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“I wouldn’t have to lie if you trusted me”

19 May

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Traveller coming unglued

23 Jan

 
Crazy bitch tip: don’t say shit like that.

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A matter of taste

30 Dec

When did you last masturbate? This doesn't taste like three days!

To be honest, I kinda think if you know someone well enough to differentiate the taste of their semen based on days gone without ejaculating, you’ve got a very tight-knit relationship going and that’s sort of nice. With that said, it’s still going to sound weird if you question your significant other’s masturbational frequency based on the taste of their man-goo.

Crazy bitch tip: A lot of people are going to assume you’re a crazy bitch if you start using your knowledge a cum-connoisseur as evidence to prove or disprove the statements of others.

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They don’t fit, ok!?

2 Jul

  
Crazy bitch tip: things can be too small, even when you’re very skinny.

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Double standards

8 May

  

Crazy bitch tip: do unto others…

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If we destroy all the scales no one will know we’re fat

21 Apr

 
Crazy bitch tip: Don’t blame the scales for what they say.

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Welcome to Wendy’s 

20 Mar

  

Crazy bitch tip: be sure your clothing is appropriate for your workplace.

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Emoji analysis

19 Mar



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Take it as a sign…

13 Mar

Pole dancing fail

So, apparently these photos are evidence of an epidemic of prostitutes in New Zealand trying to attract business by showing off their skills on the public street signs. Looks like it didn’t work out too well for this particular lady of the night.

If you want to read more about how the Kiwis are tackling this unique issue, check out this article

Crazy bitch tip: If you feel you absolutely have to pole dance in public using a street sign, at least check it’s up to the challenge before you start.

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Butterflies have a short life span

12 Mar

Butterflies have a short life span

Crazy bitch tip: Butterflies have a short life span. The same is true of the time in your life when wedging a g-banger up your clacker and exposing your caboose is going to be well received.

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