of you or are prejudiced against you because you were born female or an ethnicity other than Caucasian, but I think it’s been so brainwashed into these young women that they’re seeing it in situations it doesn’t exist. That wouldn’t be such an issue if it didn’t actually hurt the cause, but it does. It diminishes the impact of the voices of those people who are fighting against actual injustices. It reinforces the opinions of those people who are sexist and racist and it alienates the people who are actually on the good side because they get blamed for things they have nothing to do with.

Anyway, you might as well disregard anything I’ve said on the matter because I’m a white, male and my opinion is apparently racist, sexist and minimalising everyone on the planet. Sorry about that, and sorry about talking over you.

Crazy bitch tip: Maybe you should enact the labour of explaining whatever the fuck is going on in your head so that someone can understand why you’re calling everyone racist sexists.

Update

I found a video in which a guy goes through and accumulates all the various bullshit the young woman in the video has been up to.

But I’ve realised that it’s presented by a white male, so again, it’s clearly completely invalid as well.

Calm is better

22 Apr

We all have the tendency towards getting emotional when things just refuse to go our way no matter how hard we try, and that’s ok. The problem is, the more emotional you become, the less likely you are to get what you wanted in the first place because it’s difficult to interact with highly emotional people. Basically, calm is better.

Here’s an example.

The lady just wanted the tv to work with the universal remote but that all gets lost in the screaming and instead of getting some help with the problem, she manages to make herself look like a crazy bitch. It’s just as likely that she’s had a terrible month of frustrations and annoyances and just couldn’t hold it in anymore. It doesn’t matter though because an outburst is an outburst and unfortunately for this lady, this one was caught on film.

I am impressed that she mentions taking the children to see a shiprwreck. That’s the sort of tangential arguments that come out when a person is not in control of their emotions, and as you can see it definitely did not help her achieve her initial goal of sorting out the remote.

Crazy bitch tip: emotions are natural and can be difficult to deal with, but letting them get the better of you tends not to help you get what you’re after.

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