Tag Archives: woman
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Double standards

8 May

  

Crazy bitch tip: do unto others…

Woman sets petrol on fire when guy doesn’t give her a smoke

30 Apr Car burns after woman sets the fuel on fire

The woman in this video asks the man for a smoke. He doesn’t have one to give her, so she lights the petrol on fire!

Crazy bitch level achieved: Maximum.

Crazy bitch tip: do not ever set petrol on fire, especially not just because someone didn’t have a smoke to give you.

Sometimes you can’t hold it

19 Apr

Credit goes to reddit.com/u/majibita for capturing this unsightly faux pas.

credit to reddit.com/u/majibita

In all fairness, the woman in this picture is more than likely a nice, normal human being who just had a shitty night (I’m sorry). At least her face isn’t in the picture.

Take this as a damned good reminder that, if you’re not feeling so hood, you’re better off facing the queues at the ladies dunnies that trying to hold out to flirt with Mr Right.

Crazy bitch tip: your flirting success rate will greatly diminish in accordance with the amount of fecal matter you currently have dripping down your legs.

Aside

Emma Watson is awesome

23 Feb

Emma Watson is not a crazy bitch. Emma Watson is awesome and she’s doing awesome things.

We all know Emma from her origins as an actor in the Harry Potter films but since her early years as the face of a strong female character, Emma has herself grown into a strong female character. Emma is a wonderful example of a woman, and a great example of the opposite of a crazy bitch.

In the following video, we see Ms Watson speak to the UN about women’s rights.

Importantly, Emma pointed out that feminism shouldn’t be about man-hating. This is an extremely important aspect of the mess that has become of the resurgence of the feminist movement. This is an observation which is lost on far too many women, who instead of looking for ways to help us to move towards the ideal scenario of equality for all, choose instead to blame men as if they’re the cause of any and all inequality that exists.

Emma Watson is a great example of a stunningly beautiful woman who has not rested on her aesthetic advantage. Unlike so many other child actors who go off the rails, become addicted to substances and squander their fortunes. Ms Watson has instead taken the advantages life has provided her and used them as a launching pad to bring positive change to the world.

Note that you don’t tend to hear about Ms Watson having tantrums or showing off her wealth or having twitter wars over insignificant shit. Isn’t that a wonderful change? That’s just another point in her favour.

Crazy bitch tip: Take a leaf out of Emma’s book.

There’s more than one way to be beautiful

31 Jan

I don’t think I’ll ever understand why so many people believe there’s only one way to be considered beautiful.

90s black culture

When I was growing up in the 90s, there was a big influx of ‘black music’ from America. There was heaps of R&B and hip hop and rap started taking over the airwaves. The singers and rappers in the video clips for these songs were, of course, black guys and it wasn’t long before any guy with the slightest bit of darkness to his skin was suddenly a hot commodity in the teenage dating scene. It was always funny to me watching my Indian mates start playing it up and taking on all these American black-guy traits, but hey, good luck to them, they were getting the girls that way. It was downright hilarious to me at the time though, watching my lighter skinned buddies starting to act like gangsters and wearing all the garb that was popular in the hip hop videos at the time. My friends didn’t quite go these extremes but you get the idea…

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Now, these pics are pretty funny because these guys have gone waaaaaaay overboard. They look foolish. They don’t realise that they in no way resemble their hip hop heroes or that their efforts towards that come off as unbelievably lame. If these guys were just being themselves, they wouldn’t have ended up having their photos lambasted all over the internet, and that’s the point I’m getting at… You can still be attractive even if you don’t look like whatever the current trend is.

The confusion continues

That whole ‘white guys trying to be black’ thing is still going, but it’s not quite as bad as it was at its peak. In fact, some blokes like Eminem managed to blow through the boundaries and just like Elvis before him, found a way to commercialise the urge for young white guys to want to be black. Anyway, it seems there’s a different version of this ‘wanting to be like someone else’ dominating the world at the moment. This version is generally amongst the ladies and is the urge to dress, look, and act like dumb white bitches.

I’m going to assume that this is mostly because the most famous women in the world are movie stars or American ‘celebrities’, and most of these women are white skinned, have fair hair and light coloured eyes. This appears to have generated the confusion that a beautiful women must have light skin, thick lips, a petite nose, light coloured eyes, blonde hair and no normal human imperfections. Sure, there are many beautiful women out in the world who do fit that stereotype and lots of guys are attracted to them, but that doesn’t mean it’s the only way to be attractive!

Check out these ladies trying to look like someone they’re not..

There’s no denying some of these women look pretty good, but most of them are looking prettttttty badddd. And that’s the way it usually goes. You get a few people who are able to pull off a look different to their natural look because they happen to have features that make it work, but most people just can’t get away with it and it ends up looking comical. Mind you, fashion makes no sense to me. Sometimes looking awful is the trend and everyone just goes along with it. I don’t get that shit either.

Anyshways, what I’m trying to say is that you can look good without fucking with your face and your hair and without bolting on a pair of inflato-tits. You can be beautiful by playing to your strengths. If you’re not naturally blonde haired and blue eyed, don’t try to be. Instead, take advantage of what you’ve got.

What not to do

And here’s why… [warning: there’s some gross footage in this one]

Be real

Yes, there are beautiful women with blonde hair and blue eyes, but there are a billion other ways to be beautiful.

I’ve said quite clearly before that I don’t know shit about fashion. I do, however, know that these women are friggin gorgeous. Obviously these women are blessed with some outstanding genes, but they’ve got something else going for them too… they’re not trying to be someone they’re not.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t dye your hair or straighten it or put on some makeup or whatever. Go for your life! But when you hit the point that you’re trying to hide what you actually look like and fake yourself off as someone else, that’s going too far. So cut down on the plastic surgery and  have a go at taking advantage of your natural beauty. Guys aren’t as stupid as some of you girls seem to think, we can see that you’re good looking even if you’re not the type of good looking that happens to be on TV at the moment. I can’t speak for every guy on the planet but I know that I personally find a woman who’s comfortable with how she looks and who she is to be a gazillion times more attractive than a bleach blonde, fake tanned, wearing all the trendy bullshit kind of woman.

I know for sure that heaps of guys like exotic women. You can’t be exotic if you’re busy trying to look like everyone else now, can ya? Crazy bitch tip: stop trying to be someone you’re not

Don’t cause 13 year old boys to ejaculate in your vagina

23 Dec

I would have thought that was self-explanatory but apparently I thought wrong. Here is some evidence.

There are many things I could comment about in regards to this video, but let’s go bullet point styles instead:

  • She’s 6 years older than this kid and he was a close family friend
  • That’s rape, and also massively disrespectful to her close family friends
  • Not only did she rape the boy, she decides that the boy should now be a father because she believes she did such a good job or raping him, that she got pregnant to him
  • It turns out that the kid she raped is not even the father of the child, so not only did she rape a boy, she mistakenly accused him of being the father of her child and was ready to try and get money out of him to help raise a kid that wasn’t his
  • She’s openly admitted to raping a boy, and to getting pregnant without even knowing who the actual father of the child is, and her child is bound to see this video one day

I feel bad for both the kids involved. The boy who was raped got off relatively easy by not being the father of his rapists child I suppose, but geez what a terrifying situation to go through as a 14 year old. As for the rapists child, man oh man what a life that kid’s in for. It’s not often you think a kid would be far better off without their mother in their life at all.

Crazy bitch tip: if you choose to have sex, do so in a manner which ensures that you know who you are actually pregnant to, or better yet, do so in a way that ensures you don’t get pregnant unintentionally.

 

Charity

31 Aug

Being charitable is a good thing, no matter what form you choose for your charitable efforts to take. It is however also true that in some instances, the suggested method of charity might raise more than a few eyebrows.

Some people mistakenly think that their charitable efforts should somehow relate to their vocation. For example, a bricklayer might think that the best way to offer assistance would be the offer of laying bricks. That’s an example in which the vocation might be a worthwhile contribution to the cause at hand. Other vocations like ‘blogger’, ‘movie critic’ or ‘bikini waxer’ might not be so beneficial. Let’s face it, if you’ve just experienced a tornado, hurricane, a flood, or some other monumental tragedy, you’re probably not going to get a lot out of a free opinion on the documentary being made about said tragedy.

That’s why, the more typical approach to being charitable in these situations is to donate some money to a reputable charity who will be assisting in helping those affected by the unfortunate circumstances. Part of the rationale behind that is that money is much more universally useful. Another reason, is that some pretty crazy offers come through in the name of charity…

I’m sure that most people immediately assume that all female porn stars are crazy bitches but I’m not one of them. I don’t think you can generalise like that. I do, however, believe that suggesting that you might offer some benefit to a bereaved man who’s daughter has passed away by dressing up as a schoolgirl and offering him your body for his own amusement, does make it difficult to argue against you being a crazy bitch.

I also concede that offering your asshole as a storage space to people going through a tragedy and combining that sentiment with ‘bless you’ is unarguably straight out of crazy bitchdom.

Crazy bitch tip: When it comes to charity, generally it’s not a great idea to offer sexual acts.

 

Never hit a man

2 Aug

Alrighty, listen up, ladies. The unwritten law of society that a man should never hit a woman doesn’t somehow imply that it’s OK for you women to go around hitting men.

Hahaha. Oh wait a minute, that could actually kill him.

Hahaha. Oh wait a minute, that could actually kill him.

It’s not OK. As a matter of fact, it’s a really, really, reallllllllllllllllllllllllly bad idea. It’s an unbelievably stupid thing to do and if you choose the wrong target, it might be the last really stupid thing you ever do.

Check out this display of charm and understanding…

A group of women ganging up like that on a man is no less shitty than seeing a group of men ganging up on someone. Maybe I’m old fashioned but for ladies to be throwing punches and yelling “what!” over and over again while they harass a guy just doesn’t seem like a classy way to get through the day to me. I mean sure, if you’re a female pugilist who also suffers from a hearing disability, I’d have to eat my words there but in any other situation you might as well be screaming “I’m a crazy bitch.” because that’s what you’re really telling the world.

It’s a numbers game

In the video above, there’s one guy and about four women. That’s not cool. Here’s a secret a lot of women don’t seem to have learned: While men are typically stronger than women, an individual man is not capable of fighting all the women in the world at the same time. Let’s say that on average, a guy is twice as strong as a woman, that means a man can potentially fight off two women at one time, maybe three, maybe even four but there’s a point at which a number of women can overpower a man. That means that it is possible for women to bully and abuse men. And it does happen.

Look at him, throwing his jaw at her fist like that. He should go to jail!

Look at him, throwing his jaw at her fist like that.

But when I mention numbers like those, I’m purely talking about situations where the man would actually be fighting back. Most men don’t. Most men know not to hit a woman. Most men will do anything they can to avoid hitting a woman. These men can be susceptible to bullying from women.

He's a monster.

He’s a monster.

A light beating

A medium beating.

A heavy beating

Seeking help

That shit’s crazy

When a woman hits a man a lot of things run through his head. Typically, the first thing is fear, the second thing is rage and the third is hopefully suppression of that rage based on remembering “I’m not allowed to hit her back”.

This is a totally acceptable situation that I'm not allowed to react to.

This is a totally acceptable situation that I’m not allowed to react to.

 

If you’re a woman who has hit a man and you’re lucky enough to make it to that point without retaliation, you’ll be looking at a man who is feeling emasculated. As a guy, let me promise you that a man who is experiencing the feelings associated with emasculation is an extraordinarily dangerous version of that same man. Even if he’s a very gentle guy by nature, or he’s not especially strong, emasculating a man can bring out the furious caveman monster that lurks beneath the surface of  every last male of the human species.

It is incredibly dangerous to put a male into that situation. DO NOT DO THAT. As I mentioned earlier, most men will do their level best not to hit a woman and in the videos above, you’ve seen men showing impressive patience while under attack. You might not be so lucky. You might choose the wrong guy at the wrong time, and if you do, you’re going to be in extreme danger.

ngr

It’s not funny. It’s downright terrifying what a person can do when they snap into a rage. When that person is a man, and you’ve just landed a blow that not only hurt him physically, but attacked his masculinity at the same time, the outcome can be deadly. A man should never hit a woman but that doesn’t mean he won’t and the more often you hit a man, the more likely you are to break that boundary.

 

Of all people, Whoopi Goldberg?

An American football player named Ray Rice recently knocked his wife out and had to drag her out of an elevator. Yep, he’s a real piece of shit. It turns out though, that his wife had been hitting him first. The women on The View were talking about this incident. I never thought I’d utter this sentence but Whoopi Goldberg made a very good point about it.

Whoopi Goldberg. A reliable source of wisdom.

Whoopi Goldberg. A reliable source of wisdom.

Whoopi practically had to yell to get out her point that you shouldn’t hit someone and expect them to not hit you back.

In the video, you see the other ladies on The View shaking their heads in disapproval as they try to out-volume Whoopi as she expresses her thoughts. What Whoopi is saying is “Don’t hit anyone” but the other women seem to think they have every right to hit a man right up until he thinks his life is in danger, and that they should get away with that without so much as a single counter strike. THAT IS INSANITY. You don’t get to hit anyone! The rule is “Don’t punch people”. Stick to that rule.

Violence begets violence

Here’s an example that became world famous.

I don’t think anyone is exactly happy to see that scrawny little boy bully collide with the concrete in such a sickening way but most people can appreciate that he wouldn’t have ended up being smashed face first into the ground if he hadn’t been hitting the other boy. Most people supported Casey (the bigger of the two kids) for being so patient and don’t begrudge him for reacting when he was pushed beyond his threshold.

But how do people react when it’s not a smaller guy doing the bullying but a woman instead?

Was he wrong to hit her? Absolutely! Did it happen anyway? Yes it did, and it would not have happened if she hadn’t hit him first but when they interviewed her, she still doesn’t appear to understand that.

A personal story

I have a sister who is seven years older than me. When I was little, she used to beat the everliving shit out of me. When you’re a 6 year old boy you’re no match for a 13 year old girl, hell you’re no match for seasaw. I hated it. She beat me up just because she could, because I wasn’t as strong as her. I’d tell my Mum but she assumed because I was a boy I should be able to stand up for myself. Later on, my sister would end up in a brawl with some police officers. It took 6 of them to restrain her. Apparently those police officers weren’t able to stand up for themselves against my sister either.

This same sister of mine ended up getting involved with a man who was an excellent boxer and eventually, I would find out that he had hit her. Being her brother, I felt it was my responsibility to do something about it and I went to their place to take care of it. Keep in mind, I’m no boxer. I’m 6’3 but that won’t help much against a state champ. Luckily, when I got there my sister and her boyfriend were out. Their son was home though, and he told me the story of what happened.

My sister had been drunk and gotten herself furious about something (as she was prone to do). In this state she had screamed at, and punched at her boyfriend for about an hour. He had tried to get away from her all over the house, eventually hiding in the toilet and locking the door. My sister wasn’t done screaming at him and punching at him though, so after trying to kick the toilet door down, she grabbed a screwdriver and undid the hinges on the door. She then proceed to climb on her boyfriend, continuing her previous onslaught of punching.

He pushed her off and tried to get out of the house but my sister blocked the doorway and continued punching him. That’s when he hit her. When she fell down, he ran out the door and down the street to get away from her.

My sister and her boyfriend came home not long after my nephew had finished telling me the story. I saw the innumerable cuts, scratches, scrapes and bruises on her boyfriend’s face, neck, shoulders and arms. I saw a small cut on my sister’s right cheek.

I love my sister and I don’t want anyone hitting her but I can’t blame her boyfriend for hitting her in those circumstances. I’m not condoning it in any way but I don’t know what the hell else he could have done. If it took six police to restrain her, what was one guy supposed to do?

I’m not saying I’m ok with the fact that my sister’s boyfriend hit her but I sure as hell think if she hadn’t been punching her boyfriend for over an hour that she wouldn’t have taken that one and only punch.

For the record

I’ve never hit a woman.

There was a time my sister completely lost the plot and was at my mother’s house trying to attack my Mum. My younger brother called me for help and I belted around there but by the time I arrived, my sister was gone. I have no doubt however, If I had needed to, I would have punched my sister to protect my mother.

There was an instance in which a girl I had seen only a few times had a complete mental break and accused me of colluding with her ex-boyfriend to videotape us having sex, so I could share it on the web in order to ruin her career. She ignored my efforts to point out that the lights had been out while we had sex and that my phone had been in my pants on the floor and couldn’t possibly have filmed anything. I tried to show her my phone and prove that there were no videos like that on there but she told me I had just deleted them. Then she started coming at me with a bottle in her hand. I got out of there without having to protect myself but if she had actually tried to hit me with that bottle, I would have punched her to protect myself.

I’ve never hit a woman but then again, I’ve never been in a situation where I felt I had no other option. I hope I never am. I don’t want to ever be a guy that hit a woman and I genuinely believe that most guys in the western world feel the same way.

Brass tacks

It’s really hard not to react when someone punches you. It’s made even more difficult when you’re male and you have testosterone coursing through your body urging you to either fuck or kill everything in sight. So while most guys might react to a punch like this…

tumblr_mi3tdjJjY91s1imglo1_250

You have to accept that you’re putting yourself at risk of dealing with something more like this…

hulksmashSo just don’t do it.

Crazy bitch tip: Don’t expect anyone else to adhere to a rule you don’t follow yourself.

Family guy examples

20 Jul

Asking out a 24 year old girl

This seems so exaggerated that it couldn’t possibly be real, right? False. It might be exaggerated but this is exactly what it’s like when you’re a guy trying to ask out a girl like this. I don’t know about other guys but for me, when I was asking a girl out, it wasn’t meant to be a game or deception or anything confusing, I was just asking her if she wanted to spend some time with me. This seemed to be completely lost on some girls though.

If a guy asks you out and you want to go out with him, say “Yes”. If a guy asks you out and you don’t want to go out with him, say “No thanks”. If you’re not sure if you want to go out with the guy, say “Yes” and figure it out by the end of the date.

There’s no reason to turn it into some big confusing pile of horseshit, and here’s some inside info from the guy’s side it pisses us off, confuses us and if you do a bad enough job, it can really hurt our feelings. There’s nothing more humiliating than finding out the girl you though was keen on you was just playing with you for some attention and there’s nothing more frustrating than finding out that the girl you really liked wanted to go out with you but was “playing hard to get”.

Pleas understand this. Men cannot read your mind. You might be playing hard to get while every other girl that guy has asked out was just not interested, how the hell is he supposed to know that when you say “No”, you actually meant “Please ask me again later to confirm for me that you’re really, really interested because I like playing weird little games with people instead of just saying what I actually mean.”?

Men: We don’t know what we did

And that brings me to the fact that us mere males have pretty much no idea what the hell you women are after most of the time.

This is an interesting little bit of animation here because when most guys watch this, they laugh at how crazy the girl is but when most girls watch it, they understand why the girl is upset. In case you didn’t get it, watch it again but keep this in mind… the girl is interested in the guy and she’s hoping that he’ll ask her to walk with him to the next class they both have together, the guy is of course, completely unaware of this and his non-nonchalant “Seeya there” is seen by the girl as a rejection and thus, humiliated, she runs away. Her friend is then furious at Mr Oblivious for hurting the young lady’s feelings.

I’ve been through this one too. Actually, I’ve been through this one a LOT. Let me point out yet again that men have no mind reading super powers, no matter how much you might wish we did. When girls act like this, they expect guys to be paying attention to all their little cues and hints and body language and whatever else but you forget that we might not necessarily be in detective mode every waking second of every day.

There’s a massive crossover between the behaviour of a girl who is legitimately attracted to a guy and a girl who is just being friendly. There are also girls out there who just love to flirt with guys they aren’t interested in, and that looks pretty much identical to when a girl is interested. Guess the wrong way and make a move and the guy can be mockingly rejected, guess the wrong way (or don’t even notice) and the guy runs the risk of massively offending the girl. It’s a minefield.

Interestingly, most women tend to stop playing the confusing games and being indirect as they get older, especially so if they’ve never married.

Going on a blind date with a 37 year old

I don’t have direct experience with dating a 37 year old. I have, however dated some ladies in their early 30s and even some in their mid-to-late 20s who have acted in a slightly less cartoony version of what’s shown in the animation above. The increasingly loud biological clock and other societal pressures tend to mount against women as they get older if they’re still single and childless.

When women let this pressure get to them, a lady’s standards can drop through the floor. Once desperation creeps in, things get pretty full on. To tell you the truth, ladies, it can be flat-out terrifying. As a guy, it can end up feeling like her sole interest in you is for your baby batter and as soon as she’s certain you’re not firing blanks, her focus turns to limiting your opportunities for escape. I’m reminded of episode #12…

and episode #13

What the hell is my point?

We don’t know what you want. We know we want you to have it (unless it means you’re just trying to lock us into a quickfix marriage to beat your biological clock) and we know we don’t want to upset you if we can avoid it, so maybe it’s worth noting that WE CAN’T READ YOUR MINDS. 99% of the problems I’ve run into with girlfriends and potential girlfriends has come down to one simple thing, a lack of clear communication from the woman involved and it drives me round the bend. Why the hell did we put all this time and effort into creating all these different languages with all these beautiful words if you’re still going to try and communicate with your eyelashes and various other silent and generally invisible ‘hints’?

If you ladies are gonna make fun of guys for acting like cave men and being big dumb animals, don’t go getting all shitty at us when we do a piss-poor job of playing super-duper girl move detectives. WE DON’T KNOW THAT LANGUAGE AND THE MOVES MEAN DIFFERENT THINGS DEPENDING ON WHO YOU’RE TALKING TO. So please, stop it.

Crazy bitch tip: if any of the women in these videos remind you of your self, it’s time to do some self reflection and consider if that behaviour is actually helping you towards getting what you want.

Video

Episode #20 – Cut off

3 Jul
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